Morphin' and Memeing

I've been too busy miming to morph this weekend.

I've spent much of my weekend working on Book Meme Central. Choosing templates, colors, layouts and formats. Once I get the process streamlined it won't be so time consuming. I've also revamped your entries to include links to your site (as well as the meme separately) and additional information about your blog. I've mentioned those who tagged you and placed a link to their site. Double whammy. 

At first I started simply listing book memes. Then, I realized that it's a perfectly ridiculous waste of space and opportunity to publish a link only without promoting the wonderfully talented and insightful authors. YOU.

Besides, people are more likely to want to read your meme if it's personalized with your photo and other facts to draw them in. After all, the purpose is to encourage literacy and love of reading. What a high-tech, entertaining avenue to accomplish that! If the creative people I'm meeting in cyberspace get more attention for their work, then all the more reason to celebrate. Now all I need is some high-tech traffic.

Next is Movie Meme Central and then.....drum roll please.....Music Meme Central. I'm a musician for heaven's sake (!) I couldn't leave that out. I will start a music meme soon (I promise it will be short). Yaxlich also gave me a great idea to go along with that. More later.
If you don't see your meme listed, be patient. I'll get around to it sooner or later. And please send me any memes (all kinds) that you might stumble across in cyberspace.

I promise a proper morph next week. I'm anxious to get out of this chair and descend upon some poor unsuspecting soul with my floppy hat, Cher earrings, and cowboy boots . I'm beginning to feel like a librarian.

Not Mimi-ish.

A mysterious man has shown up on my Dating Profile blog and has me humming Nancy Sinatra's These Boots Are Made For Walkin'!
Oh dear.

Powerless, but OK In The Philippines

We're all relieved and glad to hear that Lizza (I Am Woman, See Me Blog!) and Irene (Pregnant Pauses) are safe and sound. Read Irene's post today entitled Deluge for up-to-date information. They left these comments for us:

Lizza wrote this morning at 16:06:24 + 0800 to say
Hi Mimi,

Things are pretty much the same. Power is being restored to more and more parts of the city. I hope ours comes back again soon. But with the power lines down in my area, I'm not counting on it.

Sigh.


That Lizza, such a trooper. She is going through Internet withdrawals. She'll have a lot to say when she returns. I hope she's taking notes!

They also left these comments for us today. From Irene:
(who won Bobby Griffin's Bestest Blog of the Day yesterday, in case you haven't noticed)

Hello Mimi! Fear not. The irrepressible Miss Tourism is alive and kicking and loony as ever! c",)As I recounted in my latest post, the country is still on the throes of recovery from the huge havoc Typhoon Milenyo has wreaked last Thursday but - thank God - we're all doing pretty well under the circumstances. (and then some other mushy stuff which is great! Mimi likes mush.) I have found another blogger friend.

And from Miss Lizza (also a former Bestest Blog of the Day winner. See 8/25/06).......Thanks for the warm thoughts, Mimi! I'm still power-less at home (writing this in an Internet cafe again); Irene is faring better.

Complete with warm fuzzies from the great Bazza himself, author of Normal Life ( a recent Bestest Blog of the Day winner! See 9/26/06)

I am in esteemed cyber-company.

Go to their sites to read more comments from around the world. People who are wishing them well in true blogosphere style. It's heart-warming and makes me proud to be a blogger.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go morph somewhere.

Lizza and Irene: Missing in Action

Anybody heard from these two?

A collective warm positive vibe goes out to Lizza (I Am Woman, See Me Blog!) and Irene Tuazon (Pregnant Pauses) in the Philippines. As you know, they were hit with a typhoon in their part of the world yesterday.

I received an email from Lizza at 14:27:24 + 0800 today and she posted to her blog shortly after at an internet cafe. She said to say 'hi' to all her blogger friends. I haven't heard from her again.
Irene Tuazon - Pregnant Pauses- won Bestest Blog of the Day today but has not posted since Wednesday, Sept. 27.
There are forty comments for that post and still no Irene. Blogger friends are starting to worry. Has anyone heard from her?

Prayers and thoughts are with these two great blogger personalities as well as all the people in the Philippines who were affected by this tragedy.

Karaoke Blog - Step Right Up!

Would you like to be a featured blogger on Mimi Writes?
Here's your chance to get noticed in the blogosphere!

I will host the first Karaoke Blog next Tuesday, October 3, 2006. You are invited to submit original content in the form of

• poetry
• story/essay
• photographs
• a rant
• a funny
• art work
• articles
• book review
• movie review/critique
• cultural arts commentary
• a favorite post from your own site you'd like to see republished

or anything else blog worthy that you would normally post on your own site. This is a great way to get your work noticed by a different audience. Your writing must be original with no infringement of copyright in text or photos. I will not accept anything explicitly sexual, violent, hateful, profane or offensive. I will not accept entries to advertise products.
Entries must be emailed to mimiwrites2005 at yahoo and received before midnight on Sunday. 


If your submission is accepted, I will link you to Mimi Writes and my other site, Dating Profile of the Day. I am also in the process of creating a permanent separate category link in my sidebar just for Karaoke Blog submissions. You don't have to be a blogspot blogger or even author your own blog.
Be the first Karaoke Blogger on Mimi Writes!!

