Monday Mimisms ~ YUK 101

There are times in your life when external forces beyond your control seek to destroy and steal the peace within. And even though you try, they seem impossible to ignore. People you love get sick, your world goes topsy turvy, and just when you think you can't take anymore, something else happens. When nothing makes sense and in a second everything makes sense and you are left with a truth so startling and irretrievably sad that it makes you physically sick. Have you ever had those moments of absolute clarity about a situation, a person, an unanswered prayer for a loved one or a lingering question in your mind.....and wish the answer had been anything than the one you got?

I do know this. There will be people there to hold you up. Sometimes others swoop in at your most vulnerable point to tear you down but I've learned it's best to hold on to the first group and toss a passing sympathetic glance to the second.

What do you do when the world makes no sense and unsettling things happen despite your every effort to ignore the changing temperature inside your personal peace barometer? Here's what I do.




1. I take a walk


2. I rant to trusted friends who know how to talk some sense into my pencil head. Then I take another walk.

3. I internally DELETE all the junky vibes and move on. Some literally go down in the trash bin of life. If only I had a magic button that would delete all the "yuk" from my life (ie: dirty dishes, flat tires, silly annoyances). Oh wait. I do! I went to college to learn that word ya know. YUK 101. It's a scientific fact that Yuk clogs up the joy.

Who needs that? Click.

4. I put on my shades...

And talk to my best friend Barbara or my sister and others. Their perspective always makes me see things in a new light. They see through my lens. I look through theirs. I usually find another shade to ponder.

Wanna borrow them?

5. I hide in an antique store.

6. And if all else fails....

I go for a drive.

Look what I ran smack dab into.
Sometimes the signs are just so obvious.

*Photography credit: Mimi Lenox*

We've Got Cake In The Castle!

And what have we here? Birthday cake? Sent all the way from Canada to my blog made by my lovely friend, Anndi. But....but.....whose birthday is it?

Sqqquueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! It IS my birthday. That's what the calendar said this morning. And now we have adorable Bumble Bee Cake in honor of the magnificent Peace Globe worker bees Beehive. Travis, there's cake! Did you see?

Hush Homer....I'm trying to tell people about my birthday. Hush. Ann didn't send the cake to you, she sent it to me. And it's my day so just hush. What's that? Oh, Homer...you are not starving. Now hush, I say.. You're such a baby.

Thank you my sweet friend.
I will share my beautiful cake with all of you.

Please have a slice and save one for Homer. Maybe he'll stop talking so much if he's eating. And did you notice there are no candles on the cake? That must mean I didn't age at all this year. I must be timeless!! No candles is a good thing, right Homer? Right?

We've got cake!

Smooch! Don't you touch that bumble bee in the corner! Homer!

That dog.

Oh For the Love Of All That Is Blog Holy, Please Remove My Ning

So I get this email during my recent and ongoing recuperation from the bed of pain known as gallbladder surgery (so lovely).

I was shocked! It read,

"Dear Network Creator,
As we've mentioned on the Ning Blog (http://blog.ning.com), we're committed to improving the performance and capacity of the Ning Platform so that Network Creators can add all of the things that make their Ning Networks the exact right social network for their interests or passions, and achieve fast performance. One way we can do this is by removing Ning Networks that have never had any activity or that have been dormant.

MimiLenoxsnetwork, a Ning Network you created, has been inactive for an extended period of time. We took this network offline recently and are planning to remove it in 4 weeks (December 18th, 2009). To prevent this from happening, simply take your Ning Network online and click the link at the bottom of the page.

We hope you will take advantage of this opportunity to build and grow your Ning Network. If you would like to learn best practices or tips and tricks from successful Network Creators, please join Ning Creators. If you have any other questions, please visit our Help Center.

Thanks,
The Ning Team"

Who knew??! My response:
I do not remember, Dear Planet of The Ning, ever creating such a thing as my Ning. I would think that if I actually had a ning I would know it. That doesn't sound like the sort of thing one forgets. I can't create a decent grilled cheese toast sandwich these days, much less an entire network. Really? That was me? I CREATED a NING Network? On purpose? Really?

Looking through my files. Nope. Sorry. I can't find a single folder that says, "On the 3rd day Mimi looked and saw that it was good." I would have remembered a historical event such as online Creationism. Is that a word? But my readers have at least another week and a half of listening to me moan and groan in the Castle's Recovery Room while I'm out of work - anything is bound to happen. Creating worlds could be an option while I'm bored out of my gourd.

