Mimi In A Minute #32 ~ I Blame It On The Polar Vortex

These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache.

I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep. 
Do you mind?

I have a few things to say. This is Mimi unplugged.

Hide your children.

The cost of propane is rising, the temperature is dropping, California is scorching and no one on the face of the earth can stop the Arctic from Arctic-ing or that mysterious ghost ship of cannibal rats from drifting across the sea. I'm sick of the cold!!! And I'm scared of rodents. It's the end of the world. I want to hibernate.

We should simply switch coastlines and north and south poles for awhile.  Have you ever wondered what would happen if the world tipped over on its axis and we got the reverse effect of the Arctic blast? That's not a stretch for some people in the news this week. They're in so much hot water even the Arctic air can't fix it. Let's catch up on the news, shall we?

To Justin Bieber:

Stop! 

You have the right to remain sober.  I don't agree that you should be deported back to Canada. I think you should be escorted to Rehab. Yesterday.

Chris Christie: Here's your problem...
If your people had called Justin's people you could have coordinated a lane shutdown on the George Washington Bridge. Instead we have to watch both races come to a screeching halt on opposite sides of the country. The toll fee for his fancy car alone would have paid for the rest of your campaign. Think next time!

Dear Polar Vortex: I cannot afford toe socks right now, much less another tank of propane gas. Please go back wherever you came from. 

Mike Huckabee: who unbelievably said this week and I quote,"
(women) ..."they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of government."

As I recall and if you wanna get Blechnical (that's blog + technical for all you non-blog readers)... God banished naked Adam from Paradise first for disobedience.  Eve and her naked self stood alongside Adam's naked self by the Tree of Good and Evil. He blamed the woman (she did it!) as soon as he got in trouble with God in the first place.
That yin yang still does not fall far from the tree.

Is there an app for that?

And please, Adam and Eve, for the love of all that is Republican and Holy,

put some clothes on

It's cold.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.  

Brrrrrrrrr!!!


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