The M Word

I have meme-itis.

Which technically means "inflammation of the meme."
Every time I try to choose books to write about for the meme, I find myself changing my mind - and my meme - a million times.
I've been possessed by alliteration. Every word I write buzzes with m's and emes and imes and rhymes with....well, you know, the "M" word.

I can't stop. There are too many books. My brain is in overload and I'm drawing a complete blank at the same time.

I have cortex issues.

Want to leave this out, want to put that in, don't want to write a novel, can't be too snippy, must find a picture of the book, facts on the author etc etc etc.
Somebody slap me.

Yaxlich has crowned me Queen of the Memes.
Oh the pressure.
Not sure if I can live up to that, but I do think I'm becoming a royal pain in the derriere to myself (that would be my first-person self). My third-person self is over at the other blog incognito, as we speak.

Not only are we all developing split personalities (yes, I'm talking to YOU) but they are exponentially expanding in cyberspace. This could very well alter the course of the universe. We may need to solicit a team of research scientists from the Mmmmmmayo Clinic to rescue our collective rumps.

That blasted meme.

Nonetheless, I'm beginning to love the word meme. It sounds familiar somehow.

I may add narcissism to my current ailment.

Signed,
Queen Meme
(Queen sounds so old. I want to be a princess).

Thrice Removed Multiplied by Two is Equal or Greater Than One

Me Tarzan, you Jane.
Me Jane, you Tarzan.
Me Mimi, me Mimi, me Mimi again.

All my cyberfriends are starting
to speak in third-person.
Including me, me and me.
This evening my talented and articulate writer friend, Gale Martin of GEM'S blog fame left this comment about my newest blog, Book Meme Central. She wrote,
"Gale does, too. Gale always seems to being saying to mimi, "Great idea." That must mean mimi is a great idea person. Gale is glad to have such a person as her cyberfriend. "
See what I mean?
 
Now, before I get all grammified (that's a new word for being cloaked with appropriate grammar), I'd just like to make an observation.
Many cyber moons ago only a handful of people I knew on the net spoke in third-person rhetoric: Yaxlich and Prometheus.
And let me tell you, when Yaxlich, Yaxlich and Yaxlich speaks - people listen! Likewise, the enigmatic writer of cryptic riddles and poet laureate of my cyberworld -Prometheus.
Yaxlich - who is known for putting his underwear in the refrigerator - was a bit of a shock to me at first. It's not everyday you run across a blog with a picture of male undies begging for a donation in the 'About Me' section. Come to think of it, that sounds a bit like one of my bachelors.....but I digress. Read Pant Aid. You won't soon forget it, my friends.
But then one day Yaxlich started to talk about books.
I forgot all about underwear.

In Books Are the New Black he writes,
"The one thing that has please Yaxlich beyond everything is how passionate people are about books. For a long time he thought he was somewhat anally retentive about his books and how much they meant to him. He is so glad that other people understand and appreciate good writing.

Third-person writers are brilliant. DUH!


Folks tend to pay attention when talking outside one's numero uno self. And I don't mean like the lady in When Rabbit Howls.
Pharaohs spat tres verbiage. People listened.
Prince spoke purple pronouns. People listened and paid big bucks.

Bill Clinton used speech particles in an interesting way - the he said/she said scenario was fraught with frivolity (and trivial pursuit of another kind). The definition of is changed forever - but that's another story altogether.
 
Let's move on - and on - and on.
Prometheus, over at the Moving Finger is having a bad day. His 50th post is melancholy and he is complaining of blogstipation. Mimi hopes this post will cheer him up.

Here's a snippet from the post Prometheus wrote about the infamous book meme.
"Prometheus doesn't want any of his friends to be left out so he tags all that read this. Can't help it. Prometheus has always been this way. The Association of Genies avoids Prometheus like a lead-sealed bottle for his first wish is for a umptillion more wishes."
 
Kindness is always in first-person, second-person or third-person fashion. Si?

I like this quote from Paul Davidson's website about why he chose to write a post in third person.
'But Paul Davidson doesn’t do it because he’s got a split personality. He does it because he likes to see what other people will say to him when he refers to himself in the third person. Usually, when Paul Davidson is speaking in the third person, he comes in contact with three distinct responses. There’s the ignorers, the embracers and the inflamers.'

I don't give a rat's petticoat.

I like it when Y and P speak in third person loveliness.
Even when their posts are short it's a powerful thing. I don't even mind that I misspell Y-c-x-h-a-i-l constantly or that I had to look up the mythological significance of Prometheus.
These guys rock. All six of them.

I love this quote from Yaxlich's post about books.
"The English language is a beautiful thing. Yaxlich asks that we do not ever forget that."
 

So what makes us think we can slink into the shoes of one Y, Y, Y and P, P, P? There's definitely more to them than meets the third eye.

Have you ever seen two such interesting characters in the same sphere at once?
I think not.

I hope this doesn't spawn another meme...er, Mimi.
Maybe Mimi means meme after all. Maybe I should ask those triplicate bloggers from England and India what Mimi memes..I mean means.

