Mimi In A Minute #25 ~ I'd Say We Have A Situation

These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache.

I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep. 
Do you mind?

I have a few things to say. This is Mimi unplugged.

Hide your children.

Scientists have now discovered that female tears cause a chemical reaction in men that makes them flee
NOW you tell me

To Vitamin D or not to Vitamin D:   It's the Sunshine Vitamin! One day it is good for you the next day it'll kill ya.  That is why I'm still crying.



To the members of Congress who sat side by side during the State of the Union Address last week:

What a simple symbolic statement of the power of INTENT. I don't care if it's hokey. I don't care if it's called "date night".  I don't even care if it's superficial. 

It was brilliant.

Here they are for a photo op just 3 days before the Arizona shootings.
Why does it take a tragedy to force an attempt at unity?

To ALL Internet Providers:

We all want an unlimited plan

See that tiny speck on the right tower? That's me trying to flip the switch. AGAIN.

Dear iPhone developers:

Please devise an app for Manners

Thank you,

Mimi Pencil Skirt

President Obama talking to Egyptian President Mubarak on the phone

I hope you have an unlimited calling plan.

Guys....I think we have a situation.

This is no time to get our wires crossed

It was required reading in the 9th grade..

Does anyone else find it Toffler-ishly surreal that the world's most serious situations are being played out on Twitter and Facebook and YouTube right before our universal eyes? 

To the Egyptian people

30 years is enough
I want to stand and cheer.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.

Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.

Lights out.

Photos: Public Domain

Appily Yours

This is my kitchen table.

God grant me the strength to reach for these instead of the Cheetos bag.

Orange ya glad you stopped by?

Have some fruit.

Photography: Mimi Lenox

We Remember

Do you remember where you were when this happened?

I do.

...and the sinking feeling of disbelief in the pit of my stomach as I watched the Challenger launch on television that day.

The crew of Space Shuttle mission pose for their official portrait on November 15, 1985. In the back row from left to right:  Ellison Onizuka, Sharon Christa McAuliffe, Greg Jarvis, and Judy Resnik.
In the front row from left to right: Michael J. Smith, Dick Scobee, and Ron McNair.

Just like that...hope, excitement and promise turned to horror.

Four miles above the earth, an apparent fireball, and then they fell into the ocean. What has always haunted me about that scene was the stillness and plumes of smoke and water vapor falling falling falling.....  No one realized at the time that the astronauts may have been conscious for another 2  minutes and 45 seconds, as later reports revealed that three of the four emergency air containers had been activated before the Shuttle hit the water. On board Challenger was an American flag, dubbed the Challenge flag, that was sponsored by Boy Scout Troop 514 of Monument, Colorado.  Upon recovery of the Challenger, it was found intact, still sealed in its plastic container. The flag was later returned to the Troop 514 in a special ceremony.

(source Wikipedia)

How could it possibly have been 25 years ago?
I will always remember the crew of The Challenger.
What were your thoughts that day?

Images: Public Domain

I Need A Laugh ~ Don't You?

Only The Thimble Knows

Welcome to The Queen's Meme #69 

Are you bored? Well I'm about to perk you up with a few board game questions. Ever played Pick Up Stix? It's a blast. My brothers and I used to play every weekend at my aunt's house.  Pretend you're 12, pop a big bowl of popcorn, stretch out on the carpet or set up the card table and let's play! Oh, BTW... These are my games and my rules. Just so ya know...

1. Twister

Who would you like to get your arms and legs tangled up with?

Hugh Jackman. You thought I'd say something else?

2. Monopoly

You have just landed on Boardwalk and collected a nice sum in rent payments.

Which Monopoly token do you want to be when you grow up?

The thimble is the only logical choice.  It has no character or personality whatsoever.  Therefore, I get to fill it up with whatever imagination I wish. What kind of story shall I write today....only the thimble knows.

3. Candyland

This game is based on The Legend of The Lost Candy Castle. Did you know that? The object of the game is to reach the Candy Castle. But in my game, the object is to avoid the dungeon that is in the Candy Castle.  You must swim through the Ice Cream Sea to be victorious.

What is your flavor?

Vanilla with chocolate fudge and cherries

4. Operation

You are the surgeon. You have the tweezers in your hand. It is time to remove the most irritating person or thing in your life.
What is the name of this organ?

Procrastination is Thy name.

5. Sorry!

I often say that success is the best revenge. Lucky for you!
Sorry! is a game of sweet revenge. 

What is your strategy for success today?

To put one foot in front of the other and do the best I can do. 

There is no secret to success. Show up. Be who you really are with all the passion, authenticity and integrity you have. 

6. Wheel of Fortune!

It's your spin. You have just landed on a surprise vacation package. 

It's yours if you can name the destination with 3 vowels and 2 consonants.  

