Behind the Bushes

George! I told you not to let that pencil skirt in here!

Ever since I got arrested my life's been in the toilet. My mother was right, crime doesn't pay. All I did was steal a meme. One lousy question quirkfest and wham (!) I get dissed by the White House.
I could have survived a social snub; even a blacklist rumor... but this....this was just too much.

I had to fly my peace globe at half-glo yesterday.

It wasn't too difficult to sneak past the guards. The couldn't see much under those furry hats anyway.

I did it during the speech. Uh huh. That speech.

I knew the President would read straight from the copy and being the quick-thinking reporter that I am it took only a split Peacoat second to rearrange a few digits.

There were two unhappy Queens yesterday.
Me....and the impersonator.

It wasn't so much that I lost my white-tie, that could be fixed with a little Elmer's straight from the bottle, but I had to delay the wearing of the pencil skirt altogether in order to scrounge about on the ground under the radar - and slip in the royal faux pas.

"And Mimi, about your Prince ......He's not royalty, you know."

The rest was easy.
The crowd laughed.
The faux Queen frowned."Clear over there, Bob? Roger. The coast is clear. Send her on through."
 
And I stepped over a few furry-headed horn players and through the front gate.

It was a breeze. But that wasn't all. Here I am shooting the royal wind with the Queen lady in her pink hat an hour before the ceremony began. She was so glad to see me. After convincing her that it would not be in the best interest of the country - or her reputation - to dance with the President, I got her autograph on a Peace Globe and hid behind a Bush.

"Oh, don't frazzle your fluff over that Mrs. Queen," I said. "I own a castle...er...Bloggingham Palace. Of course, you've heard of it and no, you may not borrow my hat."
 I left a nice present for her on the podium as well. Here's a snippet, in case you missed it. Pay close attention to la Fleur where crown should be.  
I knew she wasn't a Queen.

I think she stole my peonies.

I particularly look forward in the next two days to seeing firsthand how the cutting edge of science and technology can take us to the next phases of discovery and exploration in human endeavor," the queen said in her prepared remarks. "I'll be touring the Peace Globe gallery."

NASA knows not the power of the pencil skirt.

Yet.

The President was Johnny-on-the-spot with a redeeming reply and was heard proclaiming, "Long live the Peace Globes. Jolly good ticket."

Did you hear something, George? There, in those bushes.

Maybe we should call Tenet, George. Did you see a bouncing ball? I know I saw a bouncing cue ball....

Once inside, things were looking up. Thank God the Queen wasn't.

Do you think they're talking about us behind our backs?

You're paranoid, George.

They're so under-dressed!!

And then it was over.
"Here's to you, Your Majesty. May this be the first of many formal dinners in Washington."


"Thank you, Mr. President. There's just one more thing."
"Will that pencil skirt woman be here next time?"

"I'm sorry about that, Elizabeth. I really don't know how our sources could have been so wrong. It won't happen again."

"I really hate to hear you say that, George. I was looking forward to seeing her again. I hear the Blogosphere is lovely this time of year. All those globes flying around proclaiming peace on earth."

And that's my evening at the White House.
I'm bushed! I really should be going. Just let me find boyfriend.....

George! Who let him in here?