Monday Mimisms ~ Vetting Their Pets

Do you know what it's like to tackle online dating AGAIN when you're not in your fifties anymore? No? Glad you asked. Men are different. Way different. And they say things like "way different" instead of speaking intelligently into my delicate ears. Way different? Who says that??!

(Who let that dog in here....)

As of this morning, there are thirty-one messages sitting in my online dating inbox. Thirty-one. Oops. Ding! There goes another one.

 This will take all day!! 

 But help is on the way. My favorite blues/lyricist/guitarist and all-round brilliant laid-back musician, Tracy Chapman, told me that I just need ONE REASON to stay. Of course, she hasn't said much at all since 2008, but I'm hoping she'll release something soon and inspire me to find good reasons to fully unleash myself on Match Dot Exhausting with no hives or nausea.

 Because, truly...it makes me queasy.

What more do they want? I've updated the updates to the updates, mentioned that I'm a Queen, set the algorithms to only fetch royal bloodlines and said I'm allergic to poodles and peanut butter. What else do they want from me??! I'd better have some super cute and mega rich younger men who also live in a palace in this pile of nonsense today or I'm done. I'm tired of being interviewed by unsuitables.  When they find out I have a real cat named after a candy bar and a sassy imaginary internet dog, they hang up. Every.Time. 

I. don't. understand.

Conversations go like this: How many times they've had covid, how many times they've not been vaccinated, how many times they HAVE been vaccinated, how many exes they dated or children they spawned during the pandemic (it's a thing), how many situationships went awry and landed them in the emergency room (realllly?) and then they have the nerve to ask about MY pandemic romances at which point I'm sure they're stalking me and reading my blog and I hang up in utter disbelief that my life has come down to wildly inappropriate run-on sentences. Who needs that?? 

If one more man asks me if I've had my shots I'm gonna scream. It's so rude. I'm not a dog. 

I suppose I should be thankful that I have so many choices. But it's not ice cream flavors. I only need one, right?  Just one. No wait...one of you (I'm pretty sure it was Shannon)  did tell me that I could have more than one if I wanted. She said it on Facebook! And if anyone in the Blogosphere knows how to lend a moment of introspection, it's Shannon. 

 This means I have thirty-one EXTRA suitors for backup singers occasions, right? Hmmmm.....I could have a date for thirty days straight!

And please, for the love of all that is Bloly (that's Blog + Holy for all you non-blog speakers) stop sending me eighty-five-year-old shag dancers. Do you know that some people think "shagging" isn't even real dancing depending on which country you live in?? In Canada, it means something entirely different. What do they know?  I don't want to start another international incident like I did in 2008 when I tried to send our peace globes to the White House. That's probably why Tracy stopped recording that very same year.  Nobody wants to be associated with a peaceful troublemaker.....

 Listen to one of my all-time favorites tunes by the amazing Tracy Chapman. 

It's time to open the messages. Brewing coffee laced with...coffee. I may need references. I'd appreciate it so much if one of you could vouch for my sanity and impeccable taste in men 

then all will be well in the palace again.
Thirty-two messages and a hat full of crazy town...This does not bode well.

Follow Me

Join us for Blog4Peace Nov 4

Like Our Facebook Page

Peace Store

I Have Covid ~ Monday Mimisms

 
If you're keeping up on social media, by now you've read the Covid saga. I appreciate your prayers, emails, calls and concerns more than I can express. I feel surrounded with protection and love.  
I've posted faithfully and weekly now since June, easing back into blogging with Monday Mimisms. Today, I'm posting "weakly" as Covid hit the castle ten days ago. I am on day seven with mildish to moderate symptoms.  This will be short and sweet.
I had just started venturing out into the world again, feeling free and not so worried about lunches and meetings, doing some shopping... but always wearing my mask. Hardly anyone in this town wears a mask anymore.  Nonetheless, it marched right in the door. Covid is the virus that keeps on giving. One day I have fever and muscle aches, the next day I don't.  Then I'll start to feel stronger (like Friday) and today BAM! back to bed with low-grade fever and pain again. Thankfully, I've not had respiratory symptoms like others have described and I pray it stays that way.
I couldn't bear the thought of breaking my comeback blogging streak. I checked email, took my temperature, grabbed a Tylenol, wrote this blurb and now I'm going back to bed pronto. I will write more when I'm stronger.  Homer said I'm a pain in the patootie when I'm sick. Smart dog. This has to be over soon.