A-R-U-B-A !

7. Clue

Miss Scarlet (that's you) is in the Library with the knife. Who did she kill and why?

She killed the Devil of Procrastination and finished this meme.  

 Join us!

Monday Mimisms ~ I Need A Lumberjack. And Fast.

Happy Monday!

I just looked out the window. It is dreaaaarrrry with a capital D. No leaves on the trees. Brown grass on the ground. Mutilated baby leaves strewn about. I can now peek through the woodsy wilderness to see large downed trees and logs lying on the ground leaving empty spaces and holes in the architecture of walled bark I called My Bloggingham. Depressing. Who is going to remove all those ice-ravaged trees? A man with an axe to grind would be a welcome sight about now.

A balmy 15 degrees greeted me this morning when my tender Queen feet hit the bedroom floor.

I am sick of cold weather. SICK of it.

Much to my delight, we are expecting yet another snowstorm in the next 24 hours. 

Let me clarify what a snowstorm means in the South.

Snow + storm = Disaster

Snow + storm = 0 food in the grocery store

It doesn't even have to be a storm. If we hear S-N-O-W we think it means storm.

There are no chains on tires here. Lots of ATVs but no salt trucks. We have an abundance of wood stoves and fireplaces but very few bear rugs. Why?  We don't shoot bears in the south, just deer and rabbits and the occasional rabid squirrel.  Everything closes including your local doctor and pharmacy, Meals-On-Wheels, court, prayer meetings, ambulance service is only for real emergencies (not broken nails) and the school football field becomes a crowded Winterfest of makeshift coca-cola sign sleds and potential broken bones. Forget the doctor or ambulance, however, if you need one. It's a helluva day to cancel prayer meetings. Elderly people have to eat peanut butter sandwiches instead of hot meals and nobody NOBODY owns more than one hat *(except moi)*... I get funny looks in the produce aisle wearing black Russian fur let me tell ya. Prissy Yankee woman, go back home!
I hear the jabs.

Why do Southerners rush out to buy milk and bread anyway? When the power goes out in an ice storm the milk goes bad. Seems to me that non-dairy Cheetos would be a better choice.

I intend to wrap myself up like the snow bunny I am and sit this one out.

I'll be wearing my black hat.  

Smirk if you must.

And Now A Word From Baby Boy

So we'd been to dinner. My barbecue (yes, I said BBQ for all you Mimi-cholesterol-watchers) was not a good choice because it was too dry but he had a fine time eating all my hushpuppies and dipping them in the ranch dressing nonetheless. While I finished a salad and cup of coffee, he sat snuggled under my arm in the restaurant booth because he'd cut his finger a little and needed some Mimi TLC. I did manage to hide one hushpuppy from him, but barely. 

On the way home, as promised, we stopped to get a hot fudge sundae. I promised him it would make his finger better. And besides, it would not be a food outing for us without one, even in twenty-something temperatures. I decided to wait until I stopped driving to eat mine but he used the little orange plastic spoon to dive right in from his usual backseat perch in the rear view mirror.

"YUM! Yummmmmyyyeeeeeee. Hot fudge sundaes are the best, aren't they Baby Boy?"
"Yep.....but do they make 'em on Mondays too?"

Oh, that child.

It's A Music Meme-O-Versary

In case you haven't heard, the popular music meme known as Five on Friday is celebrating an important milestone today.  It's the brainchild of my blogging bud Travis, author of Trav's Thoughts.  Last year he decided to try his hand at meme creation and came out with a hit! Basically it's a day to post your favorite 5 tunes on Friday and share your play list with other players. It's a bit like Share-Your-iPod in the blogosphere. 

 On Trav's blog you'll find intelligent and thoughtful prose, professionally presented Dancing With The Stars reviews, sports analysis, funny memes and inspirational pieces. He is also a master storyteller, historian, peace blogger to the core (an original member of the Peace Globe Worker Bees known as "Dancing Bee") and undiscovered talented poet. 
You can find his original poetry here.

Please join the growing list of participants and take part in the musical conversation on Fridays with Travis and gang or stop in and have a listen if you're not a memer.

Congratulations, Dancing Bee, and thanks for creating such a straightforward and user-friendly meme that so many enjoy.  

It's time for CAKE!

Are You Playing This Piano Bar Tomorrow Night?

Welcome to The Queen's Meme #68.

It's called the Basic Music Theory Meme 101

It's simple! Answer the questions and/or identify the following very basic music symbols and tell us what you think they mean. You can answer correctly (don't peek in the dictionary!) or you can spoof 'em. I'm talking to you, Coopernicus. Can you snark something this academic?

I have a music degree which isn't a bit fair and caused me great angst trying to choose the correct answer or the funny ones. So I did both.  What fun!! Hope you enjoy. And please play along with us!

