Friday, August 17, 2007

Do Not Try This At Home

All memes are not equal. This one is full of holes.

Frank aka Foxxfyrre aka Honk'n Hollr devised a clever one in which you not only fill in the blank but you create the blankety-blank to be filled. Did you get that?
It's called
"Things You Shouldn't Say Around ______" Now I saw the way some of you handled this meme. Some chose people to talk to, others chose people to talk to and most chose people to talk to. But I've been having some wild conversations in the blogosphere this week and the strangest (unbloggable) dreams. So I wanted to channel my inner strangeness and have a conversation with something totally different. This is an experiment. I have no idea what I'm going to do. Isn't that exciting??! Let me set the spooky stage.

Shoes are off
Lights are off
Long white flowing nightgown is on
Ouija board is halfway out of the box
Bible is open across the room in case the Ouija board really works

Thirty-two candles are burning
Imaginary incense (the real thing gives me a headache)
Strange Eastern guitar music is playing.....
I said the Lord's Prayer, 3 Hail Marys and The Pledge of Allegiance.
That should cover it.

And then....I sat cross-legged on the floor to try and conjure up something not to talk to.

Oops. Excuse me. Forgot to close the blinds. Be right back. Mrs. Smith is so nosy.Fee....Fi......Fooo.........FooooOhhmmmmmm.........ohhhmmmmmm......

Things You Should Never Say Around a Ouija Board
(unless you really wanna know)

1. Who shot JR?

2. Is it the same person who was on the grassy knoll?

3. What's really in fishsticks?
4. If I could play all my old 45 records backwards would they spell out the secrets
of the universe? Or at the very least tell me how to get a bigger tax refund?

5. What did Aunt Margaret throw in Uncle Edward's coffin?
6. Are ghosts real?
7. Were all my boyfriends faithful to me?
8. Was I a fish or a pumpkin in another life? And would that explain why I hate
Halloween carvings and sushi?
9. Are pantyhose runs made by the fingernails of Satan?

10. What did I say in my sleep the last time I was under anesthesia? I hardly
think my ruptured appendix was laughable.

11. What were my parents really doing that summer they locked me out of the
beach cottage for an hour?
12. Is Jimmy Swaggart related to Rush Limbaugh?

13. Do men actually mean it when they say, "I know it's our third date and we
haven't had sex yet but it's ok, sweetie. I can wait. You're soooo special."
14. How much wool did it really take to pull it completely over my mother's eyes

and is there any left?
15. If angels are real then why don't they ever show up when I have a flat tire?
16. Does God really have my missing socks?
17. Is it Ok if I wear white at my next wedding?

18. What was my son really thinking when I told him, "You're grounded for a week."19. Is "You're so photogenic!" secret code for "You're really ugly in person?"

20. Who in the hades invented liver pudding? And why?

21. ARE there more fish in the sea??!

And now for my next trick....


Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

wow mimi! how are you not falling in the ocean? you really are magic!!

smiles, bee

Linda said...

Next time you're talking to your Ouija Board, could you please ask it how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I have always wanted to know the answer to that one!

Anndi said...

Is it safe to ask it why men end up with hair in their ears when the hair on their head disappears?

FoxxFyrre said...


Great job Mimi, but even I wouldn't dare temp the fates by asking what's really in fish sticks.

anndi--hair in the ears is always too soon!. It's an evil plan barbers have had for years so they can charge more for hair cuts for finder's fees.

Talk to you soon Mimi, my internet is still down, but I am sneaking in a little at work.

Sanni said...

Bwahahahaaaa - I. Can´t. Breathe.

No, there´s not fishbone in my throat... but ... excuse me please while I try to get rid of yesterday´s lunch... fish sticks.

Lizza said...

Do you really want to know the answer to #7? You crazy lady.

Please ask the ouija board if non-fattening chocolate will ever be invented.

Akelamalu said...

You didn't say

"Is there anybody there"!


Patti said...

I'm with Linda - please find out the answer to that wood chuck question for us.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bee - I'm trying not to get my skirt wet but it ain't easy with that guy! My back is sore. I wish he'd let me down now.

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda and Patti - I do NOT believe this!! I was actually going to type that question!! We must have been pumpkins in a prior life together. Spooooky.

I'll see what I can do.

Mimi Lenox said...

Anndi - Valid question but I think Frank may have the answer.

Frank - Sorry about your computer woes. This was a great meme. Thanks for creating it.

Mimi Lenox said...

Sorry Sanni! Are you feeling better dear?

Mimi Lenox said...

Lizza - I'll ask about the chocolate. I forgot that! And I'm sufficiently tired of the Ouija board for one lifetime.
And no, only the last boyfriend am I sure of faithfulness. The rest are ancient (and curious) history.
Best left thrown back in the it were.

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - GOOD ONE!! I think I was subconsciously afraid to ask.

Patti - I'm working on the woodchuck question for ya!

Anndi said...

Frank's a genious LOL!

Ralph said...

As with the fish sticks, I wonder what's in chicken croquettes and cream corn as well...

Dan said...

Do men actually mean it when they say, "I know it's our third date and we
haven't had sex yet but it's ok, sweetie. I can wait. You're soooo special."

Of COURSE we mean it! Do you suspect we don't? :)

Travis said...

Sorry...I was distracted by the setting of the mood. Shoes off, lights off, lots of candles, long white flowing..........




Was there something else?

Mimi Lenox said...

Ralph - Just don't think about it.....

Travis - Silly!

Mimi Lenox said...

Dan - Uh huh.

Patti said...

Waiting patiently for the answer....

kathleenmaehr said...

You're the greatest, Mimi. I know that half-full, half-empty maxim, but no matter how I might admonish myself, if I were asking No. 7? The question would be: Were ANY of my boyfriends faithful? And I'd be glad to accept "faithful for the first month" as a qualified yes.

Mimi Lenox said...

Patti - He said He'd get to your woodchuck question as soon as He finishes with a number of baptisms and communions this morning.

K???!! Can you exercise some patience here??!

Mimi Lenox said...

Kathleen You're scaring me!

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