And really. Do you honestly think that anything with my name on it could become inACTIVE?

I own 51 blogs already. Some publish daily, others publish hourly.... with permission, without permission, cloned, confiscated, in litigation and on the verge of litigation, there's not a lazy blog among 'em. Doozies maybe, but certainly not dormant.

And still here I sit on the very prissy precipice...uh...precipice of priss....I tried so hard to misuse that alliteration... of losing my Ning.

This concerns me.

Where did I put those pills......
I asked my surgeon if he saw my NING during the gallbladder-surgery-that -was but he said "NOPE, never saw no ning, Miss Pencil Skirt. I saw a lot of other mess, but no NING."

And yet you say I did it, so I must have. I have more important things to worry about ya know than finding something you're threatening to remove on the 18th of December that I didn't know I had or needed or created in the first place. What FOR? I'm doing perfectly fine without that little green organ they just took out last week and my skin is a lovely shade less than the green it was becoming - this is NO time to mess with my complexion. I find it oddly surreal that I've spent at least the last 10 minutes of my new gallbladder-less life searching for my ning. Maybe I'm missing out. Maybe I will miss my Ning. Maybe it holds the key to the universe (maybe she's had too many pain meds today), the Holy Grail of Nings, the light at the end of the Tunnel of Ning could be the 9th wonder of the Universe for all I know. Google being the 8th you see....Maybe it's Ning to my Nang! And all God's chillin' know that Mimi needs a Nang.

Or something like that.

Alas, I'm Ningless.

I hope it wasn't tax deductible.

Signed,

Mimi Queen of The World

Mama's Jail ~ A Thanksgiving Story

When my son was fifteen, he did something stupid. His dad, my ex-husband, gave him the usual “Atta boy don't do that again” talk, the school got their three days without his smart mouth, and I was left with the what am I gonna do with this child? nightmare invading my dreams. In those days there was no dungeon, no chains, no rack – not that I would have used it ( I didn't even believe in spanking) – but you catch my drift.

What am I going to do with this child?

The conversation went something like this: “You know I love you so I'm not even going to preface this punishment with I love you because you've already gotten a slap on the wrist but OK OK I love you.”

“Yeah, I know Mom.”
He started to walk away.

“Well, I hope you'll still love me when I tell you what your punishment is going to be.”

Although I vowed never to give the think of all the starving children speech to my child (I broke that rule many times), this time I went for the jugular. Mine was bulging. “What were you THINKING?! Do you think you can just go through life handling things this way? Do you know how privileged you are? (yeah Mom) Do you understand that there are kids in this world who would love to have your life? (yeah Mom) Why are you choosing to mess things up for yourself? Do you know that you can't play sports now? (yeah Mom) Are you listening to me?! If you don't get your act together young man you're going to end up somewhere you don't want to be and I'm not bailing you out. Do you hear me? (yeah Mom) You have no idea how close you came to getting in serious trouble today, do you? Do you? Well, DO you?? (a surly yeah Mom....See, I told you, listen to the smart mouth.) What you do right now in school will determine your future. And now you have a bad mark on your academic record and a three-day suspension before high school. You are out of control!”

“So ground me,” said the smart mouth.

“No. I will not ground you.”

He halted.

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

“Just think of it as Mama's jail.”

The smart-aleck ceased for a moment and then....."Whatever, Mom.”

I was furious with him and at my wit's end. He needed to see how the real world works. I made arrangements. It took some doing but they finally saw it my way. "You want your son to do WHAT? But he's not a criminal (not YET I thought) and we're not a juvenile detention center." (well......) "Will you please allow us to do this? I asked the nun-like administrator of this facility. “I'm not trying to teach him a lesson here, that is not the point, but he needs to see and understand with his own eyes how lucky he is and how his actions now can affect the rest of his life.”

So for the next two months that summer, we got up at five am, drove to another town and worked in a homeless shelter's soup kitchen. It was the worst of the worst neighborhoods. I had cleanup detail (you didn't think they'd let me near the food now, did you?) and he served the line.

“What are we doing here?” he asked.

I never told him why. He didn't need another lecture.
Think of all the starving children just got real.