Yaxlich will ask Yaxlich and Yaxlich will tell us what Yaxlich said.
I like the sound of that. Now if I could just learn to spell them.
Who knows?
I may even make an underwear donation.
Third-person incognito, of course.

Sunday Blog Chatter - Calling All Memes!

Tag We're It!

The Book Meme is on fire!! I've read so many great posts lately in response to the book meme that was started by Yaxlich? Rhyss? Adam???

I started to make a list of favorites for myself and then realized that others are probably doing the same thing. In fact, they're ALL favorites. I thought it would be helpful to create a link in my sidebar for convenience.
I've created BOOK MEME CENTRAL and MOVIE MEME CENTRAL for that purpose.
Still a work in progress but will soon have links to all the great memes I've traced back through cyberspace.

I'll need your help as I go along. If you find a meme that needs to be included in my blog, please send it along to me. This will take a while but well worth the effort.
Any questions? Good!
Let's READ!!

P.S. While I'm surfing, check out these awesome memes I read recently. Gale Lizza Reeholio (9/21/06 post) Peg Yaxlich

Mimi's Meme

I've been honorarily tagged by the beautiful and intelligent Lizza from the Philippines. She eloquently wrote about her love of books and I was inspired.

I hope my answers will send you scrambling for the nearest Barnes and Noble. I have now added several new book titles to my own list, thanks to Lizza and others. Can't wait to read the other four she tagged!
Mimi is working on the meme.

So many books, so little time.

LonelyGirl15 Doesn't Exist

Or does she?

According to the New Zealand Herald, Jessica Rose of LonelyGirl15 fame, an actress from down under residing in Los Angeles, is surprised by all the hoopla.

Apparently, lonelygirl is lonely no more.

All that angst abruptly ended when the scandal broke last week and girl15 had to fess up. This time her confessional was real.

I think.

Here's the original YouTube profile for lovely LonelyGirl15 in case you haven't met her. You'll be amazed by the stats. Everyday blogging pales in comparison to these numbers.

And have you ever wondered who LonelyGirl14 is? 13? Will LonelyGirl16 be crowned successor? Just what does it take to become a coveted lonely girl?

Evidently, a camera, a script, and an empty bedroom in Beverly Hills.

And didn't her fans notice that her bed was always made? How many real sixteen-year-old girls do that?

According to this ABCNews, CNN, MSNBC, article and a FoxNews story, the mystery was solved by a few computer savvy fans and a hunch.

Miss Rose will undoubtedly be loved and hated by cyber geeks everywhere; nonetheless, she has now earned a spot in Wikipedia (the online encyclopedia), will continue her video acting, and undoubtedly land a movie offer from the fiasco.

Not bad for a struggling actress in LA first time up to bat.

Question is.....will she be able to convince the fans she lost-who felt betrayed by the deception - that she has redeeming qualities as a person - not just an actress.

Read the links above to get the full story of how 3-minute snippets of daily dialogue through a cheap video camera became a mega cyber hit in the first place.

The upstart movie makers behind the small production claim "new art form."

Not sure I'd go that far. What do you think?
Do video-blogs an art form make?

Change is Good

Sometimes change is good; sometimes it's just change.

As you know, I've been thinking about and planning a new format for my blog. Besides lots of technical tricks I'd like to try with the template, I've wanted to bring more focus to the site and still leave room to blog about whatever strikes my fancy.
Can I have both? We'll see.

This format is not set in stone and all of it won't be implemented the first week, but it's an outline I'm going to try to work with. If after a few weeks it doesn't feel right or isn't flowing with my writing style, I'll switch it up or scrap it altogether. I'm sure there will be mods. A lot will depend on reactions from my readers, and I'm counting on good, honest, constructive reaction/criticism from you.


So, if you read Mimi Writes and want to comment, please do so.

Monday: I Smell a Story

Tuesday: Karaoke Blog

One blogger submits an article - incognito or not - and may rant about whatever as long as it's not offensive, profane, or indecent OR I will interview/review/showcase a well-known blogger/website, as well as those deserving sites that need more attention. If you'd like to submit something for Tuesday's Karaoke Blog please send via email by Friday of the previous week. If you'd like to be interviewed/reviewed/showcased, please contact me one week in advance to set it up.

Wednesday: open

Thursday: What in the world is going on?

Friday: The DUH Factor(y)

Saturday: Mimi Morphs (Stepping out of my comfort zone)
One day each week I've pledged to do something I've never done before - but always secretly wanted to - and write a story about my experience. The transformation will appear on Saturdays.

Sunday: Blog Chatter
Unusual blogosphere sightings, memorable blogs, links and comments about blogging in general, technical finds, anything I find blogworthy.

Have a great week!

Labor Pains

After much deliberation I've come to a somewhat ragged conclusion about my blog birthin'. Having recently re-visited Gone With The Wind (the novel, not the Hollywood version) just let me say, "We need a doctor. I don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' blogs!"
 
No, my favorite author is not Margaret Mitchell; it's Hawthorne, as in Nathaniel. Why? He gives me permission to write extremely long sentences and insert commas where I darn well please. But, as they say, 'opposites attract' and I'm counting on that chemistry to spark my format for Dating Profile (my alter-ego site) and this blog and a new idea I have for it's evolution. We shall see.

