There are so many people in my house right now that sometimes I feel the need to go sit in my car for privacy. Has this ever happened to you? I pray to the God of Real Estate every day! Help my relatives find affordable housing.. Puuuhhlllleeeaasssse.
These people are making me itch.
Now that that's out of my system....
I have a gentleman caller and we are making our way through the beginnings of friendship and such. Six foot two eyes of blue. Male FRIENDSHIP. Perfect. It's push and pull with me. He must think I'm a yo-yo. One minute I say I'm too overwhelmed with my current Situationship to focus on a new one; the next minute he convinces me that I need him in the kindest of ways.
Most of them are still here. Sales are UP but not fast enough for me.
I think I'm allergic to bubblewrap. I'm sure it's not the people...
MUST. FIND. SOMETHING. SMALLER. TO. SELL.
Seriously, I do NOT have time for all this packing and shipping.
Bree is keeping me entertained day and night. She wants to play "makepop" all the time. So we smear on "wipstick" in a myriad of colors. Then she kisses me on the cheek with a loud POP to leave a BIG mark. It's insanely funny to her. This is why all my mirrors look like this.
Meanwhile...Beans has started Tae Kwon Do! He can kick higher than a kangaroo.
I'm afraid of him.
I sent out Christmas cards. I had a falling out with a friend that made me sad. I had RSV for a month. I had more nausea from the falling out than the virus. Plumbing and electrical issues here. ACK! Who neeeeds that? My first grandson started college majoring in Computer Science. Remember Baby Boy?
Baby Boy 2010
Making Snowman and Santa cookies with the little ones. Trying not to eat them myself. We're driving around looking at lights like when I was a kid. It was the thing to do! Getting used to having a cat in the house - something I thought I'd NEVER EVER do. And I'm at the age that most times when I search someone on Google, I find an obituary instead. Seriously???! The pandemic has not been kind to mankind. Or maybe I'm just....vintage.
And.oh.the.purging.
I'm throwing out boxes of STUFF. I can't believe I thought I needed all this STUFF. Instead of "stuff" in 2023, how about I try something really important...like a relationship, like taking peace globes to the next level, like taking a ballroom dance class, like finishing that book, like starting all over in the castle once again with a new metamorphosis and a single life vibe that suits me just right.
Everything's OK until I do one of these three things - Hang up clothes on hangers in the closet, wash dishes or type. Apparently I've re-injured a previous situation (feels like shades of a bulging disc) and the rotator cuff tear that keeps on giving.
Several weeks ago I picked up a small case of bottled water in the store and put it in my cart. Ouch. I felt that. Weeks later I'm in so much pain that I'm alternating Tylenol Arthritis and Ibuprofen daily, soaking in the tub and using a heating pad. I'm the type of person who just keeps pushing through even if I'm hurting. When I say "enough" you know it's really way past time to sit down. If you know me at all, you know I can't tolerate any "real" drug for pain. If I took something like oxycodone or the like, I'd be eternally asleep...perhaps for real!
What's so frustrating is that it's suddenly exacerbated by normal activities. I don't wake up in pain. It doesn't even hurt to walk. It happens when I do the aforementioned things after breakfast (laundry, blogging, dishes, real life). But I knew I might be in trouble when I picked up an egg carton last week (just 12 eggs) and the weight of it caused me to hurt.
I'll see you on the flipside of tomorrow. Right now I need to quickly post some peace and talk to a few friends online (scratch that) on the PHONE. There's just one problem - it hurts to pick up the phone. Yes, the phone is suddenly "HEAVY"...arggh
Do you know what it's like to tackle online dating AGAIN when you're not in your fifties anymore? No? Glad you asked. Men are different. Way different. And they say things like "way different" instead of speaking intelligently into my delicate ears. Way different? Who says that??!
(Who let that dog in here....)
As of this morning, there are thirty-one messages sitting in my online dating inbox. Thirty-one. Oops. Ding! There goes another one.
This will take all day!!
But help is on the way. My favorite blues/lyricist/guitarist and all-round brilliant laid-back musician, Tracy Chapman, told me that I just need ONE REASON to stay. Of course, she hasn't said much at all since 2008, but I'm hoping she'll release something soon and inspire me to find good reasons to fully unleash myself on Match Dot Exhausting with no hives or nausea.
Because, truly...it makes me queasy.
What more do they want? I've updated the updates to the updates, mentioned that I'm a Queen, set the algorithms to only fetch royal bloodlines and said I'm allergic to poodles and peanut butter. What else do they want from me??! I'd better have some super cute and mega rich younger men who also live in a palace in this pile of nonsense today or I'm done. I'm tired of being interviewed by unsuitables. When they find out I have a real cat named after a candy bar and a sassy imaginary internet dog, they hang up. Every.Time.
I. don't. understand.
Conversations go like this: How many times they've had covid, how many times they've not been vaccinated, how many times they HAVE been vaccinated, how many exes they dated or children they spawned during the pandemic (it's a thing), how many situationships went awry and landed them in the emergency room (realllly?) and then they have the nerve to ask about MY pandemic romances at which point I'm sure they're stalking me and reading my blog and I hang up in utter disbelief that my life has come down to wildly inappropriate run-on sentences. Who needs that??
If one more man asks me if I've had my shots I'm gonna scream. It's so rude. I'm not a dog.
I suppose I should be thankful that I have so many choices. But it's not ice cream flavors. I only need one, right? Just one. No wait...one of you (I'm pretty sure it was Shannon) did tell me that I could have more than one if I wanted. She said it on Facebook! And if anyone in the Blogosphere knows how to lend a moment of introspection, it's Shannon.
This means I have thirty-one EXTRA suitors for backup singers occasions, right? Hmmmm.....I could have a date for thirty days straight!
And please, for the love of all that is Bloly (that's Blog + Holy for all you non-blog speakers) stop sending me eighty-five-year-old shag dancers. Do you know that some people think "shagging" isn't even real dancing depending on which country you live in?? In Canada, it means something entirely different. What do they know? I don't want to start another international incident like I did in 2008 when I tried to send our peace globes to the White House. That's probably why Tracy stopped recording that very same year. Nobody wants to be associated with a peaceful troublemaker.....
Listen to one of my all-time favorites tunes by the amazing Tracy Chapman.
It's time to open the messages. Brewing coffee laced with...coffee. I may need references. I'd appreciate it so much if one of you could vouch for my sanity and impeccable taste in men
then all will be well in the palace again.
Thirty-two messages and a hat full of crazy town...
If you're keeping up on social media, by now you've read the Covid saga. I appreciate your prayers, emails, calls and concerns more than I can express. I feel surrounded with protection and love.
I've posted faithfully and weekly now since June, easing back into blogging with Monday Mimisms. Today, I'm posting "weakly" as Covid hit the castle ten days ago. I am on day seven with mildish to moderate symptoms.
This will be short and sweet.
I had just started venturing out into the world again, feeling free and not so worried about lunches and meetings, doing some shopping... but always wearing my mask. Hardly anyone in this town wears a mask anymore. Nonetheless, it marched right in the door. Covid is the virus that keeps on giving. One day I have fever and muscle aches, the next day I don't. Then I'll start to feel stronger (like Friday) and today BAM! back to bed with low-grade fever and pain again. Thankfully, I've not had respiratory symptoms like others have described and I pray it stays that way.
I couldn't bear the thought of breaking my comeback blogging streak. I checked email, took my temperature, grabbed a Tylenol, wrote this blurb and now I'm going back to bed pronto. I will write more when I'm stronger. Homer said I'm a pain in the patootie when I'm sick. Smart dog.
