Sunday, December 25, 2022

Quicksand and Mistletoe ~ A Holiday Card From Me

The Christmas Holiday season is not happy for all. 
At times in my own life it has been bittersweet. 


Overshadowed by schmaltzy Hallmark Christmas movies, rife with Walton-Family-Like dinners around a flowery table, carols and presents and music and smiles. Christmas. Right.
Wrong. For some, just wrong.
 
To me, holidays can be fraught with landmines and quicksand. When I was growing up, the holidays brought long white-tableclothed layers of southern cooking with scores of cousins and aunts and uncles. Tight squeezes in the bosoms of very large aproned women I only saw once a year. "My, how you've grown! Now go take Grandma the baking soda." 

Somewhere in between the sweet banana pudding and Uncle Joe's smelly cigar, there were happy car rides with  Daddy on Christmas lights hunts and Mama (who hated Christmas) throwing hissy fits (it's a southern thing) with wooden spoons full of cherries meant for the meringue pie that landed on the linoleum floor instead.
I learned to dodge.

It also brought worries over money, arguments that kids shouldn't overhear through the bedroom door, and the ever present reality that some adult  somewhere would get too intoxicated or high as the evening progressed and old family scores to settle would ruin the last of the whipped topping goodness in my impressionable soul.
Stomach aches.
 It always happened. 

So be careful when you longingly dream over those perfect Christmas candid shots on Facebook and Instagram. Nobody's family is perfect. Nobody's life is immune to addiction or alcoholism, depression or stress - even when they try to hide behind a filtered screen. Now that I have my own crew of flawed holiday traditions, I see those generational threads of dysfunction pop up occasionally in the midst of mistletoeing and whispered conversations at the kids' table. I hear them. And I remember. 

Children and adults need a safe place to Christmas. Over the years I've managed to re-purpose my unpredictable lineage into happier spaces for my own kids and grandchildren. That's the thing about painful memories. We have the power to change the way we create the future.

Whatever your situation - and God bless you if you are lucky enough to have one of those Walton Family scenes at your address - I DO believe it's a good thing to honor our spiritual and festive traditions, spiritual or secular. But for some, the season is excruciatingly lonely and sad.
 Pressured in the quicksand, memories rise to the surface. 

 Not everyone will celebrate this day or this season. 
There won't be a card for them, so I wrote one. 

To All .....

......whose children are not coming home and will never come home
I wish you peace and fragrant memories

...who never knew their father or mother 
I wish you nighttime visitations in the form of dreams
words and whispers in your knowing place
to help you understand

...never had a happy childhood Christmas
I pray you make your own holiday so beautiful and full of wonder as an adult
on your own terms, in your own way, wholly and deeply meaningful
just. for. you.

To All...
who live with abuse, chronic illness, poverty or grief
I wish you strength
in leaving,  strength in staying, strength in remembering
wisdom and abundance and self-care


And if you are alone

I hope the Spirit of Christmas makes you rich with palpable joy 
with NEWNESS and anticipation (!) 'til it bubbles over right down to your socks
melted like hot chocolate that lost its cup
and keeps you warm at night

Know that life is full of wonderful people
just waiting to know who you are


To All ...
whose children will call from jail or rehab
I wish you calm in the midst of your fear

....who children are sick and in need of a miracle
I wish you words to pray and an audience with your Maker

To All....
...who felt as though an alien ship dropped you into the house of your birth parents
may you learn to parent yourself with the kindness and insight that comes from loving YOU and then give that gift to your own children 
may the cycle be unbroken

To All 
whose homes are silent
where no none speaks but in anger
May you only speak in love
or not at all


To All....
whose empty nests are emptier than they'd hoped
I wish you years of bringing your parenting to a new level 
where letting go feels like flying

To All...
whose families live far far away
I wish you warm breezes that speak of hugs

To All.......whose children will sleep in a car tonight, under a bridge, or in a shelter
I wish that you will only see the quiet adoration in the trusting eyes of your child
and that every star in the cold night sky leads you HOME 


To All .....
whose time is short
I wish you arms of Love and whispers of the God-kind
so that your family will never be alone and you can leave in peace

And to All..
who hear "I love yous" but know it's just an annual Christmas ruse
I pray you speak loving fire that burns and pierces 
and calls for nothing in return but truth 

To All...
whose child became a casualty of addiction 
or mental illness
I wish a reunion with a healthy child

To All 
who knows not where your Loved One is tonight
I wish a phone call

If your fresh-faced child fights in a war
I wish an end to the insanity and a laying down of arms

And To All..
whose arms are empty today for whatever reason
I wish a visitation

of peace




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Monday, December 19, 2022

Monday Mimisms ~ Snippets of Life

There are so many people in my house right now that sometimes I feel the need to go sit in my car for privacy.  Has this ever happened to you?  I pray to the God of Real Estate every day! Help my relatives find affordable housing.. Puuuhhlllleeeaasssse.
These people are making me itch. 

