Monday Mimisms ~ If You Are A Guy, Do NOT Read This Post. No Boys Allowed!

If I'm wearing black heels, I have to have a black purse. If I'm wearing red heels, I have to have a red purse (unbeaded). If I'm wearing a little black dress then I must have a beaded cocktail purse. If I'm wearing a pencil skirt, I must match the color and the fabric. Period. It's a curse.
I can't tell you how many boyfriends I lost simply because they could not put up with my purse swapping. Ready for dinner, dear? Yes, handsome. Oh wait! I have to switch my purse. Purse swapping is a relationship deal breaker. So now I just carry a versatile all-weather-boyfriend purse while engaged in boyfriending. Things work out better that way. Until I change my clothes. Sigh.

So what's in a Queen's purse anyway? What's in yours? Isn't it snoopy of me to ask? I'll bet none of you carry an extra crown in your purse, do ya? They don't make collapsible crowns like they used to. I have to be careful with the sequins. Sometimes they get stuck down in the mechanisms of my cellphone and cause a commotion. Occasionally it causes an automatic speed dial to Buckingham Palace. Queen Elizabeth is not amused. Static you say? No....just the beads rattling around. My prissy life gets complicated sometimes and has gotten worse since I became a vixen. There was only one thing to do.
I created a meme.

The Purse Meme (The Wallet Meme for Males)
Here are the rules. Find a safe quiet place free of significant others, nosey meme makers, priests, nuns, all things religious and men in general. (If you're a guy just reverse this process to female and tell us about your wallet, tool box, briefcase or metro sexual accessory.)

1.. Dump the contents of your purse in a pile

2. Take a photo of your purse and the contents
3. Be brave and 'splain to your fellow bloggers what lurks inside the purse.
There is a method to my madness.
I dare you to find a story in the pile. 4. Tag others who might want to embarrass themselves
(end of rules)

Here's mine. I had to use a red purse for the occasion because I'm blogging au natural with a blush on my cheeks today and needed a matching color. Oh the pressure. And the Internet scandal. Let's see if I can find a story in my everyday-ness.

I shall meme myself now.

1. Describe the contents of your purse.
$10.00, $5.00 and 89 cents in change, Signature A Lip Plumping Pen, strawberry red lip gloss, lipstick, driver's license, checkbook from The Royal Bank of Internet Queens, 1 black sharpie, 1 green sharpie, 2 ballpoint black pens, a little pad for note-taking (I'm a pencil skirt reporter. Duh!), my camera (obviously in my hand and not in the picture), one Crest Whitestrip, cellphone, receipt from the antique store, Clinique moisturizer, one mini Hershey's Special Dark chocolate bar for emergency tantrums, a spare key to the castle car, Clinique Lucky Penny Shimmer Eyeshadow with no applicator (sigh), one Wash 'n Dry Moist Disposable Towelette, a Blue Cross insurance card , my debit card from the Royal Bank of Internet International ATM Machines and a spare white-sequined crown - just in case.

2. What's the most important thing in your purse?
Definitely the Lip Plumper. You just never know when you might need to pout.

True story. During my last visit with my mother she took me back into her boudoir where all the prissy makeup stuff is spread all over the dresser and handed me the lip plumper. (I know what you're thinking. The Queen does not fall far from the tree. Right? ) She said, "Here. I bought this for you. You need lips! What happened to your lips since the last time I saw you??! Wear this. You need lips." Thanks Mom.

3. What's the most embarrassing thing in your purse?
Notes for this meme and the story I just told in question #2. I knew this meme would bringeth forth a story....

4. What's the smallest thing in your purse? Evidently my need for privacy. And my area code.

5. Is there anything illegal in your purse? Just the crown. Everybody know Internet Queens don't really have crowns. And the pouting begins...... (she DID know I needed bigger lips! How does she do that?)

My mother evidently knew I needed this "Made In Italy" concoction to improve my femme fatale. I'm beginning to feel a little funny every time I apply the lip plumper. Do you suppose....??
Unless you're a metro-sexual male you probably won't have a purse for this meme and I won't tag men, but I dare you, I DARE YOU bloggy men to attempt to find an interesting tidbit of a story within your wallet, your manly tool boxes, briefcases and even your tackle box.

Or I could find a nice damp spot for you down in the bloggy dungeon...........

I hereby royally tag the following bloggers: Patti, Linda, Dawn, Sandee, Ciara, Kathleen, Katherine, Bee, Tish, Jeni, Jane, Angellz, Lyn, Mary, Turnbaby, Anndi, Mauigirl, Maryam, Barbara, Sanni, Margo, Lori, Desert Songbird, Daisy, Akelamalu, Giggles, Julie, Deana, Jamie, Starr, Debbie, Akelamalu, Carver, Barbara Doduk, Shannon, Lois, Mags, Jennifer, Asara, Dixie, Ev, Nola Dawn, Olga, Samantha, Sojourner's Place, WillThink4Wine Annelisa. Catsy Carpe Diem, Catsy Downloads, Out of the Blue, A Day to Savor and Relish A Piece of Idea Write Shy Stupid Wise onlinememorylane See Me For What You Will - Michelle’s Small World .

Never mind me. I'll just be plumping my lips.

And practicing my pout.