Monday, June 23, 2008

If You See A Naked Blog

My blog is having a midlife crisis. And I've decided to do something about it.

But first, the diagnosis. I had to make sure my poor bloggy was really experiencing this transformation of blelf (that's blog + self for all you non-blog speakers) before I proceeded to treatment. Here are the symptoms of midlife transformation.

1. Looking into the mirror and you no longer recognize yourself.

Duh. This is what my page looked like in November 2006 and the early part of 2007. I was all green then. Some of you may recall my greenness (so to speak) and the opposite side of my face showing. The picture was made in the sun and no matter what I did I couldn't get the yellow/green tint out of it. So I stayed green for a long time.
Now when I look in the mirror I see the other half of me. It's a shock.
I'm so confused!
2. Change in allergies.
Check. I used to be allergic to online dating. Now I'm just allergic to dating. My view of relationships has so drastically transformed that my poor neglected site, Dating Profile of The Day, has been nakedly alone for weeks - another analogy to the state of my life. Next symptom. This is depressing....

3. Desire for physical -Free Flowing- movement (Running, Biking, Dance, Fast red sports cars, Sky diving, etc).
Just yesterday I had a sudden urge to sign up for ballroom dancing.
But maybe that's not fast enough to cure this blillness. I say forget about the running and sky diving. Let's cut straight to the fast red sports car.

Who would dance with a blog anyway?

4. You see how everything is totally messed up in your life and you have new ideas on how to fix it all.Do you think this blog would look good in leopard skin? I could change the title to Mimi Purrs.....

5. Changes of habits. Activities which used to bring pleasure now are boring. You are discouraged about doing the same things.Yawn. Moving right along.

6. Shifting sleep patterns (Typically to less).

This is where my blog sleeps. Notice the unruffled covers. Do you see me there? I'm an inblomniac!
If my sleep patterns shift to less I won't sleep at all.
And I bleepwalk.

If you see a naked blog come to your page DO NOT ANSWER IT.

7. Desiring to quit a good job.
Check. But seriously. Who would hire an unemployed blog? "I see here Ms. Mimi Writes that you are seeking employment as a blog. I'd like to see your Google ranking, Alexa score, Technorati status and avatar portfolio.Hmmm.... I'm afraid we can't use you. You are only #160 on the Big Bang List and you didn't complete the last ten memes you were tagged with. I'm surprised you didn't end up in that pencil skirt woman's dungeon."

"But I AM the Queen of Bloggingham I tell you!!"

I dropped my entrecard and left.

8. Doing things that get you into trouble when it surprises everyone as being out of character.
Pay attention. This blog does not fall far from the tree. It would only surprise everyone if I DIDN'T get in trouble.

9. Thinking about death, wondering about the nature of death.
How doth a blog die? Let me count the ways. Perhaps I should make a "Last Will and Blestament" in the unlikely event that someone steals my blog or it goes to that big delete box in the sky. It could happen....

10. Hair changes. (Natural changes in thickness, luster, color or assisted changes in dying hair suddenly or shaving your head bald)
OH MY GOD!! It's more serious than I thought. Not my HAIR too!!!
I repeat. If you see a naked blog with a bald half-head knock on your page DO NOT ANSWER IT.
It could be me.

11. Restarting things, which you dropped 20 years earlier.What does a broken vase have to do with anything? Were these questions
written by Crazy Sam?

12. A preoccupation with forbidden romance such as the sudden desire to have an online extra-blarital affair. (I just added that last part.)

What is forbidden??? (other than a married blog)
I'm single. My blog is single. Even my sidebar is single. I haven't given much thought to romancing a blog.

I'll have my bleople call your bleople. How's that?
Wasn't that romantic?

13. Sudden interest in spiritual practices, religions or paranormal that before you would have discounted without a second glance.
I couldn't take my eyes off the cemetery orbs in
Linda's post yesterday. Can someone say hypoblogdriac?

14. Doing things upon a whim.Does this stupid post count?

Last but not least and the one that convinced me that my blog is indeed in the throes of a nasty midlife doosey.

15. You want to change the world for the better.

Peace globe anyone?

I should have stayed green.


Barbara said...

Hi Mimi,
Do I sense that the sinds of change are a blowin through Bloggingham Palace??
I think that we all need to re-think & re-do some of our everyday stuff. It can never hurt.
That's the first time that I have seen your old blog pages too. If you ask me, you have already been moving a grooving since...