Now that that's out of my system....
I have a gentleman caller and we are making our way through the beginnings of friendship and such. Six foot two eyes of blue. Male FRIENDSHIP. Perfect.  It's push and pull with me. He must think I'm a yo-yo. One minute I say I'm too overwhelmed with my current Situationship to focus on a new one; the next minute he convinces me that I need him in the kindest of ways. 


I'm drowning in dishes. 
Remember all those dishes I bought in September at the Sale of the Century?
Most of them are still here. Sales are UP but not fast enough for me. 

I think I'm allergic to bubblewrap. I'm sure it's not the people...
MUST. FIND. SOMETHING. SMALLER. TO. SELL.
Seriously, I do NOT have time for all this packing and shipping. 

Bree is keeping me entertained day and night. She wants to play "makepop" all the time. So we smear on "wipstick" in a myriad of colors. Then she kisses me on the cheek with a loud POP to leave a BIG mark. It's insanely funny to her.  This is why all my mirrors look like this.


Meanwhile...Beans has started Tae Kwon Do! He can kick higher than a kangaroo.

I'm afraid of him.


I sent out Christmas cards. I had a falling out with a friend that made me sad. I had RSV for a month. I had more nausea from the falling out than the virus. Plumbing and electrical issues here. ACK! Who neeeeds that? My first grandson started college majoring in Computer Science. Remember Baby Boy?
Baby Boy 2010


Making Snowman and Santa cookies with the little ones. Trying not to eat them myself. We're driving around looking at lights like when I was a kid. It was the thing to do! Getting used to having a cat in the house - something I thought I'd NEVER EVER do. And I'm at the age that most times when I search someone on Google, I find an obituary instead. Seriously???! The pandemic has not been kind to mankind. Or maybe I'm just....vintage.

And.oh.the.purging.

I'm throwing out boxes of STUFF. I can't believe I thought I needed all this STUFF. Instead of "stuff" in 2023, how about I try something really important...like a relationship, like taking peace globes to the next level, like taking a ballroom dance class, like finishing that book, like starting all over in the castle once again with a new metamorphosis and a single life vibe that suits me just right. 
I've climbed over a lot of dross in 2022. 
I'm long overdue for new pencil skirts. 

Cookies anyone?


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Sunday, December 4, 2022

Monday Mimisms ~ Me and a Meme

I decided to do a meme on Sunday for Mimisms on Monday
! Does that make sense? No worries. I was shocked to see that they had stolen my meme (shocked!) from way back in the day. Just kidding. It's what they do. That's why it's called Sunday Stealllliiinngggg. So. I shall play
the meme I wrote from my blog called The Queen's Meme - although these questions are a mishmash of romance and groceries. I have no idea who really wrote the first seven or number 14. I like to play tongue-in-cheek. Buckle up. Thanks Bev.

1. What do men really want in a woman? 
That's like asking, "What do fish really want from the ocean?"
Who wrote these questions??!

2. Should marijuana be legalized?
Absolutely

3. Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the pot store.

(I can't believe I said that)

4. What do women really want in a man?
That's like asking, "What does the ocean really want from fish?"
Who wrote these questions?!

5. When you are having a really good day, what usually makes it good?
A day at the river with Beans.


6. What can make your good day turn into a bad day?
If we fall off a rock and plunge into the river. I can't swim.

7. If you could start from scratch and turn back the clock for a re-do, what would you re-do? I would major in Music Therapy instead of Music Education. 

8. Do you make a list when you go grocery shopping?
No. I make a grocery list BEFORE I go shopping.

9. Do you buy more groceries when you're hungry?
I buy more EVERYTHING when I'm hungry.
Just ask Amazon.

10. Coupons. Use them?
Yes Yes and YES!

11. Have you ever complained to the manager of your grocery store?
The day I found expired dates on my precious keylime yogurt. 
Alas, I had to buy blueberry instead.


12. Do you like to buy groceries at huge chain stores like Walmart? Or do you shop exclusively at food stores?
I don't like to buy food at Walmart. I want a real food store with better sanitary conditions for groceries. The vegetables are left out in the bins hardly ever misted and washed. The watermelons are never fresh. Yuck.

