Friday, May 21, 2021

Pre-Pandemic Plot Twists



Before the pandemic I did some crazy mirror shopping (no, my legs are not shaped like that......much) and took a lot of pictures of myself taking pictures of myself. All true bloggers know this affliction. I wish I had paid more attention to what the outdoor crystal ball was trying to tell me. It was just before I landed in my own personal mini-pandemic-before-the-pandemic (vile, it was, so vile) and then the whole planet got sick. You've heard of mini strokes? I had a mini-pandemic-before-the-pandemic. Global virus? Pffffft! Please. I dealt with a whole slew of severely malfunctioning people before the first cough coughed. I called it The Plague of Severely Malfunctioning People. It's the underlying cause for all the rest of the plagues in the Holy Bible and on planet Earth as we speak.  People! 
Did I mention people? (not any of you, mind you) Just people. It gave me PPSS (Pre-Pandemic-Stress-Syndrome) and THEN I came down with PPSD (Post-Pandemic-Stress-Disorder) for which there is no cure!  Why? Because people. 
I'm so tired of people. Aren't you tired of people? 
 Still...... I could have used a warning: "Hey Lady! Your reality is about to be distorted!" 
And it was.

 In so many ways.  You can relate, yes?

But adversity makes for good plot-building and great midnight reading. My writing is beginning to gush out of me like a well in the middle of the Sahara AND in the middle of the night. A whole new chapter (maybe a whole new series!) has been practically writing itself in Bloggingham Tales
Coming to a bookstore near you...


If you need me, I'll just be here untwisting my legs (no, I haven't had the Covid vaccination yet....that's next week....my legs are fine!...sort of...stop looking, will ya?) If all goes well at the neurologist - who just wants to look at my pencil brain for a minute or two and ask me a few nosy nerdy questions like 'what day is it' and why are you up at 2am writing a blog post? and tap on my temple to see if anybody's home - we'll get that nasty little jab and be done with it. I know. I know... Some of you are hoping it will change my personality back to whatever-NORMAL-is. Pfffftttt!!! A wise man once said to me, "Who wants normal?"  I bought chicken soup and a new box of Tylenol today just for the lobotomy-inducing-vaccine occasion. You're all invited to the after party. Fun times, no? 
Call for a good whine

I'd better write all this turmoil down. Pre and post. 
She's going to want to know why my legs are twisted. 
It's a long story.

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