Monday Mimisms ~ Do I Look Like Annie to You??

Three Five Things I Will Never EVER Say to Anyone AgainWho Is Going Through a Hard Time

1.  You are stronger than you know.
Please, for the love of all that is BloLy (that's blog + holy for all you non-blog speakers) Let's not tempt the Universe and test that theory.

maybe I need to look in the mirror

2. This too shall pass.
Sometimes it takes a loooooonnnnng time to "pass." In the meantime it's perfectly logical to schedule a nervous breakdown.
3. You've been through worse times than this! You can do it!
Bite me.
4. I'm sorry you're sick. Are you sure it wasn't caused by stress?
Now you have insinuated that I don't have the strength to soldier through and I'm somehow to blame for my own distress. A double-whammy to my pain.                                See #3
5. Tomorrow is a new day.

Thanks. Another day of this???!!
Instead.....Have a big ugly cry. Throw some things. I tried Velcro curlers but it was so unsatisfying. Shut the bathroom door and cuss in the mirror. If you're not used to cussing you'll start tripping over consonants making up new debauchery! Feels so good. Then you'll start laughing because you can't even cuss right.
Crawl under a blanket or a rock with a bag of Cheetos. Works for me.

Anger. Let's say it. It's there because you're hurting, exhausted, and you want the pain to stop. Call up your best friend. Tell her to bring wine, a Bible, a witch doctor, a Priest, some herb roots, Reiki people, anointing oil from the Nile, snake-handling gloves, a Santana album for dancing and a box of very sinful chocolate. Yep. We're covered.I have friends who already have bags packed for such occasions.
As for the above well-meaning offenses, I have been guilty of saying all of them.And I vow to do better.
P.S. I hope this made you laugh
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Sunday Stealing: Spooning with Dumplings

This meme was featured on the site meme-stealing site Sunday Stealing today (June 2020).  Here are my original answers from 2009 when it was written.

Welcome back to the 3rd edition of The Queen's Meme. Each week the type of meme will change; sometimes silly, sometimes serious, but always fun! Enjoy your time in the castle.
And remember, don't end up in the dungeon.

The Cooking Meme (What Is The Meaning of Thyme and Other Deep Questions) Please join us.

Contrary to popular belief, the Queen has been known to accidentally cook something edible. Although I've given the gift of food poisoning to a boyfriend or two in the past, I actually made the food you see here. Don't ask me how 'cause I could never do it again. I made up the recipe and lived to tell it. Welcome to my Kitchen of Culinary Delights! Dinner is at eight.

1. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you'd like to do?

Only thyme will tell.

2. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown?

I sent mine to the laboratories of Schuster and Scheister for a thorough embryonic cell research analysis. The diagnosis was appalling! They told me that the first six in any dozen are usually crack babies - they, unfortunately, really crack. The others just go to Six-Step Programs
Who knew?!

3. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you?

You were sent by the PETA (People For Equal Treament of Margarine and Oleo Association) weren't you?




4. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters?


**Mimi girl, you really have an overactive imagination. Maybe you should take a pill for that.** Wait wait......My spoons are special. They met on a dating site. Are they little spoons or big spoons? Size matters in the spoon world. Is this a first date? Is the drawer open or closed? Has there been an exchange of phone numbers? Is alcohol involved?! I need more information if I'm going to counsel my virgin spoons on the fine art of mating. We don't just spoon with anyone here ya know.


5. You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing.....but wait, the windows are open.
Why did you close them?

I didn't want the neighbors to see me stir the dumpling.



6. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don't have one? Here's a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast. What is the name of your dish?



Her name was Rhonda Rump. She helped me with my recipe called The Queen's Royal Truffle. After gently seasoning the beef with a Chardonnay-dipped spatula and whisking the banana into a smashed frenzy of mush - I drank the rest of the wine and asked Rhonda if I could borrow her shoes. (If I drank it first I'd pass out and never get any cookin' done ya see)

Am I wearing a cute little chef's hat too?



7. After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them. What did they say to get in hot water? They cursed the Queen for writing this horrid meme.

8. Is your pot black? My pots are black. My pans are white. We are an interracial kitchen.

9. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet?

What makes it so? They're all pretty scandalous but I'm partial to the Virgin Olive Oil. Is that a spice?

I soak my hair in it once a month. Seriously. Want shiny hair? It's fabulous!

10. How much crock is really in your crock pot?

You can never have enough crock when writing a blog.

My crock over-floweth.

See what I mean?

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Just Tell Me When It's Over

Sunday Stealing is on tap tonight. I'm self-quarantined for the foreseeable future (not sick, just cautious). Blogging might make a comeback with so many home and online. Prayers going up for the victims of this horrific situation and all those affected by the coronavirus.  
1. What is the wallpaper on your computer screen?

Why did you choose it? I'm ahead of my time. Facial recognition?

2. Who is the person you text the most in your life?  I plead the 5th.
3. Is there carpet or hardwood floor in your bedroom? Magic carpet


4. Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? Why would I want to break a mirror????
5. Do you like those ‘end of the world,’ ‘Armageddon’ movies? Since we're living out the coronavirus in real time....ummmm...who needs movies?
6. Chocolate or strawberry birthday cake? Choose one.
I haven't had a birthday cake in a long time, but my choice would be chocolate.

7. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie?

It's about even. My favorite fruit is watermelon. My favorite veggie is anything but rutabaga.