I'm not a Civil War buff and not even a huge Mitchell fan, or classic movie fanatic, but Scarlett does fascinate me, much like Hawthorne's Hester.
One a saint, the other a wench.

If you haven't read these cheerful classics in a while - or simply forgot to put them in your beach bag - here's a review. You might want to take a quick refresher course here and here and here.

While most people only remember the "sinful woman" in The Scarlet Letter and the dark side of Hawthorne's prose, let's not forget that his masterpiece, was first and foremost, a romance.

Likewise, Rhett's famous "frankly" line in Gone With the Wind ("Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.") is what most people associate with this classic. That's a shame. There are endless correlations between Hawthorne's Hester and Mitchell's

Scarlett - at least I think so - not the least of which happens to be Miss O'Hara's first name and the title of Hawthorne's work - minus one T.

I never know, when I sit down to write, what will fall out of my pen. There may be philosophical days in which a bit of Hawthorne brood takes over into serious discussion in my posts - but I hope they will always be relevant - and entertaining. Maybe downright silly.
At least that's my plan.
In the event that I err in my assessments (and I most certainly will), I will rely on Bazza - literary genius that he is - to correct me.

For instance, Hester wore the scarlet red letter A on her garment while Miss O'Hara wore her breasts on her garment (or outside her garment, I should say). Don't you remember that fabulous line from Mammy

"You can't show your bosoms before 3 o'clock."?
Hester sure could have used her advice.

Let's face it. Mammy was the only character in Gone With the Wind who had any sense. Everybody else wanted to chase corsets, wage war, pick cotton and play poker.

Had Scarlett O'Hara been given the tasks of sewing a degrading vowel to her chest, she, unlike Hester, who stitched it herself with gold trim, would have simply summoned one of her servants to do it for her. Moreover, had she been asked to stand for three hours on a scaffold holding a baby as Mistress Prynne did, she would have used the gallows as a makeshift swing for the baby and took bets in the crowd for one last dance on the platform.
What kind of person names a baby Bonnie Blue anyway?

Such a vixen, that Scarlett.

Furthermore, if her skimmy had been publicly eyed that fateful day, as Hester's was, and asked to reveal the name of the man she committed the awful sin with (as Hester did not) she most certainly would have rattled off the names quite readily, Confederate and Union, farmhand and Governor alike, and then would have saluted their wives with a toss of her ponytail. (Have you noticed how my sentence structure is becoming Hawthornish??! Spooky.) Anyway.....

And so, ladies and gentlemen, cyber-friends and flesh-and-bone-friends-who-will-not-reveal-my-identity, I shall call upon these two icons of femininity and scandal to help me de-bunk the mystery that is male.

Can you imagine a conversation between Rhett and Hester or Scarlett and Dimmesdale? Might be revealing. What if Hester had been banished to Tara and Mammy had to nurture the sin child? I dare say she'd have some tidbits to talk about in the hen house. Can you envision a more appropriate place for Scarlett than in a Puritan colony?

I think not.

Cancel your therapist appointments, throw away those worn out copies of Mars vs Venus! No need for such fuss. We all know that Hester's love for Dimmesdale was the much sought after real thing - as was Scarlett's love for herself. Miss O'Hara, I'd say, could have written any one of those silly dating profiles or at the very least, understood them. And don't you think it's time I cut a little slack for those wayward dating guys I'm encountering?

Well......let's not get carried away.

Let's imagine a literary fiasco.
I think it's time.
The contractions have started.
I'll be back later.
Got some birthin' to do.

City Bloggers

I recently did a Google search on the word "blogging" and specifically, "who are bloggers." It's fascinating to note the current discussions on the web about the impact of blogging across the land. It's not just a buzz word anymore. Journalists, political factions and industries are taking bloggers more and more seriously.

I hope it doesn't come down to government regulations and blogging restrictions in general. Free speech is still the glue that holds it all together and should be.

Here are a few links to sites that hosts regional bloggers. You have your Chicago bloggers your NYC bloggers and your DC bloggers complete with directories by subway line location and mailing lists to boot.
You might find this interesting. I know I did. There are some great blogs listed, too!

Birth of a Blog

Some of my favorite blogs are evolving. 

  Bloggers are talking about and evaluating the makings of an outstanding blog and how to maintain the flow of their own space. Justin (More Cowbell) has a brand new intriguing template. He'd like your opinion. Check it out.Bobby Griffin (Bestest Blog of All Time)- a guy many of us can thank for the attention we've received after winning his Bestest Blog of the Day award - has revamped his format by posting a new theme each day written by guest bloggers. I'll be a guest blogger soon as well as Julie (Flip This Body)and Morgen's kickoff feature this week with Morgen Mondays.

Technical difficulties have plagued even the great Bobby Griffin this past weekend. We all wish him well in working the kinks out. He deserves a lot of credit for attempting to maintain his par excellent weblog and teaching school each day. Not an easy task!

