Monday Mimisms ~ On Vacation To Never NeverLand

And where might that be?
Well, it occurred to me today that for the next seven days I could do exactly what I want to do......if I wanted to. So I asked myself, When do you ever just do nothing?"
"Never."
When do you ever veg on the couch and watch TV?
"Never."
When do you ever just lounge around in bed and read a book all.day.long?
"Never!"
When do you ever forget about the To Do List, peace globe tracking, dishwashing, career stuff and responsibilities due as in yesterday?
"Never."

So I've decided to challenge myself to a Never Neverland Vacation and see if I really CAN do it. Those who know me well will understand that this will be a challenge. I shall make myself (gulp) RELAX. Yes. I shall. For seven days.

Oh. There is one more perk to this blogvation. I will also enjoy the attentions of one very tall man with a mischievous grin who told me last night, "I would like to interrogate you further." (ha!)



Don't be alarmed. He's an ex-police officer. He speaks in a language I've yet to decipher. Little does he know he's talking to a woman who owns a dungeon.

Homer will not be in charge because he can't keep his mouth shut about my love life.
If you need me, I'll be second to the left and straight on til morning   in the interrogation room under a light bulb...or something like that.

Men!

Dona Nobis Pacem ~ Christmas 2010

May you have merry in your Christmas

Peace in your hearts

Love in abundance 

and

May this season be filled with the things in your life that matter most

Moonlight in Bloggingham

 Winding through country roads on my way home from shopping, I turned the car around, found a safe place to howl at the moon and grabbed my camera. This is post-lunar eclipse as in last night, not the night of the eclipse.

 

I think he winked at me. Did you see it?

These are not photography perfect by any means (need a new camera and a photography class) but I'll share with you what I captured. After all, you might have seen it too...

Who needs the Internet when a glorious constellation holds us all together? 

*Photography credit Mimi Lenox*

Hark! It's Saint Projack of The Reindeer Pack!

Welcome to the Queen's Meme #65. Yes, you're in the right place. I just changed costumes for the week. It's Christmas. I'm allowed. And anyway, I had to send my Queen frock out to the cleaners for the New Year's Eve Party at Bloggingham. I'm going as Betty Boop (it's a Hallo-Christmas theme) and wanted to see if you approved of my red new dress. Yes? I've been practicing my Poo-Poo-Pi-Doo all week just for the occasion.

I wrote this meme on Mimi Writes in 2008. 

I thought a resurrection at Christmas would be a nice touch. Enjoy!There are only 5 days left 'til Christmas. I don't know about you but if I hear Brenda Lee sing "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" one more time on the drive into work, I'm going to go blostal (that's blog + postal for all you non -blog speakers.) So I thought I'd spice things up a bit and burst out of a stocking. So to speak. It's worked for Betty Boop all these years, why not me? She's a cross between my hero, Scarlett O'Hara (I met her once here and here) and yours truly but with less clothes on. At least in public. And besides, she really knows how to wear a pencil skirt.

A girl could learn a lot from Betty Boop.

The Mimi Boop Meme
Take it and tag it.
Tempting, eh..?

1. I am good when I am asleep. Otherwise, all bets are off. 
2. I am naughty when I am asleep. You should see my dreams!!! Then I awake and no one got arrested. It's a perfect plan.

3. The world would be a better place if people would Deck the Halls with lots of love instead of boughs of jolly holly. **ATTACK of the SENSES. BAH! The word "holly" is in that Brenda Lee song. Shudder**

4. Have you ever snuck (that is NOT a real word, Mimi) into the living room in the middle of the night, unwrapped your gifts and wrapped them back just to see what was under the Christmas tree for you? Come on.....you can tell me.
No. I like surprises. But my son used to do that all the time when he was little. He was the greatest unwrapper of all time. Never could get the bows back in the right place, so I knew. Of course, the look-of-no-surprise on Christmas morning gave him totally away.

Sidenote: I've always wanted to know what really goes on in the Gingerbread House after dark. I've never seen any cookies come out of that place. Have you?

5. Have you ever been stuck in a chimney?
I'm hoping Saturday night. I have plans with Santa....ahem.

6.  Who would you like to stuff in a stocking and why?
Metaphorically speaking, the little poo-poo-pi-doos running around in my mind all tied up in nice ribbons and bows for a rainy day exorcism.   I've stuck them all together like fly paper people and shoved 'em in a corner all year until now. They seem to be enjoying themselves in there, talking incessantly about nothing usually, as poop-doops do, if you will. Maybe it's time to stuff 'em for good. Let me get out of that stocking first and then I'll see what I can do about a proper ceremony with a priest.
 
7. Could you name the 12 Disciples Days of Christmas, the 3 Musketeers Wise Men and all of Santa's medications Reindeer if your life depended on it? OK wiseguy. Prove it.

