Friday, December 26, 2008

Mimi In A Minute #2 ~ ENOUGH!

These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache. I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep.

Do you mind? I have a few things to say.
This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.

Rick Warren author of The Purpose Driven Life and slated to give the invocation at President-Elect Obama's Inauguration: Please don't preach. Just pray. Don't preach in your prayer. Just pray. That's your purpose.

To The First Day of Winter: That was your best shot. Right?
We give.

The makers of Cialis and Viagra commercials. ENOUGH. I hope you all have young children in the room and have to explain the function of both products to them in nauseating detail.
Got four hours to spare? Bah!

To "John" the blogger who keeps leaving the Viagra link in the comment boxes of all of my blogs and those of my friends:

SHUT UP!! We don't want no stinkin' viagra

To blog gossip mongers in never-to-be-mentioned-again comment boxes: ENOUGH. Ummm..... don't you know we're reading your insults?
To the snow on my blog: I still don't have enough for a snowman.
What gives?

To leftovers in the fridge: Lucky for you, I attended a class on No Turkey Leg Left Behind

New Year's Eve: I don't think you're ready for me.

My ex-husband:
Hindsight is 20/20. Apparently, I'm blind.

It's the gift that keeps giving all year.

To The Tennessee Valley Authority on the state of the mysterious sludge:Get real. I don't, for a minute, believe that the water is safe to drink.

To the thieves who robbed Bloggingham Castle on this very day last year:
I'm still here.

To my date next week:
It's our first.
Don't wear flannel.

And finally, to the Iraqi who threw his shoes at President Bush:
Was it a PMS day? We have Viagra commercials in this country for that sort of thing. See above.
Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.

See Mimi In a Minute #1


Copyright © 2008 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.


ShannonW said...

Oh...don't forget the "Smiling Bob" commercials! They are so annoying!

Linda said...

Great rant! A royal standing ovation to you on this one!

Don said...

People should never preach. It's like talking about the future to a teenager - they have no clue.

Don't treat winter that lightly just yet. My part of the world tends to get its worst winter storms in January. It's just started, this is merely the opening act...

Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Enzyte... And where are the drugs that cure pancreatic cancer, or diabetes? Goes to show where the priorities are...

Can't you just block "John" the Viagra spammer? If not, then maybe you can report him and get his profile revoked. At the least, you can set your blog so you have to review comments before they post and just delete him out of the system. It's all just a sign of how popular a tourist destination Bloggingham has become... ;-)

Gossip-mongers? Pray tell, what gossip?

Snow - like I said, first act; give it time...

New Year's Eve is certainly ready for you! Are you ready? ;-)

Ex-boyfriends: what, Mimi? Don't tell me you're repeating the same mistakes? You seem like the kind of woman who'd learn the first time around. Y'know, "fool me once, shame on you," etc.

Thieves: they suck. But the conditions that create thieves in the first place suck even worse.

Flannel? I don't own a stitch of flannel, not since childhood!

And as for the Iraqi shoe-lobber: can you think of any recent or past president more deserving? I'd have more than a few choice words for him, were we to ever sit across from each other...but they aren't fit for polite company.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Flannel man flannel man, old boots and a farmers tan.

Flannel man flannel man, into the dungeon with Stan and Dan.

So ... New years eve is the day? Word is that "I" am going to be the baby new year - this year. What a year

Lights out for me too!

Mimi Lenox said...

Shannon - Smiling Bob? Don't tell me. I don't want to know why he's smiling.

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - Why, thank you!

Mimi Lenox said...

Don - I'm afraid you're right about winter.
I so agree about the drugs. I was thinking the same thing.
Gossip is an ugly thing. You don't want to know. I ignore it.

The ex question I'll finish for you: ..."Fool me twice. Shame on me." Exactly.

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric - You are going to be a baby? What? Huh? I don't get it.....Enlighten me, please.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Well ....... OK

Here is a preview, cauz you are the Queen (smile)

New Year Baby Speedcat

Mimi Lenox said...

That was just plain scary!!!

Me. Here. Right now. said...

Blog gossip mongers. The worst. You don't have to ask your stars though, really. However, there is hope on the Internet dating front...a miracle in fact. I heard there are a couple more miracles out there still unclaimed.

Mimi Lenox said...

Lori - Email me. I want to hear the latest.

I promise - no gossip. Miracles. Bah. Call me a doubting Thomas today. But I swear if he wears flannel, I'm outta here!

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

well that was fun mimi! feel better? good... me too!

smiles, bee

Akelamalu said...

Great rant! I betcha feel better now! :)

Lizza said...

I hope your blogsomnia and every other somnia you're experiencing disappears!

Rant away, Mims. We're here to listen.