1. What is the symbol above called?

It is an eyechart. Apparently I am blind.

(It is the musical staff of five lines and four spaces upon which modern music is written.)

2. Imagine you are playing saxophone and suddenly see the symbol above in your music score. What do you do?

I would throw my sax across that tennis net to score 10 points. Wouldn't you?

(It means 10 measure of rest in the same meter. Notated to conserve space and simplify)

3. And this ornate object is???

A sideways beauty pageant crown. Duh. 
(C clef also known as the Alto clef)

4. Are these two rests equal or unequal in value?

They apparently aren't even speaking to each other! 
(Quarter rests equivalent to quarter notes in value)

5. Name at least 2 things missing from the Treble and Bass clef show below that would be seen in an actual piece of music.

So many things that would make this musical and lovely. Hugh Jackman comes to mind...

(Brackets, measure lines, measures, a time signature, double bar line, tempo markings, stems on the notes, a key signature, dynamic markings, and no musical alphabet letter names would be seen etc etc)

Oo la la! Scandalously French and out of place.

6. Why is the treble clef above always getting in trouble? What is wrong with it?

(It is a French violin clef from the 17th/18th century and is no longer used. Standard modern Treble clef signs are placed on the 2nd line of the staff up from the bottom, hence the alternate name G clef)

7. What is the name of this note?

Curly

(It is a 32nd note. Its value depends on the time signature placed at the beginning of the piece. Since there is no time signature (ie: 4/4  2/4  3/8  6/8  etc) we are going to assume the quarter note gets the beat. There are eight 32nd notes in one beat if the quarter note gets the beat. It would take 32 of these to equal 4 beats in 4/4 time (8 x 4 = 32)
A 32nd note is one/32th the length of a 4/4 bar.)

8. What is the key signature in the piece of music below?

A MAJOR problemo to answer when the score is all fuzzy, Mimi. BTW The English translation of this is the popular Christmas carol "O Come All Ye Faithful".  Look at it again and sing it to yourself. See? No. Not C. A. A is the key (the relative minor key is f#). Even majorly fuzzy.

BONUS! The correct answer will keep you out of the dungeon for awhile.

9.  What is the last note on a piano keyboard?

"I forgot to get your phone number. Are you playing this piano bar tomorrow night?"

(C. See?)

Monday Mimisms ~ You Can't Beet That!

I'm telling you it's the curse of the 666.

The sign of the devil

The end of the world

Yesterday on my infamous blog known as Dating Profile of The Day, I posted crazy Bachelor #6 6 6. Notice how I spread out the numbers and didn't let them sit side-by-side. That's on purpose you see...if you don't write them side-by-side they lose some of their evil power. That's what a priest told me in the wee dark side of the early morning hours today when I ran screaming to the phone hyperventilating and dialing Find-A-Priest-911.
Then I looked down to see myself wearing red flannel pants (it's cold here ya know) and screamed again.

They had to go. 

Then I looked at my blog colors and saw R E D.

Two signs of the devil in one day.

It has to go.

And for the record, I am NOT responsible if your blogs blow up should you click any link in this post if you are not holding a cross north and south in your left hand. 
 In all my nearly five years of finding dating profile errors and words that make no sense in public, one thing has remained true: nothing has changed. People still hit the publish button before they proofread, no one in the known Universe owns a dictionary and men AND women say the most outlandish and ridiculous things in their online dating profiles. You would think that after enjoying notoriety on famed sights such as Match dot Dumb and Something's Fishy they'd think twice before murking the waters with all manner of English language slaughter. But no. It just gets worse!

Now I'm the first to admit that I'm not always grammatically astute. Have you ever read one of my 50 word run-on sentences? But at least mine have a deliberate purpose. Everybody knows that means I'm holding my breath until I finish what I have to say. Don't you do that?

I thought so.

There's not much I can do to top Bachelor #6    6    6   or erase its lasting effect on my bloglife. At least not today. If my Granny were still alive she'd bury a black-eyed pea in the backyard, say some mumbo jumbo over her snuff can and I'd be done with this whole nasty devil business but she's gone to Glory and I'm stuck with evil of my own blog making.
The priest told me to boil a red beet in water in a black kettle over a fire pit situated on the northwest corner of an acre of land in the Sahara Desert and I'd be just fine. I can't go anywhere today. My hair's a mess!!!

So here I stand defrocked of all my flannel redness including the matching Red Strawberry Parfait lip gloss which my mother swears is the reason all that crazy kissin' occurred last year in the life of her hell bound daughter who had just settled in for a long winter's nap with Mr. Wrong which should really be the title of my blog anyway when this whole catastrophic Biblical event happened in the first place.

I'm in hot voodoo doodoo.

Is that one word or two?

I'm going to buy beets.