A. Sure. Dopey. Sleepy. Santa. John. Mark. Luke. Mary. Joseph. Turtle. Dove. Ringo and Rudolph. 

B. The 3 wisemen:  My theory is that there was only ONE wiseman left by the time they reached the Baby Jesus.  (it's my Bible, let me make up this story, bear with me)  They argued the whole way about who was the wisest and had the best gift for the Christ Child, so two of them ran away with one of the hark angels (yes, I said HARK angel) **it's my Bible.....** 
 If they'd had any franken' sense they would have stopped at Walmart and bought a flashlight.
It was dark and the prettiest angel with the snarkiest hark was the one they left behind for the wisest man who finally made it to the manger just in time to see Baby Jesus smile.

C. Santa's "Reindeer": Projack (cousin of Kojak) Smasher (brother of Pumpkins) Flixon (the B movie mogul) OxyOxy Dude for those migraines caused by Rudolph's red flashing nose and Blogson (son of Blitzen)


8.  On the 13th Day of Christmas my true love gave to me a new Bible and an illustrated Strong's Concordance! **before I go to hell for blasphemy** (that's blog + asphemy for all you non-blog speakers. No. It is not a Biblical word.)

 9.  Imagine that Santa Claus really does exist for a moment. (I can say that this week. Baby Boy is not listening right now ) Anyway, if the Big Guy could grant you any wish, what would your most hedonistic and self-centered wish be? (You can say it. I won't tell. I'm Mimi Boop today.)
 
My most hedonistic wish would be to marry the wisest and most handsome man left on earth.
But since Hugh Jackman is married, I'll have to settle for Blogson the Reindeer.


10. When you make your list, do you check it twice and find out who's been naughty or nice or do you just get everybody a box of chocolate covered cherries and call it a day? 

Everybody is naughty some of the time, nobody is nice all of the time and somebody is everybody most of the time. That just about covers it.

If you're reading this meme, consider yourself tagged. That is my Christmas present to you!!  And don't try to hide from me. I see you.....

I'll see ya later. I'm busy trying to wiggle and stuff myself into a Christmas stocking without breaking a vital organ. So far one leg is in and all systems are go. This gig is perfect for me! I need only invade half of the stocking. Now if I could just figure out which half. And besides, I'm booped!

Signed,

Mimi Boop Pencil Skirt

Mistress of The Hark

Oh, The Weather Inside Is Frightful

But I'm "down with it"...as they say...the flu bug that is.
It is so much fun eating dry cereal and gingerly sipping cola. But the worst is over and I am currently looking for my snark and Christmas spark again. Where DID I put that?

We are joyfully and treacherously experiencing roadway ice nightmares with piles and piles of cars everywhere.
I'm warm and toasty inside (achoo!) and glad I'm not compelled in the least to venture out.
Usually, as is my custom, I would be outside reporting the snowstorm of the century for you - climbing trees and waiting it out. Here's a pic from last year's snow frolic.

But not today. I'll wait for the next one, thank you very much. It's supposed to roll in Saturday afternoon. I'll be there. Uh, here. And here. Yes...that's what I meant.

 I really shouldn't take medication and try to blog.

Monday Mimisms ~ Bohemian Books and Beds of Gypsies

One July mid-morning in the recent and sadly missed season I call My Beach Summer, I jumped out of the driver’s seat of my no-GPS-but-bound-for-hedonism car, looked down at myself and exclaimed, “I’m half-naked!”

This, after realizing that all I had on was a blue bathing suit and a pair of flip-flops. And I didn’t care. Where are your shorts?? did not even begin to describe the diatribe going on in my head from the mother-voice I hear periodically when faced with near auto collisions - you know the one - the always-wear-clean-underthings in case you’re in a car wreck warning. I ignored her question in the land of the sand and closed the door of the secret convoy vehicle with a giggle. Half-naked was no problem during the summer that was closely akin to the most freeing time in my life. Ever.

That morning, I’d flown out of the condo with nothing more on my brain than to find an ice cream cone. The first flashing soda shoppe sign I saw had my undivided attention.
They also had an unintended peek at my joyful splash into public life as an anonymous beach bum.
Who KNEW I had a bohemian streak?

I miss that streak.
So is it any wonder today that for most of this lazy cold Christmas-bound day, I spent - like a vagabond - in bed. With a delicious book. Under a coverlet. A collection of leftover party cheese, a few salty green olives smiling up at me from a plate by my side and crackers - oh, yes, crumbly crackers - in the gypsy boudoir with me. How much more hedonistic can one get in this lifetime?
And midday in a holy season. Tsk tsk.
Reading in the crumbs reminded me of gritty sand in the crevices of blue rayon on beaches.  And blankets of warm warm sunshine with ice cream for breakfast. Since my affliction with flip-flop scandal, I think it not strange at all.
How I adore words.
So I ate them. Salt and all.

I wonder....

If I start walking now, with these sea-tested legs of mine from the summer that was truly me, maybe I can make it back to the sand dunes before Santa slides down the chimney. And if my hair is pillow-tangled and my skin is back to pale, who cares?
I know it’s strange to be contemplating shorelines in the middle of winter - seagulls don’t fly with doves of peace, now do they? - but seriously, once you’ve dipped your big toe in waters of nothingness, it’s easy to let yourself go there again.

Even it is just in the pages of a book on a Sunday fraught with landmines of chores staring from the laundry pile.

It's 30 degrees out.

