Monday, May 2, 2016

Monday Mimisms ~ Dancing With Unmentionables

I suppose in light of the fact that I've been away for a couple of months I shouldn't mention the unmentionables. So I won't..... 
mention the unmentionables. They're not to be mentioned you see. 
I needed some time to unclog the blog. 
And yet I keep accumulating unmentionables. 

Not much has changed.
And everything has changed.
You've heard 'The more things change the more they stay the same' or something like that, right?  It proved to be true in a myriad of ways - my great superb lesson of 2015. And then change turned to chance and back to change once again.


Life is circular you see. There are some revisits you need to revisit. Some circles that need one more bold line of color in the coloring book of your life. And then there are circles you get stuck in, like a merry-go-round in a dizzying nightmare, and you can't stop spinning 'round and 'round. You're screaming for the ride to stop but no one is there to help you....and then you wake up.... and realize that you have to get off this ride all by yourself. 


Since the first of the year, I've experienced these whirling revisits in my family, in my personal relationships, in my career.  Circular lessons. Over and over. The Universe is trying to get my attention. "Hey, Pencil Skirt! Haven't you noticed that this scenery looks awfully familiar?"

"But I don't WANT to look at that again. I closed that chapter many moons ago," I whined. 
"Ummmm, no. It was just a bookmark," said the wise and Omnipotent. "You need to finish the book."

C.L.O.S.U.R.E.
Shhhhh.....hear it comes. The unmentionables.  
 I was blessed this year with a few incredible and unexpected opportunities for that wonderful thing called closure. That thing we all want and need when a meaningful relationship suddenly ends. When a friendship surprisingly withers. Or when someone we love dies. Since last August, I've lost two aunts, an uncle, and watched some of my closest friends bury their own as well.  
So, we stand at gravesides and caskets, staring into the unspoken. 

 The Universe, God, Whatever-You-Call-Yours, wants you to have peaceful closure. I'm convinced of that. I said peaceful closure. And that's on YOU, not them. You're not responsible for how they choose to handle theirs. Want your joy back? I'm about to push you off a cliff and into a hurricane. Here's how it happens:

We begin conversations we thought were forever muted and find ourselves knocking on doors we thought were closed. Invitations come. Mercury Retrograde reverses in our favor. It's as if karma itself wants another chance to right a wrong before it spins totally out of control and whacks the bejeebus out of all concerned and we realize....we may never have another opportunity to heal. To forgive. To understand. To perhaps even find the strength to love unconditionally and without expectation. To choose to stay or go. Again. So, we step into yesterday with fear and trembling. Knowing what fear and trembling yesterday held, that's not an easy assignment.
But it's going to be all right. There is no other choice. We take the step...



And here we stand with the choice to run or stay and finish our business.
What will you do?

Oh, I hope you will stay. Be brave. Because gravesides and caskets are real. And there is no open door to that conversation. 
It's hard to get closure with a dead person.

 Wait for that merry-go-round man to ask for your ticket one more time. It happens out of the blue. You don't even know you NEED it until the man shows up. Hold out your hand and climb into the seat. Buckle up, oh, you'd better buckle up, because it's gonna be one helluva ride.



And, finally, you're locked into a time warp, stealing a piece of time that belongs to only you because it's your lesson to learn and no one can learn it for you. Sometimes you have someone to dance with. Other times you must find it alone. But there is ONE thing that is absolutely essential to the process. And it's dangerous, mind you, but worth it. 
OPEN your heart.

 Open it so painfully wide you think all the blood will flow out at once - but it doesn't. 
You wonder when the hemorrhage will start - but it doesn't. 
Your heart pounds fearfully into your chest wall like seagulls crashing into windowpanes.
Ignore the urge to dial 911 and leave it open.  Don't you dare close it up again. 
Because people with closed arteries die. They hunker down in self-protection and squeeze until no blood can move and life is gone.


You are in control of an open heart.  You control what you allow in and you control what flows out.

Once you're in the thick of it, say what you need to say. Don't leave one word unsaid. Choose your words and own them.
Make your choices. Own them.

 A thing called truth will start to creep in. It will rearrange your head, your heart, your blood vessels, your bones. Your entire perspective is about to change. Your life becomes more colorful.  And before you know it, wisdom takes root, replacing those rose-colored hopes and dreams with a pesky little thing called weeds.  You need those weeds. The ones with the thorns attached. They scrape and cleanse. It's going to hurt. Just a little. As they attach themselves - those strong sturdy weeds of wisdom - to the part of you that needs what it came for.  They remove what stands between you and the rest of your life. You will come to understand that prickly pain is the necessary part.

And the most beautiful part.
Somehow you know.


Because you're free. 


