Do Not Try This At Home

All memes are not equal. This one is full of holes.

Frank aka Foxxfyrre aka Honk'n Hollr devised a clever one in which you not only fill in the blank but you create the blankety-blank to be filled. Did you get that?
It's called "Things You Shouldn't Say Around ______" Now I saw the way some of you handled this meme. Some chose people to talk to, others chose people to talk to and most chose people to talk to. But I've been having some wild conversations in the blogosphere this week and the strangest (unbloggable) dreams. So I wanted to channel my inner strangeness and have a conversation with something totally different. This is an experiment. I have no idea what I'm going to do. Isn't that exciting??! Let me set the spooky stage.

Shoes are off
Lights are off
Long white flowing nightgown is on
Ouija board is halfway out of the box
Bible is open across the room in case the Ouija board really works

Thirty-two candles are burning
Imaginary incense (the real thing gives me a headache)
Strange Eastern guitar music is playing.....
I said the Lord's Prayer, 3 Hail Marys and The Pledge of Allegiance.
That should cover it.

And then....I sat cross-legged on the floor to try and conjure up something not to talk to.
Hummmmmmm......yuuummmmm........oohhmmmmmmmmmm......ooohhhmmmmmmm.......

Oops. Excuse me. Forgot to close the blinds. Be right back. Mrs. Smith is so nosy.Fee....Fi......Fooo.........FooooOhhmmmmmm.........ohhhmmmmmm......


Things You Should Never Say Around a Ouija Board
(unless you really wanna know)

1. Who shot JR?

2. Is it the same person who was on the grassy knoll?

3. What's really in fishsticks?

4. If I could play all my old 45 records backwards would they spell out the secrets

of the universe? Or at the very least tell me how to get a bigger tax refund?

5. What did Aunt Margaret throw in Uncle Edward's coffin?
6. Are ghosts real?
7. Were all my boyfriends faithful to me?
8. Was I a fish or a pumpkin in another life? And would that explain why I hate

Halloween carvings and sushi?

9. Are pantyhose runs made by the fingernails of Satan?

10. What did I say in my sleep the last time I was under anesthesia? I hardly

think my ruptured appendix was laughable.

11. What were my parents really doing that summer they locked me out of the

beach cottage for an hour?

12. Is Jimmy Swaggart related to Rush Limbaugh?

13. Do men actually mean it when they say, "I know it's our third date and we
haven't had sex yet but it's ok, sweetie. I can wait. You're soooo special."

14. How much wool did it really take to pull it completely over my mother's eyes

and is there any left?

15. If angels are real then why don't they ever show up when I have a flat tire?
16. Does God really have my missing socks?
17. Is it Ok if I wear white at my next wedding?

18. What was my son really thinking when I told him, "You're grounded for a week."19. Is "You're so photogenic!" secret code for "You're really ugly in person?"

20. Who in the hades invented liver pudding? And why?

21. ARE there more fish in the sea??!

And now for my next trick....