The Last Time I Murdered A Maraca...

This meme will make no sense. Do not expect it to. It has no rhyme or reason. There is no serious theme or deep thought required. Just answer with the first thought that pops into your brain and go with it. After all, that's how I made up the questions. Stop rolling your eyes.

When was the last time you……

rolled your eyes
at my mother this afternoon. She sent me to my room. The problem occurred when she realized she'd actually sent me to HER room....which used to be MY room once upon a teenage time.
She was not amused when I jumped on her bed.

Tied your shoe
At least 20 times yesterday on my walk. It was a nuisance!

reorganized your bedroom
Constantly. Although the reorganization was so massive last time that I've filed chapter 13 in my bedroom and started from scratch. But I'm lovin' ' the Zen feel. OHHHMMMMM..

Took a walk in the park
I walk an hour a day. Every day. My backyard is the "park".
Sometimes I walk Homer.

Chewed gum
I hate gum.

drew a stick person
Kindergarten. 1910.

activated something
My cellphone. You change your password you have to activate your email. Since I change my password every hour due to the RIDICULOUSNESS (is that a word?) showing up lately in my inbox, I'm a busy girl. But since my mother taught me to "consider the source" I shake my head and ignore it.... AFTER I change my password. Again. Mama didn't raise no fools.

Took a photograph

Just for you.

Drank a milkshake
I rewarded myself with a vanilla Frosty from Wendy's Friday afternoon. YUMMMM.

ate orange jello
Why do you ask?

google mapped an address
Yesterday. I am meeting friends (blogger friends!! Yay!) this week for drinks and live music somewhere nice and cozy. I now have directions.
Ahem: Ferd, oh buddy oh pal.....are you and the Princess bringing the Queen a blind date? Hmmmm?


sang your favorite song
On Facebook Friday. "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood".....then others filled in the chorus and we had quite a nice little FB choir. I've been known to sing it over the loud speaker at work. Don't get me started.

made a peace globe. (Please show us!)


Threw a baseball
At a carnival. Daddy taught me well.

Fumbled with a button
Whose button is it? Cause the story could go in either direction depending on the owner of that delicious button. Just sayin'....

answered the doorbell
Saturday afternoon. It was a Census worker. I can't relive it again. But I'll tell you in a later post. ...I don't think the government is ready for me.

Spilled your drink
an hour ago.

administered CPR
after the button fumbling. It seemed the INappropriate thing to do

looked in the mirror
For you



testified in court
Not yet but the day is young

Made a sarcastic remark

Bwaahhahaahaa!

Offered someone advice
My son last week. We went to dinner Thursday night at our favorite Mexican restaurant.
He wanted to talk about his love life.

Shut up Homer.

His phone never stopped ringing. I told him as long as his phone rang he didn't need help with his love life. Deep, no? Then I watched him approach a lovely dark haired waitress on the way out the door and ask her out. He held a conversation with her in perfect Espanol. The boy needs no help let me tell ya. I need a translator, but he needs no help.

Then I wanted to talk about MY love life. He didn't want to hear about the garlic kisser. Nada.

Watched a sunrise or sunset
Last night. You figure out which.

Were jealous
First grade. 1911. Susie wanted to play the drum in the class toy marching band. Mimi wanted to play the drum in the class toy marching band. We had uniforms and everything!Teacher gave Susie the beautiful drum. I hated Susie until I realized that the maracas were much better and matched my naturally curly hair. Success is the best revenge. Didn't you know that? What a destructive emotion.



Smiled when you didn't feel like smiling
When daddy was sick and he needed me to smile. If he could crack jokes on the 3am hall of horror while hooked up to tubes, then I could smile when I felt like sobbing. But only in his presence. The rest of the time, in private and in the hallway or with my friends, I had a hard time holding it together.



Loved when you didn't feel like loving
Sometimes in the heat of the moment when you're all out of patience with someone and you don't understand why they are acting the way they are and all you really want to do is give them a piece of your mind and call it a day, a glimmer of understanding sometimes appears that helps you look past their faults and see that they are acting out of their own past hurts and insecurities. It takes you out of the role of victim and into the realm of compassion. You don't have to like the person who causes you pain or becomes your nemesis......but if you have a snowball's chance in hell of finding peace yourself, then you'd better be willing to entertain the possibility that it happened FOR you and not TO you. Love is a strong thing to hope for when unlovable things are done to you, but it's the only aspiration that counts in the long run.


Ironed an article of clothing
I hate to iron. Truly. I hate it. I don't buy things that need ironing. I get this affliction from my Aunt Mary. When I was a little girl she had an "ironing woman." She hated ironing so much that she hired someone to come in and do it for her. I loved "Pearl" and would spend hours talking to her while she ironed my favorite uncle's starchy white business shirts. The smell of the iron, the hiss of the water sprinkling on the cloth and the steam made for sizzling conversation.... and Pearl's raucous laugh still makes me smile.

noticed you didn't give a damn
About what? Mimi really! These questions are so misleading.

had a mammogram
August 2009. Every year. Without fail. Here's why.