After one week of losing his summer sleep to ride an hour in my car at the crack of dawn - with music blasting all the way - and mingle with very old people volunteers and stir canned creamed corn in a pot for an hour he said, “Why didn't you just send me to REAL jail?! I hate this!”




Uh huh, I thought. Just stir, buster.

In the middle of the second week he started to actually get up before I did. “Hurry up, Mom. We have to get going.” (Oh great, I thought. He's met a pretty girl at the homeless shelter. That's the only reason he would get up at five am. My plan has backfired. Drats!) And what was this grand revelation I expected him to learn? Heck if I knew. I was just a parent with an unruly fifteen- year -old with no respect for himself or his elders or his life. I didn't even know if it would make a difference.
All I knew was that somehow the corn and pintos and no-dessert-for-you rule would magically translate into a light-bulb moment for him. Osmosis maybe? I just knew this was the right thing to do but I didn't know how or why.

One early afternoon as I started to clean the lunch tables with a large wet rag and a bucket of soapy water, rearranging the napkins and utensils for the next meal, I looked up to see my sleepy-headed son talking with a man through the narrow serving window.

My boy had just served lunch. There was pie for dessert that day.
Pumpkin pie.The man had returned to the window for another slice.
He was dirty. Shaky.
No teeth. Scraggly. Scary. Smelly. And hungry.

The rules were clear. One serving per person. No seconds. Period.

No one was looking. And I'm thinking....We're going to get thrown out of the soup kitchen for not following the rules. Oh great! Suspended again. And this time I'm going down with him. Oh the shame. Until.....

The man who wanted more pie.

Up until this point he rarely made eye contact with anyone in the line. Especially not the kids. He plopped the food on the plate and reached for the next empty Styrofoam sadness shuffling through. People with their entire families in tow. Hungry folks down on their luck and needing not even a hot meal. Just a meal. Families living in cars through no fault of their own. On the street. Raggedy clothes crossing elbows with his Tommy Hilfiger jeans and watch.
Pork 'n beans, wax beans, any beans. Didn't matter. Please feed my child. My little girl is hungry. I saw it in their eyes. The sadness. And the shame.

I was so moved that summer. Apparently, I needed a reality check too. But that was not the point. Was it?

The man would not stop asking and he was forced to look him squarely in the eyes. I could see the wheels turning in baby boy's brown-eyed head..... “Will you shut up? I'm going to get in trouble if you don't go away.”

Silence.

And a hungry stare full of embarrassment that a life-giving gesture lay in the hands of this kid he did not know and would never know - someone young enough to be his grandchild - who held something he wanted.. something he had to beg for. And then I saw my son slip a plump piece of pumpkin delight (with whipped cream) onto the scraped clean empty plate. The man nodded appreciatively, lowered his head, and walked away.

By this time my wet rag had dropped to the table and the cleaning had stopped. My hair in a net, pretending to fold silverware sets, I watched what happened. He saw me sit down. I waited for someone to say something. I waited for him to get in trouble. No one saw his discretion that day but I'll tell you this - If I could have jumped through the tiny little window and wrapped my arms around that boy I would have done so.

He was shuffling his hundred dollar Nike-shod feet standing with a spatula and an empty pan, trying not to look at me. When our eyes finally met, the blur of tears between us said what no lecture ever could. We never talked again about the man, the pie, or his punishment.
But I was proud.

We finished our tour of shelter duty as promised and school started again in the fall.
That was fifteen years ago.

Did that summer stop him from forever being a knuckle-head? No.
Did he straighten-up-and-fly-right from that moment on? No.
Were there more nightmare dreams for me through the teenage years? Yes.

But I have to believe that it shaped his understanding of the world a bit and through all his troubles that most certainly came later, I did see – and continue to see – a great compassion develop in him for people in need.

And to this day, every time I'm offered a a slice of pumpkin pie.... I see a homeless man, a prized piece of dessert and brown-eyed humility.

Mine.

copyright Mimi Lenox

Much To Be Thankful For

May your table be full

and your blessings many

Happy Thanksgivin.....

From my castle to yours

See you after the Holidays!

Mimi's Anatomy

They say I don't need this.

They say I will feel better without it. So tomorrow morning, I will lose part of my pride anatomy. But let's look on the bright side (that was for you, Trav) It's really not my color anyway. I'm sure the organs above and below it could use the room. They must feel cramped from time to time. It's been a slow year for the economy. The nurses and hospital staff might appreciate my business And for heaven's sakes, it looks like a car part.


