Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Mimi In A Minute #9 ~ Oh, What A Tangled Web



These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep.
Do you mind? I have a few things to say.
This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.



Before we get started can I just say I have a tangle in my hair?

To FEMA: It's a given that Katrina was horrendous but has it ever occurred to anyone that perhaps we could have provided shelter for the people who were ALREADY out on the street?????
It's a daily disaster.




To George Bush Sr. - I love the way you showed tender love and concern for your wife to the cameras while she was in the hospital. It was touching.
Real men do cry.








To Mattel: Brilliant. Nobody in this country would be bullied if we all had tattoos like Barbie.
I'm going to get mine now.





America: Our priorities are askew. AIG got 180 billion in four consecutive bailouts and then gave 170 million in bonuses for executives. Why is the country outraged over this spending and we aren't "outraged" over families sleeping in cars on the street and eating in soup kitchens?



To the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke.
I like you.


To all the middle aged women claiming patents to the newest wrinkle cure.
Your wrinkles went away not because of the coconut cream in the little jar, but because your children finally went away to college.




Did I tell you there's a tangle in my hair?

About Octomom: I'm serious.
I think we should leave her alone.
She's busy.




American Idol judges:
Please. I am begging you. Stop calling all the contestants "artists".
Prince is an artist. Puccini was an artist. Rembrandt was an artist. Bugs Bunny is an artist (well, maybe not) . Give them time to become an artist. They just picked up the paint brush.


To the Chinese blogspot blogger determined to spam me and steal my posts.
I do not pencil skirt in Chinese! It just doesn't translate well.
Now get lost.



To the 650,000 human beings who lost their jobs last month.
I'm sorry. You are more than just a number. I have a spare room in the castle.
Non-smokers only.









The 2009 ACC tournament bracket system: Talk about a tangled web.
Are there Cliff Notes for this event?














And finally...I submit that Bernie Madoff should be made to make biscuits in prison.
After all, he's used to rolling in the dough.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.

P.S. I'm going to find my hairbrush and get a tattoo.
It won't show on the MRI, will it?





Mimi In A Minute #1 #2 Enough! #3 Hugh Hefner & The Brady Bunch # 4 ~ The Ethical Treatment of Ann Coulter and Lobsters #5 ~ The Lasagna That Died #6 ~ The Peanut Episode #7 ~ I Did Not Have Tic Tacs With That Woman!
#8 ~ Cucumbers, Carrots and Caviar
Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.
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Copyright © 2008 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

58 comments:

Shannon H. said...

I cannot force myself to watch American Idol. Take it off tv! *ducks*

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

A fine rant it is too Mimi. Very well done.

Hope you are feeling better.

Have a terrific day. Big hug and lotsa lovies. :)

Autumn said...

Lots of good points there. It's odd, my rants are never nearly as entertaining as yours. They just sound like lots of complaining. How do you do it? ;)
Now I know why you put up the word verification. I was wondering...

Mimi Lenox said...

Shannon - It's not for everyone. Do you like the Dancing show?

Mimi Lenox said...

Sandee - Thank you and some better tonight. Love the hugs....back to you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Autumn - Ranting is good for the soul. Oh. The Chinese scammer is a nuisance of the worst kind. What a waste of my time! UGH. Sorry about the verification. Maybe I can lift it soon.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Post the tattoo !!!!

LOL at the non smokers only ...

AIG is just the start of all this

- I think you should take Paula's place on Idol :-)

Summer said...

That was a great rant! And you covered many of the things that were bugging me. Thank you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric - I swear on my pencil skirt that I will post any tattoo I get. Like when hell freezes over.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

ha haaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!

yes'm ... I thought so :-)

Mimi Lenox said...

Summer - I'm glad I could be of assistance.

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric - I have a funny story about judging a talent show a few years ago. There were 3 of us: I was sitting in the middle of a large black man to the right and a "simon-like" man to the left. We'd never met each other until that night! We looked just like the AI panel. It was hysterical.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Post a photo of that .... and THEN get a tattoo.

he hee

Mimi Lenox said...

I think not.

Travis said...

Did you ever get the tangle out? You know, once you get a tangle you need to work it out, otherwise it just keeps getting more and more tangled.

Mojo said...

The tatt won't show on the MRI, but you'll want to be careful who you get to do it. Those prison jobs often use metallic inks that an MRI machine will try to rip right outta your skin. (I saw it on House, it must be true!)

Hope you're feeling better Your Excellence. We miss you. We're all adrift in the Blocean without a rudder!

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - I am currently curling the tangle. It will not come out. So now I have a "tangle knot". Lovely!!

I'd better keep the scissors out of Homer's reach.

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - That cracked me up.

Throwing a lifeboat...

Desert Songbird said...

That last one made me snort.

Through Thick and Thin said...

Mimi, I'll help with that tangle, I have 3 kids worth of experience.

Melody sez said...

I do not know about any of that other stuff, but I do know that that tatoo on Barbie is absolutely fabulous!
Of this I am very sure of! Be that as it may, I think you are onto something about the bullying! Mean people are not very nice!

The Gal Herself said...

Glad you see you're feeling better and are sharing your "who but Mimi?" insights with us again. We missed our queen!

I completely LOOOOVED your comment about the wrinkle cream. But alas, I disagree with you on Idol. Paula OWNS the word "artist." As in, "Mimi, this blog is what makes you an artist. It's how you let your Mimi-ness shine through, what we saw and loved about you doing Hollywood Week. Don't ever change. You're an artist!" I believe if you took that word away, Paula would be struck mute. (Same with Randy and the word, "pitchy.")

Keep the posts coming, Your Highness.

Bond said...

'used to rolling in the dough'...that killed me

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I can't stand the talent...I use the word loosely...show we have in Britain, nor the ice skating!

