Monday Mimisms: Cabbage Is So Yesterday

I found this meme on Facebook, no less. My main goal today is to be as silly as possible. After the serious post I wrote yesterday, I needed a laugh. I'll bet you do too. I pared it down to a mere million questions for your reading enjoyment. I hope I make you laugh. It could happen. And as always, I tag all of you! Yes, I said YOU....and especially the lurkers. I think it's time we saw your true colors cause if you don't show up soon I'm sending you all to the dungeon. And that won't be funny. But really. Why does anyone need (or want) to know this stuff?
Which is why, of course, I found it challenging to spoof.

It's called "65 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked."
Don't worry. There aren't 65!
Mmmmmaybe.

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
I can't answer that question. I don't want my stalkers to know everything.
But know this. The shower was turned on.
Bwaahahhhaaa

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Hoodies mess up my hair.
I think not.
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
How many times?

4. Do you plan outfits?
Like the Department of Homeland Security plans evacuation plans.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
I am feeling LEFT now. OK?

6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
My cellphone and the blinking light upon it screaming "Your dream man is on Line 2, O Queen."

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Then I'd have to kill ya.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
My son took me to dinner for Mother's Day yesterday. The manager at the restaurant flirted with me. But we didn't officially "meet". I was a pain in the patootie customer. He had to change my table AGAIN 'cause the number in our party kept increasing by the minute. Everybody wants to sit with the Queen!

9. What are you craving right now?
My Queen bed.

I'll bet you don't have a peace globe on YOUR wall, do ya?

10. Do you floss?

I hate to. Yuk. But yes. And who CARES???!! She flosses. Why shouldn't EWE?

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?That you have no clue how to write a meme. You should always start with appetizers first. Why don't you just leaf now while you're a head?


12. Are you emotional?
Only on days that end in Y. Why?


13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Only when depositing pennies in the "Sins of Past Husband and Boyfriends" tip jar on my nightstand. I'll be rich soon. And alone.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I consider that to be a highly sexually charged question. You think I wouldn't notice? I knew you were thinking it so I went ahead and said it to save us both some time. I could have actually churned the ice cream myself in the time it took me to answer these questions.

15. Do you like your hair?
Yes. But apparently my son doesn't. Last night he said,"Mom, you need to cut your hair. It's getting too long." I know I look like Cousin It sometimes but did I ask him for styling advice? Perhaps he noticed that the manager didn't ask for my phone number. (see #8) He does have a point.
Is my hair too long???!!

16. Do you like yourself?

Have you ever read the book,
I'm OK. I'm OK. My Hair's OK. ?
I wrote it.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Did hell freeze over?

18. What are you listening to right now?
The sound of all my Republican bloggy friends exiting Mimi Writes with curses on their lips. OK OK I take it back! I would go out to eat with Mr. Bush if he brings Barbara along. I need some mothering advice. She did pretty darn good, didn't she?
And I noticed she never cut her hair.

19. Are your parents strict?
No. Sometimes they let me out of my room to answer a meme.

20. Would you go sky diving?
Hell froze over again didn't it.....

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
This has to be the all-time dumbest meme question I've ever answered.
With fruit. Yum.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
I dated a celebrity. For real. He was a jerk.

23. Do you rent movies often?
Hardly ever. Movie dates are fun though. The last time I watched a date with a movie was......never mind.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
I'm sparkly.

25. How many countries have you visited?Forty-six. As in 46 countries have flown peace globes. Click here for the scoop.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Not yet but the day is young. What is your number?

27. Ever been on a train?
Through the mountains. There were Indians. There were tomahawks. There were Cowboys. There was a 3-year-old in the seat beside me. There was screaming in the back of the train. That was me.

28. Brown or white eggs?
Why does everything have to be about color? I consider that to be a highly racially charged question. You think I wouldn't notice? I knew you were thinking it so I went ahead and said it to save us both some politically correct time. I could have actually laid eggs myself in the time it took me to answer these questions.
Oh. And yellow peeps at Easter.

29. Do you have a cell-phone?
I just told you that in Question #... Aren't you paying attention??!

30. Do you use chap stick? What color is my cellphone, ma'am? Huh? As Yul Brynner said in The King And I, "I make better answer than she make question. Ha!" Now HE has hair issues.....

31. Do you own a gun?
Mmmmmaybe.

32. Can you use chopsticks?
I'd rather use the gun.

33.Who are you going to be with tonight?
"Be" is such a busy verb. I don't feel like being busy tonight. Got plans?

34. Are you too forgiving?
Before or after I use the gun....?

35. Ever been in love?
Not lately. But I've having lunch at that restaurant again tomorrow.
If they'll let me back in.
36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
That would involve me calling her and asking and I'm already gonna have to take a shower just to answer question #1. I don't have time for this!

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Oh hush. I'm going to get a haircut

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