Gale Martin (GEM'S BLOG) contemplated recently the wisdom of posting so many pictures with her posts. Fellow blogger friends encouraged her to continue enhancing her blog with photos. She has a knack for picking just the right one to complement her strong content and wit.
The format works well for her writing style.

RHYS Postlewaight (A World of Bloggers) is due back anytime after taking a short hiatus to travel and bring back some of those awesome pictures of his. We can't wait to see them!Another great blog with fabulous visual merit is Bazza's Blog (Normal Life). A writer from United Kingdom with a wealth of literary knowledge to share and an eye for beautiful landscapes, art and words, his daily posts are intellectually stimulating and delightful. If you haven't discovered Bazza's blog you absolutely must visit! Note: Bazza's original blog has evolved into a new blog called To Discover Ice. Check it out.

So you see.....blogs are evolving and morphing into even better presentations. We're learning the visual/technical tricks of the trade as well.

I've made a list of my own strengths and weaknesses, experimenting with template changes in a separate blog just for that purpose and thinking about a new format for Mimi Writes. Trying to streamline the blog writing process in order to have time for my novel and my life without losing my mind! (I regularly fall asleep at the keyboard).One thing I've learned from writing Dating Profile of the Day is to keep it simple. People like to know what to expect from your blog and don't want too many surprises - especially if your blog has a solo theme. Bobby Griffin mentioned having a FOCUS and how important that is to keep readers coming back. Reminds me of the magazine "Reader's Digest" They've had the same format for eons and we love knowing what to expect and can be assured we'll always be entertained.

I've found that to be true. My format for Dating Profile has basically remained the same for the last 83 posts and the site is growing, picking up new visitors daily. I may change the look but not the premise, except for adding a Scarlett Sundays feature. In the blog world, remember this: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

I'm going to heed the advice of some sage bloggers out there who've decided to stick to a daily theme instead of coming up with something unrelated to talk about each day. Those of use who are not true "personal journals" (ie: baby pictures, family reporting, mundane ramblings just for the sake of journaling) and would like to reach a wider audience and promote our writing/art/photos might do well to find at least one focus for one day of the week and stick to it.
Lizza (I Am Woman, See Me Blog!) has done well with this with her Saturday blog, which I really enjoy. She has a talent for finding and describing good blogs. She also comments faithfully on the blogs she reads.

I've decided to add a feature to Mimi Writes in which I'll choose one day (not sure which yet) to actually go out and DO something I've never done before and then write about it. This will get me out of the blogger's seat for awhile and force me to get a fresh perspective. Something I might do would be to simply wear a ridiculous (or frilly) hat out in public one afternoon, or visit a different denominational place of worship on Sunday, or conduct an impromptu survey at the mall as people pass. The wheels are spinning. Stay tuned for Mimi Morphs!
I think it's important to list your strengths and weaknesses. I'm particularly interested in finding wisdom and humor in mundane happenings, unusual news stories, well-written websites, discovering new talents and fascinating people - and not unsung heroes necessarily - maybe just unsung everyday people.

So those are my thoughts on blogging for today. If you know of any really cool sites that offer template help, graphic designs, add-ons and would like to share, please write!

There's never a shortage of good blogs out there. I'll keep searching and evolving as I go along. Hope to see you there.

One Banana, Please

*From the true story files of Mimi Pencil Skirt*

The greeters know me by name at the local Walmart. They don't even ask to see a receipt when I leave. They just pass me on with a nod and a wave. Small town luxury. No one wants to inspect my buggy to see what I might be hiding in the sunglasses case or egg carton (not that I would, just speculating)....... so why should I have to endure the third degree during checkout?

I've started using the self-checkout stands now just so I won't have to converse with the baggers.
I know. That's un-American.
But I have a beef with those insolent grocery boys. They alone are responsible for the midlife crisis that began when I turned thirty-one. I'll never forget those brutal words as long as I live.

"Would you like me to put that in the back seat or the trunk, ma'am?"
Gulp.

I turned around to see who he was talking to.
Yep.

It was me alright.
I'd been ma'amed.

I'd rather hunt for bar codes on the bottoms of watermelons myself and drag it across the beep-beep thingy than play 20 questions with Gladys the Checker. I wasn't so lucky last week.

"Please rescan item. Item not found. Unidentified item in bag. Please wait for assistance."
Steel doors slamming.
Search lights blazing.
Woman trying to steal a banana.
Lock down Walmart.
Hide your children.

"Can I help you?" smirked Gladys.
"This thing won't let me scan my banana."
"Did you weigh them first?"
"Of course I did. I've never had this problem before."
"Well, let me have them. I'll try it for you."

I hand over the fruit.

"This is it?"
"You asked for the banana, right?"
"Where are the REST of your bananas, ma'am?"

 

Clerk sweating.
Beady-eyed suspicion. Reaching for the walkie-talkie.......

"That's it." I said. "I swear. Search me. I don't have any more bananas!"

"You gave me one banana."

Sherlock is sharp.

"I only want one." 
 Is that a crime?? Don't I have the right to buy just one piece of fruit if I want? My banana isn't being impolite or anything. I bought ONE watermelon and you didn't question that. One tube of toothpaste, one pair of pantyhose, one loaf of bread....what's a lonely banana to you?

