Phone Calls and Fowls ~ Monday Mimisms

I'm thinking of two men this morning. One of them in Heaven and the other far removed from my life. The first held me on the day I was born; the second I could not hold. 

Today is the first day of school for Beans. Fifth grade! How is this possible? And yet he is bright and loving and opinionated and full of himself. Watch out, World. This boy is bold. I wouldn't change a thing about him. He has a teasing sense of humor (in the "gotcha!" kind of way) Reminds me of my dad, whose day was never complete without telling a corny joke. Now I realize that most times he just wanted to make me laugh (I rarely obliged) but it didn't stop him from raucously laughing out loud at himself. I miss that laugh. When he was in the hospital in his final days, he told the nurse that he did NOT want chicken on his lunch tray. (He hated chicken) She asked..."Whyyyyy won't you eat chicken? It's good for you." His eyes got huge and he looked at her like she'd lost her mind. He raised up in the bed and yelled, "Cause it's foul!!"
Wait for it. I heard the laugh. The entire cardiac unit from the end of one hallway to the other heard the laugh. Even in the dreaded hospital hours. 

Daddy in his shop..."tinkering"

Which brings me back to the first day of school.
 I am missing a phone call today. Every day for thirteen years of the twenty-two years I taught middle grades, he would call me on the first day of school. He wanted to see how my classes were and if all went well. And then....wait for it.....the "joke" would come. "You're STILL in middle school, Sis?" Ha ha! "Yes, Daddy, I'm STILL in middle school, but this time I'm the teacher, Daddy (wink wink). And then resigning to the routine I'd always say,  "I'm never going to get out of middle school! Not ever!!" And then we would laugh.   He's been gone for thirteen years and I so wish he would call to see if I'm still in middle school. 
And even though his teasing put me off at times, I know it was his way of connecting with me (his sullen serious child) and all things told this side of eternity..I wouldn't change a thing. 

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Saturday 9 ~ What's Love Got to Do with It?

Thanks to The Gal for hosting this meme.  I always learn something from Gal's meme questions. She sets them up so well.What's Love Got to Do with It? (1984)Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here. 
What's Love Got to Do with It is also the title of Tina Turner's film biography, which tells of Tina's escape from her abusive, controlling husband, Ike. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Spread the word that help is available. 
1. The video was shot around New York City in spring. Kids are seen jumping rope. Were you good at jump rope? Has it ever been part of your workout routine as an adult?NO and NO and NO

2. In real life, Tina Turner played basketball for her school. Were you good at team sports?
Yes. My dad coached Little League baseball, men's softball league and a girl's softball team. We were always at the ballfield. I could run like the wind in those days with my pigtails flying. I remember him picking me up from the bleachers fast asleep and carrying me to the car. I've done my homework many times on baseball bleachers or in a dugout.
3. In the video, Tina Turner wears a little black dress topped with a denim jacket. That jacket is a fashion staple 36 years later. Do you own a denim jacket?
I do not own a denim jacket. But I know someone who owns a really cool one! Does that count?


4. Tina's first marriage, to Ike Turner, was a painful one. Her second marriage, to German music executive Erwin Bach has been far more supportive. This has been a blessing, since Tina has had serious health problems in recent years. Do you have any medical/dental appointments scheduled?
At the beginning of the pandemic in March, I broke a perfectly good crown biting into a new chocolate recipe I'd created. Too much crunch on the bottom. Do I look happy to you?? Because of the pandemic, they no longer considered this an "emergency" even though I was miserable. I had to wait months to get it fixed (thankfully did!) which started me down a whole rabbit hole of appointments for other things and on and on and on it goes. It never ends! The worst part is dealing with the precautions before you even get in the dreaded chair. I can't believe all this happened to me during a pandemic when the LAST place you want to be is in a dental chair. I. was. terrified. to. even. go. in. Breathe in...breathe out.....breathe in......breathe out....It will be over soon. I hope!
5. Tina met Erwin at Heathrow Airport in 1986. He was there to help her prepare for her London performances. They immediately liked one another, but didn't become romantically involved until months later and were surprised to find themselves falling in love. Have you ever had a romantic relationship that crept up on you?
Yes. And maybe one day I can tell that story here. But not today.

6. The Rolling Stones' Keith Richards referred to Tina as his "favorite aunt." Is there anyone who isn't a relative of yours by blood but you refer to as aunt, uncle, brother, sister, etc?
I have two best friends who are closer to me than my own family. We call each other "sister" all the time. I love these ladies dearly.
7. Former President George W. Bush is also a big Tina Turner fan, and has praised her for having "the most famous legs in show business." What do you believe is your best physical feature?
Well. At the risk of sounding braggy....maybe my hair. That sounded braggy.