I have been blogging this blog for nearly a decade. The ten-year anniversary of Mimi Writes will happen this month. I founded this space on the promise of authenticity. To myself. To my readers. It's always been about the evolution of me, my own struggles, and sharing my words as honestly as I can. I'm not about to change that now.  


I'm back.
Same pencil skirt.
New insight.





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Monday, February 15, 2016

Monday Mimisms ~ When Alejandro Beamed


It all started when little Alejandro attempted to interrupt me during journal time. Tugging on my sweater like a tenacious gnat and smelling like a recently eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he looked up at me and said, "I'm done with my work, Miss Mimi. Here it is!"
*putting on teacher voice* "What do we do when we're finished with our work, Alex? (and not letting him finish..) ..."we put it in our folder, right?" 
"Yes, Miss Mimi...but..."
"So you go ahead and leave it there and I'll check it in a few minutes."
A dejected Alejandro dropped my sweater sleeve like a jilted mosquito and walked away with folder in hand. 

Stop.the.presses.

*putting on teacher BRAIN*
Wait a minute. Alejandro never even does his work much less finishes it! I need to see that folder and I need to see it now. What has he written? What is going on? What is he trying to tell me? Is the school on fire??! It must be important or he wouldn't have stopped crashing paper airplanes long enough to write anything. Write? Write? Wait... He had a pencil???!! 
This is serious.

"Alejandrooooooo.... Alejaaaaannnndro.....would you come back up here please? I would love to see what you've written in your folder today. I'm so proud that you've finished it."
He beamed. He walked. He handed over the evidence. I tried to disguise my skepticism. He's written exactly 4 sentences (4 days work) in three weeks you see.  I had reason for disbelief.

I opened his Daily Gratitude Journal and this is what I saw...


 Have you ever wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there until the rapture?
My eyes welled with tears. My faced flushed with embarrassment. My heart hurt. None of that mattered though. Alejandro was beaming at me. And I drank it in like the nectar of loveliness I so desperately needed at that very moment.

*putting on teacher HEART*

 "I am grateful for you too, Alex. Thank you! This means so much to me.
 And this is excellent work today."
More beaming. More shuffling. More peanut butter breath.

It was reading day. I put on some calming piano music and all the kids wore witch hats and costumes, huddled in the corners with Harry Potter and R. L. Stine, Chicken Soup books I'd found at a yard sale and everything in between. Quiet. Noses in books. Pillows on the floor. Sprawled and entwined all over each other with books in their hands. It was a beautiful sight.
And me with my journal and pen nestled underneath my own book choice, trying to scramble my thoughts on paper before I lost the feeling of magic I got when Alejandro taught me to pay attention to sweater tugs and big brown eyes of impatience.

I watched him throughout the rest of class. He was a different little boy. Reading. Obeying. Not an airplane in sight. And why? I needed to figure it out. Why was he so compliant and eager to please me? 

And then it hit me. 
It must have been yesterday. While the rest of the class finished independent vocabulary work, I'd sat by him for about 20 minutes, helping him find definitions and spell new words.  He was behind (as usualllll) and he needed to catch up. "You've got it now, Alex. That's right. Good job..... Yes! I like the way you used context clues to figure that one out. Wow. You're almost finished....Keep going. You can do it... and on and on..." 
I remember him looking up at me at one point as if to say, "Well, Duh, Miss Mimi. I'm smart ya know."
The more I praised him, the harder he worked. He was quick and smart, eager to learn and giddy to finish his work like the others. Determined.


So that was it. He needed my attention.
Plain and simple. He just wanted my attention.
He wanted me to be proud of him.

I thought about all the moments in my life when I'd been quick to dismiss people because I was too busy to look, too distracted by the endless tasks and expectations to really listen to them, too battle-scarred myself to want to hear another word from the non-compliant airplane throwers of the world. Tired. Worn out from the day. Overwhelmed.

I may not be on target every day as a teacher. I am not a perfect teacher. I am not a perfect human being. But I'm learning to love my imperfections and embrace what they teach me. My impatience met his impatience. His brown eyes were large and needy. So are mine. 
And what is it that he needs more than perfect vocabulary?
Miss Mimi's love.

So tomorrow? And the next day and the day after that I'll make eye contact with Alejandro, even if just for two seconds, even if I'm surrounded by a thousand other little munchkins. I'll praise him for something, even if it has to be the way he made that plane beautifully curve through the air of my classroom. Even if....

Because that's all he needs.
And I can do that.




 



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Saturday, February 6, 2016

Saturday 9 ~ Time To Get Up

Today I'm doing a fun meme from the Saturday 9 blog called  ~ "Sorry" based on Justin Bieber's infamous tune.

1) This song is a plea for a second chance. Are you good at forgiving/forgetting?