"Well, ma'am.....people usually buy more than one banana.".

Buttons pushed. Scanner fixed. Gladys disappears but camps out nearby watching girl with solo banana. Closely.
Now I ask you. What could be more embarrassing than having to explain to a perfect stranger why you must have a single banana in the middle of a store full of locals who want to see the prissy lady dragged off in chains?
Not much.

Unless you forget your Visa card.

"Uh. Excuse me."
Yeah?
"I seem to have misplaced my credit card (found later in between the seats of my car) and I have to write a check. Could you help me, please?'

Oh, it's YOU. Banana girl.

I write the check. She checks the check. I'm good to go. "Phone number please?"

Unless George Clooney is standing nearby Mimi does NOT give out her phone number in public places. Ever.
I'm theoretically, philosophically, constitutionally, fundamentally OPPOSED to giving out my personal information to complete strangers.
"I don't have a phone."

 
And pigs fly.

"You don't have a phone?"
"Some people don't, you know."
"Can I have your phone number please?"
" I told you. I don't have a phone."
"You don't have a phone?"'
"I already told you and the other lady. No, I DO NOT HAVE A PHONE."

They looked at me liked I'd just landed in a spaceship. They exchange surly nods and scrambled for the keyboard.

"Let's see......we have a phone number for you in our system. Is it 555-5555?"

"If you HAD a phone number already why did you ask me?"
"Just procedure, ma'am. It's our policy........Is this your phone number?"
"Well......it used to be."

I'm such a bad liar.

"So.....glared Gladys.....this is a disconnected number?"
"No, I changed my number. But if you wish, you can just keep that one in your system."

I mean really .What are they gonna do?
Call the FBI to verify my identity?
She has no idea what to do.
Manager is summoned.
Greeters are forming a posse.
Gladys is not happy.

Neither am I. My banana is turning brown.

These gals should work interrogation operations for the Army.

"Do you have a current phone number?" asked the manager.

OK! OK! I'll talk!
"Yes" I confessed. "Yes, I do."

Waiting.....waiting.....fingers poised to punch.
"But......I don't give it out."

Gladys to Manager. "She says she don't give it out."
 
Uh huh.
By now, I have decided that come hell or high water they ain't getting my phone number.
I asked, "Why would I go to all the trouble of getting an unlisted phone number and then give it to YOU to write on a check for all to see?"
"Well......we have to have a phone number."

"OK. Fine. I'll give you a phone number. ......Let's see....How about this one....587-9838....no, that's too hard to remember....how about....540-3333."

She is not amused.

"Are you going to give me a phone number or not?"

"I just gave you two!"

"We need a phone number, ma'am.""OK" I said. "If you insist."

Sighs of relief. Greeters are high-fiving and hoisting up their belt loops. We've broken the crazy banana lady.

"I'll make one up."
And I did.

Shaking her head, she punched the fake number into her sacred system and I left with my smushed fruit and bruised checkbook. Really.
What's a girl gotta do to get some privacy around here?

Where were YOU on 9/11/01?

 Remembering 9/11

I started a public forum yesterday inviting readers to leave comments and memories about their experiences on September 11, 2001; specifically, where they were and what they were doing on that terrible day. The response has been wonderful and uplifting. Please take the time to read comments from around the world.
Scroll below to read Saturday's post/comments and express your thoughts.

The invitation stands throughout the day

Monday, September 11, 2006

Couric and Logan. Ya Gotta Be Impressed.

I'm watching, as we speak, Katie Couric's debut anchor in the most coveted newscast chair in the known world. As remarkable as this achievement is - though not surprising, given her intelligence and professionalism - my congratulations will not include phrases that whisper and insinuate that a human being of her gender has somehow managed to fiinnnnnallllly make it to the top. And I refuse to shout 'You go, girl."

Oh please.

In my book, Katie Couric's achievements have more to do with her willingness to be open and self-effacing with the public - in spite of what some may call "fluff" - than her journalism background and worldly intelligence. Those qualities are obvious; she's a woman, she's smart, get over it.
I like her warmth.
Don't you remember my previous treatise on vulnerability??
I rest my case.
It's a lovely attribute. Brava, Katie.

There is another journalist/reporter I've been watching on the CBS News/60 Minutes for some time. A remarkable young woman named Lara Logan, who reported the lead story tonight on Couric's first watch. Not only is she stunningly brilliant (and just plain stunning), she can be seen most days traipsing around the Iraqi border wearing traditional Iraqi garb and whispering into a camera mic. I've watched her report with bombs bursting behind her, mortar flying around, machine guns hammering and standing face-to-face with armed groups of extremists who hate foreigners.

While I should be digesting the political ramifications of her stories (and I do........eventually), what I'm really thinking is "how is her mother handling this?" or "If she were my daughter I'd disguise myself as a kidnapper and abscond her to safer ground somewhere with a good stern 'What were you THINKING child?!' lecture as we rode off on our borrowed donkey, or 'how does she take a bath?? Isn't she afraid?'
You know, the important stuff.

Just as I was about to finish my research and the story, I accidentally stumbled across Katie Couric's FIRST BLOG that launched just today (with a little help from her friends) Yes! It is true. Bloggers are taking over the world.