8. At home, Tina often doesn't always play music or TV because she appreciates quiet as much as music. What about you? Do you enjoy quiet?
I adore quiet. But my music needs to be loud.
9. Random question: On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being "very lazy" and 10 being "very productive," what number are you?
Definitely a 10.And on a sidenote I'll tell you a story. I've been triggered, I guess, by the word lazy, which doesn't fit my lifestyle or my vocabulary.It got back to me, recently, that one of my now-former friends found out that I've been using grocery pickup since the beginning of the pandemic. Oh, the scandal! I'm diabetic. I'm careful. I'm not taking chances. Not that I should have to explain. She scoffs at social distancing rules, doesn't wear a mask and laughs at those who do, goes to crowded events like that's a bright idea, and thinks anyone who takes these precautions is a "sheeple" (whatever the hell that means). She remarked to someone that my grocery pickup habit is "just pure laziness." It didn't hurt as much as it infuriated me. Then I just felt sorry for her. How could someone I've known for years be so ignorant? So lacking in empathy and common sense? So cruel? So politically blinded?  If I ever see her again I'm going to pretend I don't know her. Because I don't.    God help us all.

Just. wear. the. mask.

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Black Widows and Trouble

Today we are participating in a Sunday Stealing meme.Join in.

01 What is the worst nickname that anyone has ever called you? It only takes one episode or mistake to forever be known for that one incident. One Christmas I made a new recipe called Peanut Butter Pork Chops for a family gathering. It was SO bad that I was teased about it forever and a day. Ha ha ha ha ha..... Thereafter, when I would arrive for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner carrying homemade dishes, my dad would always say,  "Here comes Blanche!" as I walked through the door.  Why Blanche?   Blanche is the name of a woman who is still on death row  for poisoning her boyfriends and husbands with tainted homemade goods in the 1990s. She was known as the Black Widow Killer.  I was known as the daughter who couldn't cook.


02  Have you got a favorite flower? Ohhhh....you said......

03  Do you add a sauce, ketchup or other artificial flavorings to your food?
No. Ketchup ruins everything but french fries.

04 Describe yourself using only words that begin with the letter 'T'.  

05 What is/was your lover's pet name for you Mims
06 What is your least favorite color? I really hate orange.
07 Who did you vote for in the last election, and did they win? I really hate orange.
08 What is/was your grandfathers’ names? Not his name but...I recently discovered that Benjamin Franklin lives in our family tree.
09 What is the best present you ever received? A CD full of love songs Thoughtful gifts from the heart are well remembered.
10 What is 17 1/2% of 97 + 42 x (6 / 2) – 137 ? Is this the SAT???? I'll ask Homer. If he doesn't know how to answer in Common Core fashion (who over 50 does??!) then I'll wait for all your answers and hope you ciphered correctly. Or we could just ask The Wizard....

11 What would be the best possible way you could live? A cabin in the mountains on 100 acres of land. I wouldn't even need electricity.  Just tree oxygen, pens and paper....

12 Given the choice of absolutely anything, what would be your dream job?  I just retired. But my goal is to renew... not retire.  Now I finally have room to dream.

13 What position do you sleep in at night?

HOMER!!! Who let that dog in here??

14 What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you? Homer
15 Who is your favorite fictional character? Mimi Queen of Memes

16  What food do you hate most in the world? Mussels
17  When was the last time you were ill? I was "ill" as in bad-tempered last night. 

18  If you were transformed into a wild creature,  what would it be? I could still curl my hair....

19  What was your favorite toy as a child, and whatever happened to it? I had a two-story metal dollhouse that I loved. In recent years (according to my mother) my sister insisted that it belonged to her instead of me. Who owned the dollhouse wasn't as important to me as making peace with my sister. If she felt it was important to her childhood memories, I wanted her to have it. I took it out of my mother's attic, contacted my sister and told her to look for a package.  I dropped it off and left without a word. I'm still hoping for that peace. 
20  What's the most amazing thing you've ever seen? The world is amazing. Nature is amazing. Humans are amazing.  Sunsets are amazing. Love is amazing.



Time for rest. Thank you Bev Sykes and the blog known as Sunday Stealing for this interesting meme.
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Six Words

Somewhere in another universe I heard him call my name. 
 It resonated so deeply within me that time stood still and I was shocked that six simple words could mean so much to me after all these years. Have you ever had a moment in your life when someone utters a phrase and suddenly the tentacles of time and space are thrown together and perfectly aligned in the here and now? 

One of the clearest and most poignant memories I have of my dad is one of him standing in my front door around 9:00 at night when he popped in for an unexpected visit.  I was newly divorced and alone, trying to navigate a difficult recovery from a ruptured appendix. Stitches. Pain. Worries. Lost work.  I couldn't believe it when I saw his big clunky car meandering up the long driveway to Bloggingham's backdoor.  He was all hunched over the steering wheel and moving slowly out of the car. This was no time for him to be out in the shape he was in let me tell ya.  I opened the door and there he stood with a look of determination, tired eyes, and a bag full of apples. In his arsenal of healing tricks he always had a supply on hand. He believed in their restorative powers. And he was clearly on a mission to deliver said remedy to his eldest ailing daughter.  I thanked him but gently scolded with something like this: "Daddy! You need to be home in bed. You don't look well enough to be out. Are you OK?"

Without missing a beat he quietly replied, "I'm OK if you're OK." 
Nothing more. Nothing less.  I kissed him on the cheek and he carefully made his way back to the car.  Mission accomplished.  When he died a few years later, that night and that conversation soothed my grief and reminded me of his many simple unspoken acts of love. 