 I am good at forgiving in my heart of hearts and I never take back forgiveness. I think we all (myself included) struggle with forgetting because self-preservation is human nature. But I do want to live my life with freedom and no regrets. Hence, I best be forgetting as much as forgiving.

I also believe that not offering forgiveness is selfish and judgmental. I do try to remember that I, Mimi Queen of Memes, will need forgiveness for something or other by the end of every single day. 
Trust me. I mess up all the time.
 Thank you, Homer.

2) Justin asks his girl to "forget this." What have you
done/said recently that you wish could just be forgotten?


3) Mr. Bieber says he needs just 6 hours sleep every night. How about you? How much sleep do you require to feel sharp?


I need at least 8 hours. I usually wake up at the same time every morning with or without an alarm clock.


4) Justin prefers D&G underwear, which can cost as much as $102/pair. Sam may be crazy, but there's no way she'd spend that much on underwear. What's something you're willing to splurge on?


Lingerie

 5) He may be picky about underwear but not cuisine. He loves Big Macs. If we were going to McDonald's, what would you order?

 Fish fillet with extra tartar sauce

It's not???!!!



6) When it comes to healthier fare, Bieber has told fans he enjoys snacking on bananas and grapes. What do you reach for between meals?
 
Lately I've taken to white wine...


7) Performing in Germany, Justin Bieber told a girl who approached the stage, "Ich liebe dich” ("I love you") and she fainted. Have you ever fainted?

 Yes, but not over an "I love you..."


8) As a kid, Justin was teased for being one of the shortest in his class. What do you recall being teased about in school?

Almost everything. Truly. Being short, being poor, being smart, being freckled, being me. I seemed to be a magnet for teasing and bullying. I remember "Cathy C" in particular. She had a large weeping willow tree branch in her hand in the back of the churchyard after youth meeting. She and the branch were after my pencil head with a vengeance. I remember the scratches on my face. Vividly.
 

9) Random question: Will you be watching this weekend's Super Bowl?
 


Yes. Go Panthers!
 
 That's it for this week's meme. Have a super Super Bowl Sunday!
Play this meme @ Saturday 9



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Sunday, January 24, 2016

Going To Japan

The Feisty 25 Meme

Do you like to see it snowing outside?
Absolutely. But from inside.
Sometimes..... 


Do you tell your family you love them enough?
All the time

Do you like getting jewelry or do you not wear any?
I wear jewelry. I love hoop earrings and bracelets... I don't wear necklaces or rings because they get in my way playing piano and/or conducting.

Do you watch a lot of NFL football?

No. Only if I'm with someone who is watching football. That would make it fun. Otherwise, no.

Have you ever used the word ‘lame’?

Ummmm.....yes. But not during football. I just don't understand why they have to hurt each other.

Are you/Were you in a band? If so, what was your band name?

The Toy Band in 1st grade. Does that count?
Oh! I was in an Internet Band Meme once a very long time ago. We rocked as only an Internet band can rock.

When is the last time you went to the doctor?

The last time I was sick (said the smart-aleck me).
 Oops. I missed my eye appointment in December. They keep calling me...

Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it?

Not enough

Would you ever go to Japan?
Why? Do you need something?

 

 What was the last thing you went to Walmart for?
Storm supplies and white wine 
*The cork is still in the bottle for all you inquiring meme minds*
 
Ever gotten in a car accident?
Read this.


Have you ever been in a choir?
I am a choir conductor.  That qualifies and then some.

Do you like the color of your eyes? If not, what color would you want them?

I like the color of my eyes. But if I didn't, what choice would I have anyway? Just wondering...It's not like they have crayons for coloring eyes. OH wait.... maybe they do...

When was the last time you went ice skating?
Just now trying to get to my car brrrrrr


Do you like to brush your teeth?
I hope nobody said 'no' to this question...


Have you ever had a surgery?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yessssss
The latest was 2009. Read this.  It was 5:30 in the morning. My hair was a mess.
http://mimiwrites.blogspot.com/2009/12/monday-mimisms-ala-recuperation.htmlI was not amused. http://mimiwrites.blogspot.com/2009/12/monday-mimisms-ala-recuperation.html









Do you look older or younger than you actually are?
Another one of those Witness Protection Program questions.
 I'll probably look younger in Japan.

When is the next time you’ll be up on stage?
Next week. Or down. I fall down a lot.

Where did you spend your last birthday?
Bloggingham Palace. It was borrrrrrrinnnngggg.

What is the last show that you watched a full episode of?

I tend to flip channels.


Do you know anyone who lives in Utah?

Are they looking for me too??!!

Is there anything you need to work on doing soon?
Almost everything

Do your feelings get hurt easily?