Cinnamon Girl said...

I like to answer the Viagra ads. I ask them just how good their product is seeing that I have no penis and all. I mean, can it make me one? Like a short order cook makes an omelet? They never answer.

What gives, Viagra? You gonna bark little doggie or are you gonna bite?

Lisa G said...

Perfect rant! Happy New Year :)

Ferd said...

Wow, what a great idea! Bripe for just 60 seconds (that's blog + gripe for all you non Mimi readers), get it off my chest, then I can sleep! I might try that! Thanks, Mims!
I was just kidding about the "non Mimi readers." No such thing. Everyone reads Mimi! : )

Mimi Lenox said...

Bee - Glad you enjoyed it!

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - I do! I do!

Lizza - This ranting feature is fast becoming one of my favorite things to write. Glad you're here.

Mimi Lenox said...

Starr - But wouldn't a short order cook make a short.....never mind.

Mimi Lenox said...

Nurse - Thank you! Do you feel better?

Mimi Lenox said...

Ferd - I am so stealin' that word! With proper credit, of course. 'non-Mimi readers'...oh....the Queen's English is spreading throughout the Kingdom.

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal tried to post a comment and couldn't get on the blog (or Bud's either). This is what she said to both of us.
Thanks, Gal! You are now here.

Shout Outs To Mimi and Bud

I appreciate it very much.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Don't hold back. But hoe do you REALLY feel?

Patti said...

I do hope you feel better now, Your Majesty. Wonderful rant!

Happy Saturday evening to you~

Finding Pam said...

Have a great date! Did you tell him about the "no flannel" edict in Bloggham Palace? Maybe, he should read your blog.

Good going with your rant. We do want you happy again. But lately, it seems like you have been ranting a lot more?

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - I believe I stated that....and succinctly.

Mimi Lenox said...

Princess Patti - And to you. I do feel so much better.

Mimi Lenox said...

Pam - You should see the ranting I do OFF the blog lately! Homer is sick and tired of it.
He's looking for an adoptive home. Do you need another dog?

I want that too.

Don said...

I think I own one piece of flannel - and it's a nightshirt! Don't wear it much though; I usually "march regulation" under the covers...

(Marching regulation: expression used in some pipe-and-drum bands for wearing no undergarments with their kilts; derived from the military regulations of certain ancient Scottish regiments.)

BTW: Starrlight - there has been some off-label use of Viagra in women, and studies are underway. First, women capable of child-bearing are warned not to even come into contact with the pills, due to the potential of creating serious birth defects in their future offspring. But among post-menopausal and post-hysterectomy women, anecdotal evidence indicates that it will stimulate them in a similar manner to men, by dint of increased blood flow, creating heightened sensitivity - but also with the same potential health risks that men have, including sudden loss of hearing or vision.

(This is what happens when you read too much...)

Call me crazy, but I'm still rather fond of the ability to see and hear, thankyewverrymush...

Mimi Lenox said...

lol @ "This is what happens when you read too much."
You didn't bring a movie to work with you tonight, did you....

Mimi Lenox said...

I need a "NO FLANNEL" banner for my blog. Hmmm....

Mimi Lenox said...

And why the heck am I still awake?
I'm going to bed now before I get very cranky.


Anonymous said...

There are "stream of consciousness posts" and there's The Queen's pre-slumber contemplations! Where do I begin? I think I will start with the reference to the ex-hubby that I didn't quite understand. But maybe that was the intention. Come to think of it, I think I'll stop there. :0)

Vodka Mom said...

I love a good rant in the morning. And, to the ice that cracked when I fell on it the other day? Screw you, it'll take more than that to keep me down.

Mimi Lenox said...

Lee, my Tarheel friend - The ex quote was more a stream of consciousness that only means something to me.
Where is it written that I have to make sense?

Mimi Lenox said...

Mom - Feel free to rant in my castle anytime. Sorry you fell. Are you OK??

I hope you didn't break your humor. You are seriously hysterical.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

That's a super rant, Mimi.. let 'em have it!

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-luc - It feels good to rant! K. I will.

Travis Cody said...

No flannel?

Harumph I say!

I love my flannel shirts and my flannel sheets.

Desert Songbird said...

Dearest Mimi,

Don't hate me because I have to take Viagra. Viagra is a good thing, because well, you know, increased blood flow to my lungs is a very good thing. So don't hate me that I need it, 'kay?

Desert Songbird

Anonymous said...

I honestly hadn't thought about those commercials in that way. But you did help me realize that those horrid Valtrex commercials havn't been coming on recently...for which I'm incredibly grateful.
Good luck on your date, Your Majesty! :)

Julie said...

I KNEW I loved Travis!

See? So there!


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