My dad's been gone for nearly eight years now. 
Today my now very grown son came over to help me with a few things at the house. He hooked up a digital antennae and tinkered with a Roku device I'd been struggling with for awhile so that his mom could enjoy the last few weeks of summer without being frustrated. Now that isn't a life or death dilemma. That isn't even a basic needs issue. It was a simple pleasure. 
  I knew he didn't have time for this today. I knew he had to make time in his schedule for me. But when it was done he smiled proudly and I had a beautiful new picture on the screen in high definition with no more technical issues. And I sorely needed to relax, unwind, and heal from a summer full of caretaking and stress. 
 After he left, I texted him a picture of me in my fuzzy socks watching my favorite show. 

His response was "I'm happy UR happy love u"

And suddenly I saw my dad standing in the door with the apples
and my eyes filled with tears
 From his grandfather to me he'd unknowingly tethered a remedy from the ever-present storehouse of apples in Heaven's orchard and I felt the healing of time in the span of six words. 
Sometimes I wonder about that boy and the words he chooses. They're always just enough. 
No more. No less. 


It's not the fancy gifts, the money spent, or even the whole of one's lifetime support or handed down treasures that matter in the end. 
 It's time spent, gifts undeserved 
and words
 spoken 

Running The Bases With Daddy

I wish tonight that he would visit me. But I know such occurrences are rare. I also know that I stand in a place in my life in the midst of some letting go, and I need to hear him tell me to keep running. "Go on past first, round hard by second and fly touch your feet on third, Girl. Run! But don't let your foot off that base."  That's what he'd say.

So, I'd run. And he would signal me to stop on third you see. "Hold it, there." And I always prayed nobody would knock me down getting to homeplate (that could be dangerous for a bony girl) because I knew he was gonna tell me to run.
And I'd better be paying attention.

I took this shot outside his Hospice room on the night before he died.  I can't look at it without thinking of ballfields and moonlight or dust on his oily black glove. I just wanted him free.
And that sky seemed to call him home.

Somewhere tonight...he is running the bases. My daddy. I know it.
I miss him so much. But I remember this day in 2009 when he saw to it, in the most remarkable of ways, that I was OK.  And then he visited my sister and gave her the same gift of assurance, wearing a bright yellow shirt and turning my pain into waves of peace in the window pane where there had only been tears. Somewhere between here and there. Somewhere.
Window Pains and Rain

There is a place between two worlds I've heard of.
Some say it is Holy.


Goodnight Daddy.

Georgia Contraband

Around the corner stoplight and across the street I could see it.  The makeshift tent. The buckets. The sign "Peaches For Sale - Homegrown in The South"
**Do NOT drive past the peach stand, I said to myself, do NOT ...must avoid must avoid**

Too late. I had no reason to stop and buy a basket of beautiful peaches. Daddy isn't here to give them to. And that is why I didn't want to visit you see.

He would rather have a fresh peach than ten gallons of homemade ice cream.  When he was sick I would stop at stands like this on the way to the hospital to buy peaches for him. Then I would  smuggle  them in past the nurse's station like a bandit. Contraband. It went something like this, "Good morning, Daddy."
"Hand me one, Sis, before that nurse comes back in here."
And the knife would start to peel. 

When I was a little girl we had peach trees, pecan trees, apple trees, watermelon patches, grapevines and the like. There was nothing better than watching daddy churn the wooden ice cream handle on a hot July day as he made a batch of soft spun ice cream. Sometimes he would let me pour the salt down the side ever so carefully, to keep the temperature of the ice below freezing. His hand would be wrapped in a towel which was, in turn, wrapped around the cantankerous handle.  We had an old ice cream maker like the one you see below and the handle creaked when he churned. I wish I knew what happened to it. You had to go to a lot of trouble to make ice cream. 

You would pack the inside of the metal cylinder with sugar, cream and vanilla. The outside of the container would be crammed tight with ice, which had to be replenished periodically and salt poured on to keep the delicate balance intact. That's where I learned my expert salt-pouring skills. Underneath the ice cream maker was a large pan to catch the melted ice drops. It was archaic and scientific at the same time. 

 Mama would put the fresh peaches in at just the right time, except a few would always go missing before they landed in the mix. She thought he was churning all the time, but Daddy knew how to balance a peach on his knee with one hand, slice it sliver by sliver with his pocketknife and plop it right into his mouth from the blade of the knife. I never told.

  Inside the cylinder were wooden or metal paddles that churned the cream.  "Is the ice cream ready, Daddy?" I must have asked a dozen times. He would take the lid off sometimes to check on the thickness. When the handle got hard to turn you knew it was almost ready. Sometimes he would let me dip a large silver spoon - forever dubbed "the ice cream spoon" no matter what else it stirred -  down into the cylinder and taste it myself. 
It was the most delicious thing ever.


I'm glad I rounded the corner at the stoplight today. I started to remember you see, so unexpectedly. The sight of a roadside peach sale and the smell of those memories. And salt down my cheeks in the middle of a Saturday.

Images public domain
Photographer: Jack Dykinga, U.S. Department of Agriculture
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