How fortuitous that I have only one. I'd hate to feel lopsided for the rest of eternity.
And I thought I could deal with losing the lovely balloon-shaped food masher until.....

"You want me to do what?"

"Okay, Miss Pencil Skirt, it's time to talk to the man who is going to put you to sleep."

"I am not a dog."

"Of course, you're not a dog, Miss Skirt...I just mean that....well...he's the anesthesiologist."

"You've been reading my blog, haven't you?"

"Your blog?"

"Everybody on the internet knows that baby boy can spell dog. Are you trying to say he can't spell anesthesiologist? Cause he can ya know.....he can!

"I can spell a.n.e.s.t.h.e.s.i.o.l.o.g.i.s.t. too. See?
"Now, let's go over your instructions for tomorrow's surgery.
#1 NO food or water after midnight, no alcohol beverages, no smoking, no fun. #2 DO NOT wear make-up, nail polish, jewelry, or anything metal in your hair..
**Mimi raises hand**
"Excuse me, but I don't think I can do that."
Ever been ignored? I so hate that.

#3 If you have long hair put it up with a plain rubber band.

Do you realize, Bloggy People, that I had to go purchase one plain rubber band?
That brought the grand total of this little vacation to $2,000,000,000,000 and one cent.
#4 Remove all metal from your body.
And then the earrings had to go. This is too much trauma for me.

I'd better go to sleep now.

I will see you when I wake up.
If not before.

The Queen's Meme #14 ~ Do You Believe In Magic?

Welcome to Tuesday's Queen's Meme #14 told on a WednesdaySometimes silly. Sometimes serious.

Always fun!
Step out of the box. Be creative.

Use your imagination.
No one's answers are quite like yours.

This meme is calledDo you believe in magic?

It's all about those things we can't explain, things that go bump in the night, and other freaktacular occurrences. In this crazy world of ours, what's normal anyway??! We'll even talk about sparks of a pleasurable kind....if you dare. And since I'm in a daring mood, let's get started. Good luck. And please, try to stay out of the dungeon this week.
It's getting cold down there this time of year.
1. Tell us about your superstitions. Do you have any? Do you "x out" black cats on the windshield of your car, avoid cracks in the sidewalk or practice other rituals that make you feel safer?Don't have any? Come on now! Make up some....

Are you kidding? Black cats x ME out.2. Has anything paranormal ever happened to you that you can write about?
Nothing NORMAL has ever happened to me. Paranormal would be a break from reality.

3. Have you ever had a near-death experience?

Care to share?

Actually, yes I have. But that is a blog post for another day. Another life. Another Hereafter.

4. Pheromones...aka "love fireworks" (I think I remember those)...are a force to be reckoned with. Do you believe that two people can have an uncontrollable chemical reaction to each other? How do you know this to be true?

Ummm....Mimi....you didn't say what KIND of uncontrollable reaction. I believe that people who can't control their actions end up uncontrollably reacting to the actions brought about by the uncontrollable actions of others. Oh! You mean chemistry of the hugging and kissing kind? Pffffft! Did I ever tell you about post-divorce boyfriend #2? It's all a blur.

But a very nice blur.

5. Do you believe that modern day witches can put spells on people?

I wish I could find a modern day wench to teach Baby Boy to spell.

Now that would be a trick.

But seriously, there are witches and then there are witches. Both scare the bejeebus out of me whichever way you look at it.

If so, who would you like to hoodoo and why?

Which reminds me.....

6. ESP! What do those letters stand for in your life?

Wait....wait...it's coming to me in a vision.

Shh....I saw it just this morning.

Empty Soup Pantry.

I need to buy groceries.

7. Do you ever hear strange noises in your house?

Need I remind you I have a dungeon? I'm having soundproof walls put in next weekend. I am so sick of the sound of mutiny. I've let people run amok for far too long.
Wanna borrow my hat?

8. Tell us about a time you "knew" something was going to happen before it did. Are you one of those intuitive types or do you know someone who is ? Do tell.
I always know when to GO when the green light changes. How do I know? There's this little thing called a Yellow caution light. I know. I'm amazing.