Read your horoscope
There's a great website called The Horoscope Junkie. I love it! Rumor has it there lurks in the stratosphere a powerful discharge of Neptunian energy all the way through November 7th. I don't know what that means but I'm ready.

moped
First grade. 1912. I wanted to go to the 2nd grade. They held me back. And why??
Because I played the maracas too damn well.
In this case success was NOT the best revenge.

Held someone’s hand
Garlic kisser's. Such nice hands.

Newsflash! My horoscope for today reads: "You're well know (and well loved) for your bluntness, honesty and openness under most circumstances, but you're just about to encounter a situation that could be tricky, at best, for the rest of us. If you're about to surprise yourself, you can just imagine how others are going to feel, especially those who aren't as sturdy as you. Lend a hand, if you can."

Where was advice when I needed it??!!!

Crossed a bridge

And he had the nerve to reply, "Don't cross me!!" Some bridges can be so testy.

threw away a candy wrapper
I swore off candy 4 months ago.

Sat on a bench
3 hours ago

turned a page
Last night. I should have read that horoscope first.....

tripped over your own 2 feet
Not lately, believe it or not.


Sat on a beach
Not lately and I'm really bummed about that.

dialed the wrong number
Yesterday. It was Susie from the 1st grade.

Ignored a phone call
There are a few I wish now I hadn't ignored.

Kissed a bride
A few weeks ago. This is my best friend Barbie blowing bubbles at the reception.

tweeted
You should know that!

Rode a roller coaster
I'm afraid of heights.

you were really you
I am me 24/7. It's the rest of you I'm worried about.....

Cried yourself to sleep
The night before my dad came to comfort me.

Were speechless
Before I learned to talk. It's been nonstop ever since.

rode a bus
Choir tour. 1993. Canada. University of Toronto performance....on to Niagara, Ithaca, and the ride from Hades up and down the East Coast in that fume-filled bus with forty divas and musicians. I had to share a moving bathroom. It was hell!!!!

went to a funeral
October 29, 2009

were right
It was the 80s. I was right until I got left. Did you get that?
smoked
Are we talking dance floor or wacky week? The former, HOT. The latter, NEVER.

were left
in a steam-filled car without my garlic kisser. Don't make me go there again! You can't make me! (and yet, Mimi, you keep bringing it up)
I hope my horoscope is wrong. Why do I have such a strange feeling??

googled
I am googling now.

bent over
This morning stirring my breakfast on the stove.

sent a text message
This afternoon. The power went off. I sent pictures of the storm we had today to some friends (you know who you are)

Lit a candle
I light candles all the time. It's a regular voodoo parlor around here.

Lost your temper
Susie hung up on me. And I was so into forgiveness today.
I only broke one maraca.

fell off a horse
True story. I was 12. His name was "Silver." He hated me.
The feeling was mutual.

changed the oil in your car
Daddy always did that. The other day my brother called. He simply said, "Have you changed the oil in your car lately?" I burst into tears.

Added a new FACEBOOK friend
checking now on the latest surprising addition to my social life....be right back....

went bowling
Never. Umm no. Just no.

Laughed uncontrollably
At the thought of going bowling. I could break a nail.

Felt guilty
I just murdered a maraca. What do you think?

Looked up a word in the dictionary
There is no such word as "a word" in the dictionary. I just looked. Mimi! That was a wild goose chase and it wasted my time.

**This just in from Facebook. I now have 830 "friends." The latest is a married man from Venezuela whose name I can't pronounce.**

returned from the point of no return
Can I get back to you on that?

couldn't remember your name
Every morning before the first cup of coffee.

surrendered to temptation
I am tempted to ditch my own meme.

felt genuinely happy
Now

saw a famous person

kissed in a car
Haven't we all heard enough about that?

Sent a greeting card
Mother's Day. Princess Patti, I'm sorry yours would not open.

used your passport
Akelamalu takes me on all of her exotic trips to places around the world. I hide in her suitcase.
I do not need a passport. This week we're in Scotland!

yelled at your television
When Crystal Bowersox didn't win American Idol. And why? I was cheering for Lee. My hero.

confided a secret
I told Homer what happened on my recent hiatus and now the whole blogsophere knows.

changed your blog template
Which blog? I only have 52. I kid you not.

danced like no one was watching
You were watching weren't you....

wrote in cursive
When I wrote a check at the dry cleaners. Darn! This meme is so long I've lost my snark. I should have said....the last time I signed an autograph.

took a driving test
It's time. I'll warn you now. Get off the roads.

Backed up your computer files
Daily.

When was the last time you said this was the last time?

When I wrote that question.
The first person to roll their eyes at this meme is going to the dungeon!!

**Facebook update** - I now have 829 friends. His wife must be reading my meme.
The price of fame.

*photography: Mimi Lenox*