Saturday, December 20, 2008

Mimi In A Minute

These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache. I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep.
Do you mind? I have a few things to say.

This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.



Governor Rod-I-Will-Fight-To-The-Inevitable-Embarrassing-End Blagojevich:
You can't go away fast enough.


Santa Claus: I hate your beard. It makes you look reaaaalllly old. They make hair dye for men ya know. (But I was a very good girl this year even though I'm being a smart aleck today. Just so ya know.)

Santa's Elves: I think you're weird. Seriously weird. President-Elect Barack Obama: Could I have five minutes of your time, please?

Jennifer Aniston (about her recent cover shot for GQ magazine wearing only a tie - beautifully done, I might add): Don't complain and rail one week about the public being fascinated with you if you're gonna take your clothes off the next week and pose for a magazine cover.

Ann Coulter: Democrats won. Get over it.


Katie Couric: I hate your haircut

OJ Simpson: May God have mercy on your prison cell.


To the
accused murderer of little three-year-old Caylee Anthony - May you have to share a prison cell with OJ Simpson

To the person who invented fruitcake: You're nuts!Elizabeth Dole - I respected you until the North Carolina campaign trail brought out the uglies. You're too classy for a cat fight.

John Edwards: I wish your only sin had been a cat fight.

John McCain: The man who made the concession speech the night Mr. Obama won the election is the man I wish I'd seen throughout the campaign. Where were you all that time? Well done, sir.

Sarah Palin: You did the best with what you had, but please, stay out of politics. And I apologize for picking on you.

Caroline Kennedy: You have more experience wrapped up in your little pinky by osmosis alone than most people (and cats) collect in a lifetime of nine reincarnations (are you listening, Elizabeth?) Tell 'em all to hush and sail on.


Soon-To-Be-Secretary-Of-State-Hillary-Clinton: You have big shoes to fill. Good thing you brought your "Traveling Pantsuits." Be kind to the sisterhood.




Wall Street: We know what you did.



and finally.....to Christmas retailers: It isn't a sale if you mark it up 300% FIRST!

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.



My last post: Wrong Boots. Wrong Tree.
Copyright © 2008 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

32 comments:

Don said...

Hey Mimi - I hope your insomnia is better. Thanks for being the first follower on my blog!

Vodka Mom said...

are we soul sisters? ARE WE???

I thought the SAME DAMN THING about JOhn McCain. His speech was gracious, articulate and fantastic. I almost fainted when I listened to him.

And all the other shit? You are RIGHT on the MONEY.

tarheelrambler said...

Has anyone told you lately that they love you? Well I do!! You put into words beautifully everything I've been thinking on each of those subjects. Very well done!!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

What a dead on post! A great read. Clever and very entertaining...

On a limb with Claudia said...

I laughed out loud at the Jennifer Anistan comment. I can't stand her. But it's like the car manufacturers. They couldn't get us to buy their cars, so they got their bud to give them the money. Jen can't make a movie, can't act, hasn't won any awards, isn't working to better the world.... BUT she can take her clothes off!

I used sleeptracks.com for my insomnia. It's changed my life.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Thanks you took the words right out of my mouth and thats good because I've been tooo tired to rant and rave.

Jamie said...

Great 60 seconds. I hope the appropriate people were listening, that you got a good night's sleep, and the the sun is shining this morning on a wonderful day.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I would like to give the world a Dr. Pepper, and holiday cards. (100 billion stamps too)

What's that you say? ... Ohh, I guess the holidays are different everywhere, yes.

I will give them all Moon Boots :-)

Mimi Lenox said...

Don - Thanks and you're welcome. "Following" is a great way to get to know other bloggers (but it does clog up your google reader too much). I wish they weren't automatically connected that way....

Mimi Lenox said...

Vodka - We do seem to have the same sense of humor and takes on things, don't we? I love your blog!

Mimi Lenox said...

Lee - Awwwww....I needed that! A big smooch to you. I'm glad we agree but I imagine there will be conflicting views down the road as I continue this feature. That's perfectly fine! Maybe it will spark discussion and hopefully entertain as well.
It's kinda nice to speak my mind.....yep. It is.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - You create great features on your blog. That means a lot coming from you. Thank you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Claudia - Sleeptracks...hmm....I'll check into it. I had a wicked night of insomnia last night. The brain wants to turn, turn, turn...

Mimi Lenox said...

Queen - Glad to be of assistance.

Mimi Lenox said...

Jamie - The sun is definitely shining here today. Lovely Christmas eve of the eve of the eve of the eve of the ....oh, you know.

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric - Does this mean you're putting moonboots in my stocking? YAY!

Charles Gramlich said...

I can get behind all these.

Shannon H. said...

You have been holding a lot in Mimi! That is not good...feel free to vent as often as needed!

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - So glad you agree! But I suspect that even if you didn't, you'd do so respectfully.

Mimi Lenox said...

Shannon - I feel so much better!

Ferd said...

Wow, you said it all!
Even I feel better now! thanks!!! : )

Tony said...

Wow, I feel much better, too! Thank you for helping me purge those pent up anxieties and resentments. Now I can get on with my life and all thanks to the Mimi Spirit ;)

The Gal Herself said...

One of the saddest things about the John Edwards episode (beyond that he dumped on my personal, and dying, heroine and that it was all so stinking TACKY) is that he was the one who consistently spoke about poverty. I consider myself middle class and I appreciate the attention my plight is receiving, but what about the poor? Because he couldn't keep it in his pants, they lost an articulate, wealthy and well-placed advocate.

You did all this is in 60 seconds? Atta girl! (Atta goddess?)

Mimi Lenox said...

Ferd - So glad you feel better!

Mimi Lenox said...

Tony - Yes, let's get on with 2009. It is waayyyy past due.

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - I almost said "because he couldn't keep it in his pants" because it is soooooo true. And a shame, really. Thanks for saying it for me.

fishingaround said...

I like you.

Caro went to law school, she's an attorney, she's written books on constitutional law, she's raised millions for Big Apple schools... and she's not qualified to be senator? Why does being a POW make someone eligible to be a senator? I don't see any qualification in that... am I missing something.

I love 'explaining' that to people.

Mimi Lenox said...

Fish - I nearly jumped for joy when I heard that she wanted that Senate seat. Oh please, people! Wake up! What a gift to us she would be.

Happy Holidays, Fish Girl!
I like you too.

Don said...

There's a funny thing happening here in my state over that vacated Senate seat. Republicans are railing against her, saying that she lacks experience, isn't a politician, only has a famous name, etc. But when asked "OK, then, who the heck would YOU pick for the seat?", the response is usually something like "Duh, um, er, ah, hmm...I'll get back to you!" They can't even pick Giuliani anymore since he imploded during the nomination race.

Good politicians are in short supply, and in this state (and perhaps elsewhere?), good Republican politicians are in even shorter supply...

Desert Songbird said...

One can say so much with so few words.

Patti said...

Great post, Mimi. Oooh! Two snowflakes just floated by.

Very pretty ~

Julie said...

Ok ok ok! I'll admit it!

**blushes**

I googled Jennifer Aniston GQ cover.

**runs off quickly**

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