9. I'm a tad gifted in the dream department. Really. Sometimes my dreams are prophetic and come true. It can be a blessing and a curse. Has this ever happened to you? If not, would you like to have this gift? (Be careful what you wish for. It can be freaky at times.)


I had a recurring dream about a recurring dream. (!) I'm assuming this tragedy is going to happen twice. I told you it was freaky.....

**Note** When I wrote this meme yesterday I fully intended to answer it seriously. But I'm so tired tonight that spoofing came out instead. Sorry! I promise to tell you later about near-death, ghosts in Bloggingham, and the dreams that came true and a few I hope don't come true. But I will leave you with a paranormal occurrence. For real. This photo is straight out of my camera. It was taken outside my dad's Hospice room a few days before he passed away. It was a beautiful night - very late - and I was trying to photograph the moon. Look what we have here. Unbelievable.

Monday Mimisms ~ See Mimi Spell

So I'm hanging out with Baby Boy this weekend and the subject of school comes up.
It is his first year in Kindergarten. A few weeks ago he told me that his favorite subject was "outside." Umm....Ok...I worried a little but then remembered that he is a boy and likes to play outside. This is perfectly normal. Right?

Question #2: "What did you learn in school today?"
"The same thing. We do the same thing every day."So I figured he just didn't want to elaborate 'cause I know they are not teaching my Little Blog Prince the same thing EVERY day. I moved on.

Today he is on the floor coloring and "writing a book." (YAY! Score one for Mimi influence.) He wants "words to go with my pictures." (YAY! He's been reading my blog.) And that might be the case if he could read. So I have to spell all the words in this novel for him (which we stapled together to look like a book).

I spell. He writes.

Chapter one

F.I.R.S.T. B.A.S.K.E.T.B.A.L.L. G.A.M.E.

Chapter 2

F.A.N.S.

Chapter 3

T.H.E. T.E.A.M. W.E.N.T. H.O.M.E.

I don't know if they won but they went home.

Anyway....I asked, "What CAN you spell?"

"Uhh.....uhh....I can spell "cat." See? C.A.T. ""But what is the first word you learned to spell?"
"C.A.T. cat."

"That is the first word you learned to spell? CAT????! Not Mimi, not blog, not peace, not cheetos, not even Felix? CAT??!

"Cat, Mimi. C.A.T. cat."Sigh.


I like to give teachers the benefit of the doubt.
"Baby Boy, what is the second word you learned to spell? What else can you spell?"

"I can spell dog."
"Spell dog, Baby Boy.""Dddddd (sounding it out) O.G. Dog."
"Not politics, aeronautics, geometry, oxymoron, Mississippi? DOG??!
"Good! Very good, Baby Boy......."

I am not amused.


"How do you spell Mimi?""mmmmm.....you help me.""M.I.M.I."
"How do you spell Mom?""mmm........you help me."
"M.O.M.
"How do you spell Dad?""ddddd.......you help me.""D.A.D."
"How do you spell Nana?""nnn.....nnn......you help me.""N.A.N.A.
"How do you spell your last name?!!!"
"I don't know. You help me."He writes them down.

I get an A.S.P.I.R.I.N.
Five minutes pass. We change the subject. I scramble his brain with other chores and drawing.

I asked again, "Baby Boy. How do you spell Mimi?"
"M.I.M.I." he said without hesitation.
"How do you spell Mom?""M.O.M."
Wham! Just like that.
Two 1/2 months of Kindergarten and he can only spell C.A.T. and D.O.G.????

No wonder he needs help writing a novel.
I am going to that school.

Photographs: Public domain

Ain't Got No Time To Grieve

There is a lot going on in my life. I'll spare you.
Someone said to me today, "I'm worried about you. You haven't had time to grieve."
I haven't had time to breathe.
And besides, I can't catch all the leaves that fall.

The world looks wonky.

Sometimes it's bright and a second later it's dark.

Looking out

looks the same
as looking in

Some days are a blur
I might keel over from the dizzies.

Do you mind if I do?

I have a thing or two to say to this wall ya know
That chair wouldn't dare talk back

Don't listen

Sometimes I don't even see me

I want to hide behind a chairand raise my hand

when sunshine is dark
and shadows are light
I don't see things clearly in
black and white
so I just stand in stubborn


and hug myself

I
can't
catch
all
the

l
e
a
v
e
s