Just a note: my Mosaic meme is up on my blog ! I can't believe that I actually did it; you know how bad I'm with Paint.. he he. Come & have a peek.

Hugs to you xxxx

Julie said...

Thoughts and feelings switch up from time to time. Our emotions are uncontrollable and to validate the "thing" within us sometimes change is needed.

Nah...I don't have a name for that "thing" it's crazy though.

Anndi said...

I completely understand.. want to start a support group?

Dawn Drover said...

How doth a blog die? Let me count the ways. :D
Thank you Mimi. You made my day!

Mimi Lenox said...

Barbara - I will be there soon to see your mosaic meme. I'll bet it's lovely. Thanks for playing and for the words of encouragement. Humor always helps me put things in perspective.

Mimi Lenox said...

Julie - That "thing" has many faces sometimes. But transition is a good thing. The most painful part of birth. But necessary.

Mimi Lenox said...

Anndi - Great idea. We'll call it The Naked Blog Club. Of course we'll be completely misunderstood but what else is new?

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - STOP! Step AWAY from the delete button. I was just pencil skirtin' ya. You know how silly my posts can be. I hope I didn't just encourage you to axe your blog.....That wasn't supposed to be the happy part!! Dawn? Dawn???

Wanna join our support group?

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

mimi dear, i so understand this. some days i want to delete my blog and start over and only invite some people to read. i have so many lurkers and sometimes it makes me creepy feeling, like someone is looking in my window. i don't expect everyone to comment every day, but when you get 200 readers and 25 comments something is wrong. know what i mean???

smiles, bee

Mimi Lenox said...

Bee - There are blogs by invitation only but that is such a pain. Yes, the ratio of readers and commenters on my blog is way off too. I think that is true of everyone. I wish more people would comment and interact. Feedback is a wonderful thing and builds community.

Have a great day, Bee! And thanks for not lurking!

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Green, brown, orange, purple, magenta...single, double, married, co-habitating, menage-a-trois, hair, no hair...

Does not matter...your words are what draw me to come sit at the feet of the Queen to read...

That and planning another breakout of the dungeon to rescue those incarcerated there.

Akelamalu said...

Maybe you need to change colour, you know like one does with one's hair just for a change? Whatever you do DON'T delete this blog!!!

Sandee said...

Don't, I repeat don't go leopard skin and you already purr. You crack me up.

I love the support group idea. Who cares if the group is misunderstood? Just saying. Have a great day sweetie. Big hug and lotsa lovies. :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

An excellent post, Mimi. You had me smiling!

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - Thanks. I needed to hear that.

Akelamalu - I would never do such a thing.

Sandee - I purr? Oh joy!

Jean-luc - Glad to make you smile. Thank you.

robkroese said...

In the end, you have to blog for yourself. That's the only person you can guarantee is reading. :)

Travis Cody said...

Did you say there was a nekkid support group? Now just who would be nekkid in this group? Would there be CAKE?

Mimi Lenox said...

Diesel - You are so right. A friend just said the same thing on his blog yesterday, that the most important thing is what HE thinks of his blog and his humor. It really is a process.

Great advice from both of you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - Only the blogs are naked as in unadorned with words. That's the joke.....get it?

Yes, cake.

Anonymous said...

Your naked blog would still be better dressed than some of the blogs I've run across! :) And speaking of bald heads, that could be me knocking at the door, so be sure to answer it! :)

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Buy the damn sports car. Find a 22 year boy to get you out of your funk. (Not that you'd be interested in him, but it is always good advice.) I've got a TV interview to prepare for.

Mimi Lenox said...

Lee - I will remember to answer the door! And thank you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - You're not supposed to be doing the interview without consulting me first. Isn't that what you just told me not 30 minutes ago?? We had a deal and I'm holding you to it! MEN.

Meanwhile I'll just dial 1-800-mischief. That should help.

Patti said...

If you pen a last will and blestament, will you share it with us?
I want to know what I'm getting!!!!

Re: support group idea - I would also like to join.

P.S. I may not visit every day, Your Highness, but I never lurk.

Or Blurk.

Rose DesRochers said...

Are you going through a blog mid life crisis?

Mimi Lenox said...

Princess Patti - I will leave you my sacred crown to carry on the business of the castle.
I surely am morbid these days...

Rose - So nice to see you here. And the answer is a resounding YES.

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