8. Does the dentist calm you or does it tend to stress you out? Dentist and calm do not belong in the same sentence. I start hyperventilating before I even get in the chair. My dentist is ready with mucho nitrous oxide gas and headphones set to maximum volume to drown out the obnoxious scary noise.  It's obscene! Just tell me when it's over.

9. If you had to choose, which is the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
I'm afraid of pirates.

10. Have you ever found yourself talking to an inanimate object? I'm talking to this blog window right now.

11. Do you like movies that are originally based on children’s books? That would not be my first choice.
12. Is your hair more thick or thin? Is it more curly or straight? Thick. Curly.
13. Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: Nothing on the human body grosses me out and I just spent two minutes of my precious life thinking about the answer to that question.
14. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow?

15. Do you hardly ever remember where you put things at? I can't even remember where I got them in the first place.

16. Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because?

...and I have a picture to prove it. Mimi 2005
17. Are you a controversial person? Do your views oppose others? I hope my views oppose, offend, rile up, and otherwise invite uncomfortable conversation.  I love to spar. 
18. Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? Who for?

Barb

Yes. My best friend, Barbara. 
19. What would you say your average word per minute time is on the keyboard?  I timed it. 90 wpm.









20. Do you like fiction or non-fiction books more? What’s your favorite? Non-fiction  I love philosophy, spiritual, self-help, quantum physics...although some people would say all of those  are fiction. See #17 for clarification. Challenge me if you dare. 

21. Do you know how to play pool? Are you any good at it?
My dad was a master pool shark.  But kids (especially girls) didn't play back in the day....

22. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? Childbirth
23. Are you someone who tends to take a whole lot of naps? I missed two of them finishing this meme.


24. Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? I'll say it to you like I said it to him, "I hardly think 53 in a 35 is a crime."  I think he was dyslexic.
25. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No, but I'm in my family and I put out fires all the time. Does that count?

Thanks Sunday Stealing. Click the link below to play along. Don't forget to check on your friends and neighbors.

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Monday Mimisms ~ Keys

Good Monday morning! It's nice to be back on the blog this week.

I'm going to think about keys today. I spent nearly two hours yesterday looking for car keys I hadn't used in four days. Convinced they were outside in a pile of leaves somewhere, or left on a fence post, I retraced my steps in the crunchy dry foliage, revisiting places in the woods and searching around planting pots, only to find them much later in a coat pocket hanging in the closet.

What is WRONG with me?? That is the first place I should have looked...or not...because the odd thing is.....I hadn't worn that coat. It's been 65 degrees here. Why would they be in a heavy coat pocket?

And then it hit me!!!! The most obvious reason: sleepwalking. I've found cellphones inside cups in the kitchen cupboard and even in the refrigerator the next morning.  I only hope I didn't actually drive somewhere in the middle of the night in that coat. What else was I wearing and where did I go?

My sleep has been disturbed lately with crazy dreams, so I'll be making duplicate keys today.  It wouldn't hurt to put a loud alarm on the car door either.
Film at 11

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Saturday 9 ~ Time To Get Up

Today I'm doing a fun meme from the Saturday 9 blog called  ~ "Sorry" based on Justin Bieber's infamous tune.

1) This song is a plea for a second chance. Are you good at forgiving/forgetting?

 I am good at forgiving in my heart of hearts and I never take back forgiveness. I think we all (myself included) struggle with forgetting because self-preservation is human nature. But I do want to live my life with freedom and no regrets. Hence, I best be forgetting as much as forgiving.

I also believe that not offering forgiveness is selfish and judgmental. I do try to remember that I, Mimi Queen of Memes, will need forgiveness for something or other by the end of every single day. 
Trust me. I mess up all the time.

 Thank you, Homer.

2) Justin asks his girl to "forget this." What have you done/said recently that you wish could just be forgotten?

3) Mr. Bieber says he needs just 6 hours sleep every night. How about you? How much sleep do you require to feel sharp?

I need at least 8 hours. I usually wake up at the same time every morning with or without an alarm clock.

4) Justin prefers D&G underwear, which can cost as much as $102/pair. Sam may be crazy, but there's no way she'd spend that much on underwear. What's something you're willing to splurge on?

Lingerie

 5) He may be picky about underwear but not cuisine. He loves Big Macs. If we were going to McDonald's, what would you order?

 Fish fillet with extra tartar sauce

It's not???!!!

6) When it comes to healthier fare, Bieber has told fans he enjoys snacking on bananas and grapes. What do you reach for between meals?
 
Lately I've taken to white wine...

7) Performing in Germany, Justin Bieber told a girl who approached the stage, "Ich liebe dich” ("I love you") and she fainted. Have you ever fainted?
 Yes, but not over an "I love you..."


8) As a kid, Justin was teased for being one of the shortest in his class. What do you recall being teased about in school?

Almost everything. Truly. Being short, being poor, being smart, being freckled, being me. I seemed to be a magnet for teasing and bullying. I remember "Cathy C" in particular. She had a large weeping willow tree branch in her hand in the back of the churchyard after youth meeting. She and the branch were after my pencil head with a vengeance. I remember the scratches on my face. Vividly.
 

9) Random question: Will you be watching this weekend's Super Bowl? 

Yes. Go Panthers!

 
 That's it for this week's meme. Have a super Super Bowl Sunday!
Play this meme @ Saturday 9



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