"Ewwwwww. That's gross! They're kissing. I can't watch this part."
Hide your eyes, Baby Boy.
I'm watching this spectacle of "dating" in a ho-hum kinda way wondering how in the world these people got themselves into such a predicament.
Gal #1: Brunette. "In love" with said bachelor. Hellbent on convincing him he's in love with her as well. After she thanks him for protecting her and her picnic muddy water lunch from a growling hippopotamus, they spend the night under the stars in an African tree house. Candles. Wine. Elegant surroundings if you count the leaves..... And elephants and lions making elephant and lion noises underneath the mosquito net right along with them. It was a zoo in there I'll tell ya.
Silently clapping for love and romance in my naivete way I think, "Ahhh..isn't that sweet? He's going to ask her."
Gal #2: Blond. Southern. Down-to-earth. Single mother. Wholesome persona. Little itty bitty beautiful black dress with sequins ("I'm one lucky man," he quipped as she approached him in the African moonlight.) After an uncomfortable elephant ride and dinner under the stars they retire to the "Fantasy Couple's Suite" in the jungle - after she makes it disappointingly clear to him that there will be no hanky panky.
She confesses, "I need to tell you that I am falling in love with you," she exclaims with a timid wide-eyed Bambi look.
Eureka!! You TOO?
Baby Boy: "But he was just kissing HER!!
The OTHER one!"
You noticed that too, Baby Boy?
" I wish he'd stop dating 'em and just ask one of 'em to marry him already."
Me too, Baby Boy, me too.
Gal #3: Blond. Intelligent. Fun. Real. Inquisitive. Confident. Dental school. Obviously crazy about The Bachelor. But eyes him with a puzzled look throughout his matrimonial grilling of her future intentions with him.
The girl ain't buying it.
Neither am I.
She is the one I've waited for. Since the moment we met there's been an incredible amazing connection. I know that in a couple of weeks I'll make the decision to take one of them for a wife and she is top of my list! I have waited patiently-while-playing-Tarzan-in-The-Tent with Gal #1 and #2 for the real love of my life. It is she! My Love. My Commitment. My reason for life.
He dumps her.
Of course he does.
It's a reality show.