I'm going for ice cream.

I could be back by sunrise you know.

*photography credit Mimi Lenox*

Bloggingham is Blinking!

Wonderful party last night. Notice pooped Santa hat on chair.
I think Christmas is here. 
I shall report tomorrow. 
One of my trees. It's pink! (well....the ornaments...not the tree itself)

I Hereby Officially Announce The Start of Blissmas (That's Blog + Christmas for all you non-blog speakers)

So let it be written. So let it be done.

Blue Water Blues

Miscellaneous summer photos. I'm too tired to write tonight but don't you think these images just call for a story somewhere down the road? I'll ponder.....

HMMMMMM......

Oh, who am I kidding? Forget these pondering pics.

It's seventeen degrees tonight. I  just wanna go back to the ocean.

*photography Mimi Lenox*

I Believe In Elvis

Welcome to The Queen's Meme #63 

Let's talk Christmas. I'm in a naughty and nice mood.  Some are one-word answers, others need a little explanation. Feel free to elaborate when the blog spirit moves ya. And above all else...Have fun!

1. Amazon.com or the Mall

Neither. I hate the mall at Christmas. Too many people. I like to go to out-of-the-way small places.
2. Bows or ribbons - BOTH
3. Expensive or sale tags - Sale tags on expensive items
4. Long list or short - Short. Very short.
5. Wrapped packages or gift bags - Gift bags are soooo easy and prettier than packages but there's something special about watching a little kid open the box with wrapping paper and bows too.
6. Eggnog or vodka - NEITHER
7. Have you finished your shopping? - No. I'm a last minute shopper for sure. And I like it that way.
8. A Christmas Carol or The Bible Story - Jesus. Angels. Wisemen.
9. Are you Scrooge or Santa's Helper? Depends on the day
10. Did you ever catch Santa Claus in the act? of what??
11. Tell me about your Christmas tree...gotta pic? Yep.

12. Christmas carols or Rock Station - Please. I am begging you. If I hear Brenda Lee's "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" one more time, I'm going to scream.
13. Do you believe in Elves?  No. But I believe in Elvis.

14. I am looking for Santa. Describe him for me. 

He's imaginary and invisible. Magical. If I describe him it's bad luck and he'll disappear forever. Nada. I won't. Bad karma.

 15. Do you leave cookies out or bourbon? Do I leave cookies out WHERE? Mimi, you really need to be more specific. You can't even answer your own questions. 

16. White lights or multi-colored - White lights on most everything including the plants and any existing furniture that doesn't run screaming from me. 
But I do have a multi-colored little tiny tree in my kitchen. I've always had one in the corner. For years. And once you start a tradition, then everybody expects a multi-colored tree in the corner! 

17. Wreaths on the doors, windows, outside? 

Once upon a married life we had icicle lights all around the outside eaves and even on the dormers. My ex-husband and son would climb atop the roof and it took them all day. I loved it.  But since I can't convince Homer to do it for me this year, the lights will remain inside. 

18. Who are the 3 wisest wise men in your life?

Two of the wisest have passed on. I'd say Baby Boy ranks top at the moment.

19. Is Christmas religious or commercial for you? Spiritual


20. Ever kiss under the mistletoe? Yes
21. Stars or angels on top of the tree  - The angel we had for years caught her dress tail on fire. No more angel girl. Now I have a crystal star. 

22. Who deserves to get a lump of coal for Christmas and why? Where to begin....

23. Who is #7 in the 12 Days of Christmas song?

They were a'swimming

24. Snail mail cards or e-cards - I use Jacqui Lawson's awesome online card service. She has the most adorable e-cards. I also send real cards!

25. What do you want for Christmas?

Peace on Earth

And remember....Santa Claus (and Mimi) are watching you. Be good now!

Monday Mimisms ~ I Am Nothing If Not Prompt

For four days I've sweated getting a ticket because I let my driver's license expire. (Shhh...don't tell) Four days past my birthday and it would be my pencil skirt luck to be the one pulled over by the blue lights. So I fly across town in my QueenMobile. I arrive literally 2 minutes before closing time. Whew!  Waited in line. Sat in chair.  Politely raised my hand for assistance. Mr. Uniform handed me a renewal ticket. Studied road signs.

Fluffed my hair and contemplated red lip gloss for the picture. 

Then she told me I was an entire year early. 

I Slept With A Polar Bear

He was so cute atop the Christmas ball on the bed. He reminded me of the singing Bear A Tones. I asked him if he knew who they were and he said "Why, of course! They sing for peace with John Lennon on the internet."

Duh.

Everybody knows that.

But alas, our torrid chilly affair ended when I reminded him that we were polar opposites. MEN!

*hat tip* Jamie White @ Durward Discussion and her awesome BlogBlast For Peace post

I Will Get In The Christmas Spirit If It's The Last Thing I Do

 
*I confess to absconding with these green chairs last visit (sans the pillows).*

Here's the plan

Me

Bundled

Boots

Camera

Shopping

Favorite

antique

store
Saturday

Wallet

List

Mission

Christmas

I imagine I'll be pointing at things.

So unQueenly

But who could resist a shop with stars?