Linda said...

Hmmm, must be a ranting sort of day as I ranted over on my blog, too, but not nearly as eloquently or humorously as you!

Sounds like you have come out of the drug-induced haze you were in the past few days which means you are on the mend. Yay!

Oh, and if Bernie hadn't Madoff with so much of other people's money, he would be rolling in the dough!

P.S.,

Thanks for posting the pic of Adam - he's my favorite (and on my blog today, too!).

Mimi Lenox said...

Songbird dear - What are you snorting? Oh...that's not what you meant.

I need sleep.

Mimi Lenox said...

Debbie - Ummmm.....It's beginning to become part of my "look" now. H.E.L.P.

Mimi Lenox said...

Melody - I hate bullies. And I was being facetious about the tattoo. I'm not sure I like the concept for little girls at all.

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - Sometimes I think Paula's vocabulary is as one-dimensional as her singing. No voice there. None. At. All.

And thanks. I am slowly coming back to life and in need of a LOT more rest and relaxation. Blogging will be "as I feel like it" ...I'm glad you enjoyed the post. I enjoyed writing it.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - Bwaahhaahhhaa....but seriously, are you OK?

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-luc - There is ice-skating in Britain? Really? You should blog it when you're not blogging space Queens.

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - Adam is mega talented but his circus frenzy groupies may do him in. Not sure. I'll read your rant. Nothing like a good rant to wind me down for the evening....I am sooo sleepy and tired. In bed as we blogspeak, actually.
Toasty warm. (smile)

Dawn (Twisted Sister) said...

I've had about all I can take of Octomom and Dr. Phil. Enough already.
Oh and I think you should send your spammer to the dungeon ;)
Hope you are feeling better...
{{{HUGS}}}

Akelamalu said...

I love your response to the spammer! Hope you're feeling better now honey? xx

Barbara Doduk said...

Great post. I wonder what that spammer translated that comment into. HAHA

Ricardo said...

You're right, this nations priorities are out of line. It's acceptable by fat cats to get money to prop up their failing companies, but to help the poor, well that's welfare (to some) and people who need help like that are seen as deadbeats (to some) and the practice of helping (to some) is seen as socialism. That word is a smokescreen and an excuse to NOT help. Flip on a political radio show with blow hard hosts and this thinking is promoted as the way to go for a better America. Sad.

I think American Idol has done more to hurt the music industry than help. We are about to end a decade with no new style of music or memorable band. We have almost 10 years of status quo in music. That's alarming when you think of all the decades before it who had one or 2 styles of music to call their own.

Tarheel Rambler said...

To be honest, I'm not sure anyone (male at least) who paints their fingernails black should be considered an "artist". Sorry if my curmudgeonly side is showing.

Lucy said...

haha Mimi your rants just make me smile! I agree with them all! esp. the kids going away to college helping wrinkles! well, helping EVERYthing! haha
and as for amer. idol.. I am so disappointed ALREADY! that little alexis grace was my choice for the winner! I guess I am wrong AGaIN!
have a great weekend meem! xo

Doctor Shoal said...

Writing is healthy ....

Starrlight said...

I am with you on the priorities. People are screaming about the bank AND homeowner bailouts. Same people who have let the last 20 years of increasing world poverty, AIDS, Katrina, several lovely examples of Genocide and this ridiculous war go by with a sympathetic shrug and not a single action on their part.

The current corporate mentality of gross excess was not created in a vacuum and is merely a more showy example of the same disease that causes every day people who do nothing more than drive the kids to soccer and hit the grocery stores to feel just fine owning a Hummer.

Don't get me started. People just piss me off :P

Starrlight said...

PS...I think Madoff should have to Toss Salads, not make biscuits.

Google it ;)

katherine. said...

the drugs are working

not on the soapbox today....hope you are healing.

meleah rebeccah said...

I cannot even deal with Barbie having tattoos.

jennifer said...

Barbie has worn skimpy swimsuits for years and she has worn leather (Harley Davidson Barbie) so the next obvious step was a tattoo. The timing is a little suspicious (just turned 50).




My word verification was poophydr... code word for cat maybe?

John said...

Can't help you with the brackets, but there are dark, ominous clouds over Bloggingham.

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - The spammer deserves worse than the dungeon. I have lost my patience with these people!
(and thank you)

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - Getting there honey. And needing to get to bed!

Mimi Lenox said...

Barbara - He was probably cursing in spam.

Mimi Lenox said...

Ricardo - Interesting point you make, my friend. Hope you are feeling better?

Mimi Lenox said...

Lee - You can be a curmudgeon on my blog if you want. It's allowed....

Mimi Lenox said...

Lucy - Alexis Grace was one of my favorites. I thought she'd end up in the top 3 at the end.
Sad. She's very talented.

Mimi Lenox said...

Doctor - Why, thank you! I will take your prescription to heart.

Mimi Lenox said...

Starr - I googled the tossed salad thing and then started reading about some sort of jelly (oh Lord)and had to shield my tender eyes from further mental images of the prison kind.

Or maybe it was just the pain killers talking...

Mimi Lenox said...

Katherine - Does this mean you'd rather I NOT be on my soapbox? Hmmmm......I don't remember writing some of this post at all. It wasn't my usual snark. Hey! Maybe I didn't write it and a phantom writer took over temporarily.

Yes. I'm sure that's what happened.

(maybe the Chinese spammer. It could happen!)

Mimi Lenox said...

Meleah - I know! It caused me trauma!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Jennifer - There are code words inside word verifications??! What is the blogosphere coming to?

I need to go to sleep now.

Mimi Lenox said...

John - Can you see them from your house?
How, pray tell, can I get rid of them?

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

BWAHAHAHA. You are crazy!

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