13. What do you typically have for lunch?
Salad. Protein. More salad.

14. Tell us about your last lunch date and what made it special.
I met an old friend and colleague for lunch in town. We taught together for twenty years on the same hallway. Oh, if those walls could talk! I just hope the security camera footage has long been destroyed. 

Images: Mimi Lenox photography & Pixabay
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Tuesday, November 29, 2022

I Am Sure (Quite Sure) That Today Is NOT My Birthday

I've been saying this every year on this blog for the last one hundred years. In the interim...wars have started and ceased. The cosmos went backwards in time and came around again. Three presidents have passed by...and passed on. God rest their souls. And Twitter was bought by Mickey Mouse. The jury is still out on that one. 

Homer baked a birthday cake for me KNOWING I can't eat cake. I wonder what's in this lovely strawberry concoction? I hope it's just strawberries with no evil sugar. Thank you Homer!
Meanwhile I am enjoying the once-a-year attention on Facebook. Birthday wishes are the BEST part of that platform. Thank you!!! They make me smile and I love sending birthday wishes to my friends. 

And still is it NOT my birthday.
I know it is not my birthday because I have yet to use color on my natural brunetteness. I will not be one of those women who embrace the grays and let them flow freely. Nothing wrong with that, but I don't think I'll join the party. 
So far. So good.

I know it is not my birthday because no one in the "real" royal family has bothered to send a greeting. The day is young. I'm still waiting.

I know it is not my birthday because I can still wear a baseball cap and a pencil skirt, although my French nails are beginning to fall off when I'm stressed. I wonder if I should talk to my doctor about that.


And lastly, I know it is NOT my birthday because FINALLY those pesky "Sign up for Social Security" commercials have stopped coming in the mail. I did that last year. It takes an Act of Congress to get that little red, white and blue card. Now that I'm past-the-age-of-knowing-better I feel free to know better.
Does that make sense?

I didn't think so.

Well. Thanks for stopping by. I'm going to make a virtual appointment with my doctor about those nails. Last visit she said she didn't want to discuss my makeup, eyeliner, pedicures OR my Internet dog and his health problems.

The nerve!


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Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Pumpkin Pie and The Man at the Window

Holidays can be the best of times for families where lifelong happy memories are made...or they can be excruciatingly stressful times full of unhappy memories to unpack through the years. I hope your clan experiences the former. If so, you are truly blessed. But let's be real. Holidays are tough for a lot of people. We're not all The Waltons! 

Today I want to re-post a story I wrote in 2007. It seems highly appropriate for the societal climate we find ourselves in some fifteen years later. And to be honest, I need to revisit for personal reflection. 

The years in between give me much to be grateful for. Sometimes it's good to be reminded of beginnings.

Mama's Jail ~ CLICK HERE TO READ.
Have a wonderful holiday with those you love!
Have an extra slice....


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Sunday, November 6, 2022

Monday Mimisms ~ The World Has Changed

The whole world is in a foxhole.
And then there's this....



            Thanks to all who participated in BlogBlast For Peace over the weekend


    although most of you could be loudly seen and heard on social media 


I'm still gathering from the blog sky.
 It's a labor of love and an unending task


We began in 2006


many blog moons ago


and have continued each year until we....


knew that words really are powerful


met friends and peace lovers from every continent


and 214 countries and territories...


entered the land of Facebook and Twitter


becoming one blog and one voice for one day....


We talked about people fighting people   


countries fighting countries..


Climate change...and changing our personal climates


and how intricately we are connected....


Inner peace

 and outer chaos


Voting rights, elections, politics, economic shifts....


shifting and sinking democracies...
religion


polluting the oceans and how to save the bees


and Love
we talked a lot about Love


Spiritual remedies


practical remedies


unorthodox remedies


                                      We took a 30 Day LOVE challenge




Documented 60 Ways to Peace


Through earthquakes and tsunamis
Hurricanes and hailstorms
Hatred-filled elections


We discussed nuclear war and hissed like true activists


while flying blue globes across the night sky
and even though we leaned to the left and to the right
We're still speaking to each other (mostly...)


Wars came along...
Afghanistan, Africa, Israel, Syria, Darfur, Iraq, Libya, Boko Haram, Yemen, the Middle East



Conflicts arose
around and around the world


We wrote


and wrote


and wrote


 from everywhere we wrote! 


Voted

and roared


sang a perfect song


spoke a perfect word



then during the next year of challenges on earth
we did it all over again


I wish we could throw magic dust
across the face of the world


and make it all go away...


Pick up the pen instead of the sword


Because our children and our grandchildren and our great-grandchildren



deserve a world still standing in one peace
instead of in pieces


The world has changed...
but we have not.



visit these folks at the following links
and place your own link if you wish!
My peace post is HERE

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