The Blue Tea Meme from a Virgin Memer

It started over at Bluewyvern's place, rambled over to Lee's Tarheel abode and stopped here at Bloggingham Palace. I've been tagged. And who would dare to tag the Queen today of all days when she's feeling kinda fiesty and talking in third person just to tick people off and eating no Thanksgiving leftovers because she didn't cook (DUH!) and feeling all left out because she wants a drumstick and a drummer boy and I know I have to wait 'til Christmas for the drummer boy because it's just not a Thanksgiving song but dadburnnit (is that a word?) I'm supposed to be all cheery with the holidays and I just can't because if I hear Brenda Lee sing "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" one more time on the radio before I even get my Christmas tree up I'm going to scream.
So there. I've said it.

OK. I'm over it.

Let's move on, shall we?

Here are the rules according to the Blue Tea person (whose blog I just discovered and love!) And please go over and royally initiate Lee. He's a new blogger -hence his brazen naivete in tagging me - and this is his very first meme. A virgin memer. Wow.

Rules For The Blue Tea Meme: Devise a list of 5-10 courses you would take to fix your life. It's more fun to be in classes with friends, so include one class from the person who tagged you that you'd also like to take. Tag five.

It would take more than ten courses to fix my life but I'll give it a go. This is clever.

1. Cooking 101: Enough said. The last meal I cooked looked like this.

2. Foreign Affairs 303: A hot Cuban dancer with flashing dark eyes and a cha-cha-cha in his caio is really what I mean, but I digress. I need to know in one simple three-paragraph summary in complete-cut-the-political-BS-sentences.

WHY are we still fighting?

3. White House Etiquette 101: I've been trying to get a Peace Globe to the White House forever. They will pay me no nevermind.
I planted one on the staircase once. It still hangs there. See? Click here for the caper that almost landed me in jail.

4. How To Drive In Turtle Traffic: Where I live the traffic looks like this .

I did not learn to dodge watermelons and haystraw in Driver's Ed class. It just wasn't in the curriculum.

Once, however, I proved that I could drive like a wiz in super duber traffic. It only took me seventeen hours to cross the George Washington Bridge. For prerequisite reading, click here.

5. How To Stop Sleep Walking Before You Kill Someone (offered at the county detention center for wayward Queens)

Behold.
The neighbors are really tired of the jazzed up version of Moonlight Sonata in my pink jammies. My largo needs to come in for a landing. But I don't mind. I'm the only one who can hear it anyway. I'm asleep, remember?

6. How To Find Mr. Right 666 (It's a Master's course for me. I already have a Bachelor's degree in How-To-Kill-A-Relationship-In-Sixty-Days-Or-Less) The title of my next book will be Sometimes Hindsight Is Stupid.
Profound, eh? I thought so.

7. Spanish 101: I would like to know if the guy in the supermarket is flirting with me or asking for directions. It's a problemo. Adios is all I can say. Well....senorita (batting eye) no-senora (batting eye) and tall-dark-and-handsome (batting eye). Lord, I'm in such a mood today.

8. Paint Shop Pro with Lee. The rules of this meme say that you have to take a class with the person who tagged you. His classes were piano (I know how), dogs (I just have Homer and he's virtually non-existent), race car driving (already mentioned) and Debating For Dummies -I can do that with the best of dummy debaters. But I would like to know more about PhotoShop/Paintshop and other such programs. It's a must-have course for bloggers.

9. How To Be A Real Queen

Most people think I'm a real Queen. Even I think I'm a real Queen. Here I am with Queen Elizabeth when she was last in the States. She let me wear her white hat and have my picture taken with her.
She looks pleased to meet me, doesn't she?
Maybe one day I won't have to wear this virtual crown.

Either that or learn to say Queen in Spanish.
Sigh.

I royally tag Ev,Hahn, Jeff, Anndi, Margo and Barbara.And don't even think about dodging this meme. I just heard Brenda Lee on the radio again! Queen is in bad spirits today......Somebody better clue Lee in about the dungeon. Everybody knows you can't rock around a Christmas tree you don't have. And who told America they could put up their trees without my permission anyway???!!

Argh.

Recent links to this meme: No Dungeon For Me.....It's The Blue Tea Meme From Bloggingham Palace
Something 'Bout Blue Tea