Not as easily as they used to. I am learning to deal with it head on and move on.
Do you, or do you know someone who has taken karate lessons?
No, but I have a rather infamous personal history with Tae Bo and Billy Blanks 

 

 

Were you ever a boy or girl scout?
Not a boy scout. Not a girl scout.
Not a scout. Not a boy.
But a girl.
Yes, a girl. 
A girl Queen
 
Thanks for reading my silly meme. Stress relief from the blinding ice outside my kitchen window. Getting a little cabin fever.....
http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com
Thanks for the great questions!

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Bluebird Baths ~ Shadow Shot Sunday

peering into a bluebird birdbath



Playing the Shadow Shot Sunday Meme
Submit your shadow shot by clicking the image below
http://shadowshotsunday2.blogspot.com.au/


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Saturday, January 23, 2016

Stuck In The Snow With You

In memory of Glenn Frey (1948-2016)  Saturday 9 meme. Play here! 

1) In this song (The One You Love, 1982) Glenn explores one of the great romantic conundrums. This week, Saturday 9 is confronting it, too. If you had to choose, would you prefer to be loved, or to be in love? 

The perfect storm is both. So I'll go with both ... at the same time. Sorry. I can't choose.

2) The song describes an awkward moment: an old boyfriend calls when a woman is on a date with someone new. To whom did you last say, "I can't talk now?" 


 Not in the sense implied here, but I said that to my mother on Thursday LOL. It had nothing to do with boyfriend(s) but I'll tell the tale anyway. I am trying to prep for the "historic" ice storm (ho humm) wandering around with a million shoppers trying to find water and bread. She kept calling to remind me to get home and be safe.  Here's a snippet of our eternal conversation.
"You really should get off the roads now."
"I'm not on the roads. I'm in WalMart."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm shopping."
"What do you need?"
"Supplies."
"What if your power goes out?"
"I'll build a fire."
"Do you have wood?"
"Yes."
"Do you know the fireplace safety rules?"
"Yes."
"How am I supposed to get off the roads if you keep calling me in the store??!!"
Click
My driveway. It's worse now.

3) The lyrics talk about heart vs head. When you find yourself in that predicament, which usually wins -- heart or head? 
Heart. Always. That's a no-brainer...so to speak.
 

4) This song was from Glenn Frey's solo album, No Fun Aloud. What fun stuff are you looking forward to this weekend? 

I'm cleaning out my blog posts and all things Internet. Drinking coffee. Yesterday I organized two out of three bathrooms from top to bottom. Oh, you didn't ask that... Every day is fun in the Palace of Bloggingham. Just ask Homer.

  
My actual car the day I bought it. I miss that new car smell...

5) Glenn Frey was born in Royal Oak, a suburb of Detroit. The Motor City is known for car manufacturing. Is your car domestic or foreign?

My car is a royal carriage. Look it up.



6) The popular 1990s sitcom Home Improvement was set in Royal Oak. Are you handy around the house?  

 
Only when I break things....It's a curse.





7) Glenn Frey co-founded The Eagles in 1970. What's your favorite Eagles song? 

 "Desperado" 


8) The Eagles helped define "California Rock," but in recent years Glenn and his wife lived in Tribeca. Have you ever been to New York? If so, did you like it? 


Yes. I love New York and all the beautiful sights you can see and especially the energy in the city. I do not love New York traffic however. They don't like me either. The last time I was in New York I had a nice little conversation with a tollbooth operator in the Holland Tunnel just after she took my $15.00 to drive 8,558 feet.  "How do I get to this exit?" I asked (**imagine a million honks and curses behind me**) "You're in the WRONG lane, ma'am. Cross four over to the right and stay on the wall." 
"In the dark??!! NOW???!!"

I just blew my horn and took my chances. Somehow we all survived.




9) Glenn wrote "Smuggler's Blues" and "You Belong to the City" for the iconic 1980s TV show, Miami Vice. What else comes to mind when you think of the 80s?

Teased hair. It was not pretty. Trust me.
 
TV shows would be The Cosby Show which now makes me sad to even think about. Seriously sad.
 The Dukes of Hazzard was my son's favorite show as a kid. I saw many many episodes while he sat in the living room eating mac 'n cheese and SpaghettiOs on his little blue Smurf tray. (I hope he's not reading this today...)I have a pic of him sitting on the hood of a replica Dukes car at the beach when he was about four.  He loved that car! A happy boy.

Knight Rider... because I was a little in love with David Hasselhoff. Alas, it was not reciprocated. See question #1






Hey Homer!
Let's watch reruns of Mork and Mindy today!
 




Be safe today. 
If you're stuck in the snowstorm/blizzard somewhere I hope you are safe and warm!

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