Please send chicken soup. I wish I could taste it!
It's still unsafe out there.Be careful, please.

I love that dog....

Follow Me

Join us for Blog4Peace Nov 4

Like Our Facebook Page

Peace Store

Thunder In the Snow ~ Welcome 2022

Back in the blogging day, I'd fall into an antique house of menagerie, put an upside down hat over my face and call it a day - silliness and revelation all in one adventure. Now it's masks and Omicron and vaccine status checks and Booster debates before even thinking about roaming about unsupervised - which even on a good day is  perilous for me. But oh.so.much.fun.

I used to take my camera out-and-about writing "news pieces" in laundromats, interviewing unsuspecting suspects witnesses and covering the storm of the century in red hats and boots. I don't know how CBS has managed without me since the pandemic began.
Since it's supposed to get cold next week and I heard thunder today while I was out on my walk (in 70 degree weather!) I'm going to assume that snow will follow exactly ten days after the sound of thunder in winter. That's the old wives tale, anyway....usually on point. Better find my boots and wash my red hat, just in case. 
I think I may have a fever.It's the blogging bug. I've been bitten. And smitten. Again!I've suddenly acquired a taste for wordiness and wailing inside a blogger box of blankness. I've missed the mojo moving through the intrawebs. And the sexy sound of alliteration. Have you noticed? 
Lockdown was otherworldly and weird, like I'd been thrown back in time for a full two years of do-overs - make that three-overs. Four? The planet jolted to a screeching halt.  The Universe said "Start here, Mimi. Start all over. Again. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Start here." And so I did. The do-overs I did were doozies. It was a doozy of a dance. On so.many.levels.you.have.no.idea. And then I got to use the word doozy in a blog post just as my dizzy spell ended at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.

However, I'm heartened by the feeling I had about three minutes past the vertigo on January 1, 2022. Just as I heard and saw folks kissing and laughing and trying not to fall down happy-struck on the dance floor, as I waved bye-bye to 2021 with nothing but a passing ultra-confusing glance, I felt something more profound...a gigantic earth-shattering sigh of relief
Like thunder before snow
 The pandemic years created a population of people who became a menagerie. Weren't we just that? The dictionary explains the word Menagerie as: A collection of wild animals kept in captivity for exhibition; a strange or diverse collection of people or things. I don't know about you, but some of my longest days were wild and strange!
Dr. Sanjay Gupta (my secret crush) is declaring new variants are clinging to the old variants which are stuck-like-glue to the original strains who have the NERVE to bypass any and all antibodies despite the dreaded vaccinations we've endured ad nauseam to be the next challenge we face in this crazy battle. Aren't you glad I'm NOT a medical doctor after that layman's explanation??? But 'til March, maybe???  Say it ain't so! Since I am in cyber-love with the good doctor (those eyes...) I'll take his word for it that there may be trouble ahead, but more flu-like than the end-of-the-world news we're used to hearing.
 For two years we've lived in an invisible cage fighting an unseen enemy all around us, in us, over us, under us, through us.  Aren't you weary of doomsday? And yet, if you are reading this you can say that you lived through the apocalypse. Thus far. I'll take that as a good sign for 2022.  

"Dampteurin in "Kreutzbergs Menagerie" public domain
aka Bloggingham Palace

After all, the issue lies with the virus's ability to change and morph into some menacing unpredictable behavior at the drop of a sneeze. 
That sounds a lot like me.
It's who I am.It's what I do.
I can adapt. And so can you. If it brings the beautiful snow, I'm ready for the thunder. 
ACHOO!
Images: Mimi Lenox, Pixabay, Public Domain
Follow Me

Join us for Blog4Peace Nov 4

Like Our Facebook Page

Peace Store