Now, some of you may have already noticed that CBS had a BLOGS tab at the top of their webpage but I'd never actually seen it before. So, of course, I had to welcome her to the blogosphere on this monumental day in history (like the 459 before me - although not all of them were kind) so I posted a comment.
Before you break out the GoGirl Champagne bottle, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, the comment feature post actually worked on my computer and posted before the screen froze again.

The bad news.....the font was all scrunched together in my schizophrenic browser and I could hardly see what I was typing. The blog launch is new and there were no edit options.
Before I could take back the dreaded PUBLISH click and remove that unneeded apostrophe dangling in the first word - you heard me - not the second, or the third, or even the thousandth - the first - and just as I muttered 'that word does not look right' - it was gone.

Signed Sincerely, Mimi Lenox.
It could only happen to me.

You can stop laughing now, my friends.

OK. OK. Get a hold of yourself. On with the story.
I personally think my grammar faux pas was a warning wink from the cyber gods and cosmic payback for posting all those 'terrible speller stories' on Dating Profile of the Day. Have I learned my lesson? Will I write a kinder gentler spoof site on dating?

Not on your life.
But I will fix my browser and get new glasses.

Because any day now - did you notice how I called her by her first name? (thank goodness I spelled her name right) -
I know she will surely contact me for a cyber-chat. We'll talk about getting our nails done and grocery coupons and blind dates. You know, the important stuff.

Who cares if my apostrophes escaped and landed in the wrong spot! She won't mind.
Will she?

Good Guys and Goodbyes: 4 News stories that made me cry

Andre Agassi's emotional farewell to his beloved fans was a love affair to behold. The tennis superstar blew kisses to the crowd and took the microphone to bid a heartfelt goodbye to the game he loved so much.
"The scoreboard said I lost today," Agassi told a crowd of more than 23,000. "But what the scoreboard doesn't say is what it is I have found. Over the last 21 years, I have found loyalty. You have pulled for me on the court and also in life.

"I found inspiration. You have willed me to succeed, sometimes even in my lowest moments, and I've found generosity. You have given me your shoulders to stand on to reach for my dreams, dreams I could never have reached without you. Over the last 21 years, I have found you, and I will take you and the memory of you with me for the rest of my life."

Agassi created a charter school for at-risk boys in Las Vegas, one of many endeavors that make a difference off the court and has become one of the most successful charitable foundations in sports.
Brava, Agassi.

I was particularly moved by a CBS 60 Minutes story last evening about a small group of unassuming paramedics from New York City who took it upon themselves to travel to Pakistan. Why? They just wanted to help. Period.
Read Bob Simon's piece on the paramedics in Pakistan. You'll be proud to know these good guys.

Ed Bradley's piece in the same 60 Minutes time slot brought out the hankies. With a smile that melts any mother's heart Tiger Woods talks about his passion for kids and walks through the opening of his newest educational endeavor, the Tiger Woods Foundation. Read about this young man's legacy in the making.

Of course, the death of Steve Irwin is stunningly tragic, a young man with a bright future and a passion for creatures of the wild.
 He will be missed.

Australia's Crocodile Man Has Died

So sad to hear of the death of Steve Irwin, 44, known as the Crocodile Hunter. Apparently killed by a stingray earlier today while filming a documentary in Queensland, he was admired and loved as an entertainer and tireless promoter of Australia. He is survived by American-born wife Terri, an 8-year-old-daughter and 3-year-old son.

In an article by David Williams of the Sydney Morning Herald (smh.com.au Sept. 4, 2006) Ross Coleman, at the Institute of Marine Science in Sydney is quoted as saying ...it was "quite rare" for someone to die from contact with a stingray and he couldn't recall hearing of another incident. Click here for full article by David Williams and more on Steve Irwin's legendary life.

Who Needs a Dating Site?

Happy Sunday to friends near and far. I've decided to post a story from my sister site, Dating Profile of the Day, as today's post for Mimi Writes. It's really a cross-over piece. I hope you get a chuckle and enjoy this beautiful day wherever you are.
To my friends in the states - Happy Labor Day weekend!
It's called
Who Needs a Dating Site?

Sometimes inspiration springs from the strangest places. As it just did for me. Before I tell you my deep dark secret I should preface the impending scandal you're about to read with a little history. You should know that I've been - sadly - on the rebound. Royally dumped. Yes, it's true.

I'm in love with the paperclip guy.
 (No, not the man from Canada who bought a house with a paperclip. He was only impersonating the real thing).
You know.... that cute little animated helpful stud that pops up in your Microsoft Word document? Well, to make a short story long....I was writing a story one day minding my own business and he just pops into view, unannounced. Quite frankly, I was irritated.

"What would you like to do?" he asked.

"Can't you see I'm writing a story? Now leave me alone!"
He kept batting at me with those bug-eyed baby blues. It was pretty sexy. Hmmm.....I had to think carefully. Gee. I don't usually get this much attention when I'm conjugating verbs and such.
So I typed...Hello......"

I've never seen a guy move that fast. Frantically researching and jumping up and down with a yellow light bulb he replied (nearly hurting himself batting those cute little paperclip eyes)..
"I don't know what you mean. Please rephrase your question."

