Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Mimi In A Minute #8 ~ Cucumbers, Carrots and Caviar

These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep.
Do you mind? I have a few things to say.
This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.

To my local grocer:
You have the nerve to offer a single cucumber for $2.42? These 3 cukes together are $7.26. That's enough to buy a 1/2 cup of coffee at Starbucks these days.
Are they
filled with caviar?

White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel
Rush Limbaugh is the "voice and the intellectual force and energy behind the Republican Party"? Really?
Who is the leader behind the Save-A-Lot Grocery Store chain?
He's the guy I wanna talk to.
Can I have a Paczki please?

To my Crinkle Carrots
You know it. I know it. You just pretend to be a vegetable. I love you so much more with chocolate dip.

Congress: Just send your next bailout check to the address on the mailbox. I'm home most days trying to buy cucumbers.

Dear United States Secretary of Education:
How To Fix Our Schools:
Start with a bulldozer.
Then buy a set of Legos. Pile 'em all in the floor and give 'em to a bunch of 10-year-olds. Oh the amazing ideas and sites you'd see.....

All 10-year-olds and Teenagers within the sound of my blog:

Bankers and Financial Institutions:
Don't tell me to STOP saving my money because it's ruining the economy.
If you'd saved yours, we wouldn't be in this mess.

To Jason the Bachelor (who proposed to and dumped two girls in six weeks)
Your next girlfriend's name is Karma.

The Florida woman who called 911 3x because McDonald's was out of chicken nuggets and wouldn't give her a refund

I've been waiting for my ketchup pack for 2 years.
You'll be reimbursed along with the rest of us in the next round of McBail-Outs.
Now calm down.

Major news channels: Did you forget there is still a war in Iraq?

I'm stockpiling Legos for the reconstruction.
Just thought you should know.....

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.

Mimi In A Minute #1
Mimi In A Minute #2 Enough!
Mimi In A Minute #3 Hugh Hefner & The Brady Bunch

Mimi In A Minute # 4 ~ The Ethical Treatment of Ann Coulter and Lobsters
Mimi In A Minute #5 ~ The Lasagna That Died
Mimi In A Minute #6 ~ The Peanut Episode
Mimi In A Minute #7 ~ I Did Not Have Tic Tacs With That Woman!

Copyright © 2006 -2008 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.


Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Yikes, cucumbers are that expensive? I didn't know that.

Amen on the saggy pants. It's a real turn off if you ask me.

Glad you feel better after your vent.

Have a terrific day. Big hug and lotsa lovies. :)

Southern (in)Sanity said...

I like the idea of bulldozing the current schools and letting five-year-olds design the new ones.

The Gal Herself said...

This whole Bachelor thing confuses me. I don't watch the show, but I've heard it was scripted and about as spontaneous as pro wrestling. But did they only give the Bachelor himself the script, or were the women in on it, too?

Don't tell him, but I have a secret crush on Rahm Emmanuel.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

My cukes always come with caviar. Last timed I shopped, I think. Of course it was 1986 and I was a little drunk... said...

New to your site, but you CAN get a bailout check! It's fun and unlimited funds. (I don't get anything for spamming you.) It's just alot of fun - paper version costs:
Mine came the other day for $6060606060.60! or you can get an email version for free.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You really let 'em have it!

Great post, Mimi!

Mojo said...

"Rush Limbaugh" and "intellectual" in the same sentence?

You don't see that every day.

Every time I hear his name (much less his voice) I'm reminded of that iconic symbol of America that said..

"What a maroon!"

Akelamalu said...

This craze for wearing pants that are falling down drives me crazy too - PULL THE DAMN THINGS UP!!!

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Just more truth that the news is stranger than fiction!

... and chocolate carrots?? REALLY !?!!

I must try :-)

Speedcat Hollydale said...


.... I see you finally participated in my chicken meme. I will add you to the BIG BOARD now.

You did that just for me, no?


Jamie said...

My queen, The cukes were that price because you were supposed to be eating radishes, carrots and potatoes for square root day. Not you must get ready for Pi Day on 3/14. Being brilliant you will figure out what to eat.

Bond said...

in my cubical at work I have a picture of my brother and his family. the other day one of my coworkers looked at it and said "Why do you have a picture of Rahm Emanuel in your cube, do you know him" they look like they could be twins!

Mimi Lenox said...

Sandee - Feel better? I just got started.(thanks for the daily

Mimi Lenox said...

Southern - I am not kidding you know...

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - I'm sure the women knew what was going on too but still......he gets down on one knee, proposes and then dumps her six weeks later because he's "following his heart" with the other one whom he'd already done the SAME THING to 6 weeks prior to that.
Did you get that?

He doesn't know who he loves?
Oh please.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - If you bought cukes at all (which I doubt) in 1986 I am sure they are still rotting in your refrigerator right now. Oh no, readers, I am not kidding.

Mimi Lenox said...

Sixty - That does sound like fun 'cept I want real money....does it come in Monopoly money?

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-luc - I'm fierce. I know.

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - Maroon is definitely his color. It's not red, white and blue for sure.

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - You said it better than I did. Yay!

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric - Chocolate carrots. Not really. But it would be nice...just a little spoof on my healthy diet that gets b.o.r.i.n.g. sometimes.

Mimi Lenox said...

P.S. Eric - As in today. I ate macaroni and cheese.....and loved every minute of it.

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric Of course I did that just for you. And to think, today is the day that I finally made it onto the Big Chicken Board. I'll mark it on my calendar for posterity.

What's a Big Chicken Board?

Mimi Lenox said...

Jamie - I see....nobody told me math was involved in this blogging thing. Hmmm....

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - Really? See above. Gal would like to meet your brother!
Is he married?

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - See above!

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Oh, I'm sure you're not kidding. The unfortunate part is that the idea makes better sense than what is being done now (basically nothing). For that reason, it would never happen.

Mimi Lenox said...

Southern - Exactly!

Bond said...

Yup he is married

Getty72 said...

uh oh! Another woman with a fetish for!!!

Your Royal Highness, I loved this cure for insomnia. Definitely one that I will try the next time I cannot sleep.

Oh, and I simply adore your outlook on life. You ROCK!!!!!

take care and speak soon

~ G :)

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - Too bad.. too bad.

Mimi Lenox said...

Graham - Another?
You mean I'm not the first? Wait a minute...never mind.

researching cucumber fetishes...

Mimi Lenox said...

P.S. Maybe I shouldn't google that.

Getty72 said...

maybe not the first but certainly the loveliest xxx

(*Phew! Graham hopes that manages to get him straight back into Mimi's "good" book)

Mimi Lenox said...

Graham - Are you always this charming?

(*remember to erase G's bad mark and notate redeeming qualities*)

Ricardo said...

How crazy is it that you almost NEVR hear about Iraq anymore. I guess Afghanistan is the big deal now.

Rush is a blowhard who I will never take seriously. In fact, I wonder why anyone takes him seriously.

The price of cucumbers and food in general is rising too quickly.

Travis said...

Crinkle carrots and chocolate? You may have found a new way to get kids to eat their veggies.

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