OK, I'll rephrase.
"Hello there," I ventured.
Same response. "I don't know what you mean. Please rephrase the question."
A guy could learn a lot from Clippy.

"Hello there, Mr. Stud," I typed, holding my breath and scrambling for my makeup pouch.
By now he's feeling the chemistry and obviously playing hard to get. This guy never quits. I decided to reset his tips. That should help.
After a couple of wild spins he totally discombobulated himself, completely fell apart, then put himself together again faster than Humpty Dumpty. I was smitten.

We fell in love that very day. Right there in the Microsoft window.

"What would you like to do?"

Refreshing my lipstick I typed, "How do you do?"
Nothing.
"How do you say hello to a stud like yourself?"
Nothing.

Sigh.
Such conversation.
Such depth.
Such humility.

Have you seen that sleek paperclip move he does with the lower part of his clip? AMAZING.

And we'd still be together today if I hadn't had a sudden case of writer's blog (er...block) and neglected my little dancing man. He dumped me.
I guess I just wasn't his type.

I'm sure you're wondering what this has to do with Bachelor #54. Remember him? He's looking for a girlfriend with cable TV.
As usual, I posted the story and forgot to use spellchecker first. When I went back later to do it, the strangest thing happened.

If you'll recall, B54 is a self-proclaimed redneck who saw the light while listening to Jeff Foxworthy and is in lust with his remote control. He likes shooting pool, playing darts and riding little boy toys in the dirt. I had so hoped his pool included a jacuzzi but no such luck. I went on my merry way to the medicine cabinet and started to shut down my computer until the spell check horror ruined my sleep.

Checking......checking for spelling.......it's spinning....
The first wrong word that pops up is tv.
What's wrong with tv??!
I look in the "Replace With" box and see TV.
Why, of course.
Everybody knows that tv should be replaced with tv.
Let's move on, shall we?

he

He?! I misspelled he??
Oh......should be capital H. Ignore. Click.

Then, with the memory of my darling little P.C. pookie still in my fuzzy brain, I read the word jackass.

I am NOT kidding you.

I've been sabotaged.
Who knew there was an underground love triangle in cyberspace? Lurking just beneath my keyboard all the while - and probably yours too! - the news of our breakup had spread through the ranks of Spellcheckers near and far. My little clippy had broken the code and come to claim his girl.

But I have a confession to make.
Another one.  Clip wasn't even on my radar screen at the moment.
I was intrigued with the audacity of Mr. Spell Himself. (sorry Clip) 

I always go for those literary types.
Knock. Knock.

"You want me to replace the sacred capitalized H with jackass??!
Hey! Anybody in there??
Don't you know it's Sunday? You're not supposed to cuss on Sunday. I'm running a family friendly zone here wiseguy, now watch it!"

The nerve.

Clip might have been obstinate but he was never rude.

Well, there was only one thing to do.
Time to check again.
My choices were
REPLACE. REPLACE WITH. IGNORE. IGNORE ALL. LEARN. FINISH.

The first word that pops up in the Replace With box is........as God as my witness......REMATCH. (suggestion for remotes)

So you wanna play dirty, eh? I should have known that while I was pining away he was loading his arsenal with urban words from Wikipedia. I was soon to discover who the real man was.
And what a match.

Pookie, he spelled with a snarl, should be replaced with bookie.

You reprobate! Look that word up and smoke it spell boy. Anybody who would cuss on Sunday has to be a criminal.

Dumpty.
We suggest you replace it with dumped.
You really know how to hurt a girl, don't ya.

The next word chosen by the evil Spell Checker to check was simply paperclip. Are you ready for this?

I can't look.

There were no suggestions.
There he was. Just sitting smugly in the word box not saying a word. As usual, he made a bold statement.

"I do not want to be replaced."

Sigh.
Blush.
WOW.

My hero.

I've been wrong all along. I knew there was a man for me on the Internet. It's just like my grandma always said. There's more than one clip in the queue...or something like that. Or was it You can't see the hedges for the clippers?? Well....I'll think of it later. Right now, I'm planning a wee dinner for two.

BUZZ! BUZZ!

Go away. Can't you see I'm trying to write a story here?

There's been a mistake, mademoiselle. (You can say that again)
Our humble apologies. We did not mean to insert the profane expression "jackass" after all. Some kind of computer glitch we're guessing. One never knows how these things happen. Probably a worm. A virus maybe. We, here at Microsoft, sincerely hope we haven't ruined your Sunday. Have a nice day, ma'am........"

"But, wait! What about my pookie? What have you done with him? Where did he go? He didn't mean to infiltrate your old speller. He was just giving Mr. Spell -the brazen hunk that he is - a run for his vocabulary. ".......!"

Poor Pookie.

"And one more thing, Miss Mimi. The word that we originally wanted to replace was jacuzzi, not he. Just in case you're interested, our replacement word should have been Jacques.
Good day, ma'am."

Yea, right. Whatever. I'll never get to see my clipman again. I wasn't REALLY interested in SpellMan and his profanities. He's not my type at all. I just miss my..........my.....

Did he say Jacques?