Positive Day In The Blogosphere

Today is Positive Day in the Blogosphere! It is the brainchild of that cute little Diva Daughter residing with all the other dust bunnies here on the fabulous blog known as Dust Bunny Hostage.


Jennifer (the mom) challenged her 12-year-old daughter to express her views by writing them down in a blog post (found here) not so long ago and one thing led to another and another and pretty soon Diva Daughter had herself a blogosphere launch called Positive Day.

Travis @ Trav's Thoughts designed the glass logo for her - isn't it great? - and Mom Jennifer has been her constant cheerleader. After all, Diva Daughter plans on becoming President of The United States in the year 2032. And with great ideas like this one brewing in that head of hers, she already has my vote.


My list is very simple. (and besides I had to de-pencil skirt it for a 12-year-old to read!)

All I need to stay positive is ....

Homer the Palace Dog

a few prissy things....

a walk through the woods

and blog friends that really rock

I can get through most days.

Thanks Diva Daughter and the lovely Jennifer for making me smile tonight.

Come on folks, join in.

It makes you feel better.

Because I Am Not Jewish

Travel back five years ago with me. Rick was tall and dark-haired, mischievous and fun. A bit full of himself. But I like confidence so that was intriguing. We met on a dating site.
Think Heavy Flirting 101. I was an internet dating infant. Newly divorced and not very experienced in the ways and wiles of some men.

When we finally stopped the ridiculous eternal emails and had a phone conversation, this is how it went. And what did I learn from this experience? That phone calls should come FIRST before you waste too much time exchanging polite nonsense and constantly worrying about spellcheck. Here's why:

Rick was 42. Never married. I politely asked why. He said he was picky.
We cut to the chase.
He was Jewish.
I am not.
He wanted to marry a nice Jewish girl.
I am not.
He wanted babies.
I did not.

"Then why are we having this phone call?" I asked.
You may be shocked to hear this but Mimi was a tad naive.

"I'm really attracted to you. Can't we just have an adult arrangement?"

You may be shocked to hear this but Mimi had never been asked that question before. I was immediately intrigued beyond belief. Not in the yes-I-want-to-do-this way but in the what-makes-this-guy-tick-for-future-reference kinda way. I was dipping my toes in the proverbial dating pool for the first time in a very long time. I needed to know what he had in mind. Exactly. Research you see.

After some explanation and laying out of the ground rules and such, I said, "Let me get this straight. You want to meet for weekends and overnight stays your place or mine when neither one of us has a "real" date for the evening while you search for a nice Jewish girl to marry and make babies with except you're not going to tell anyone you're dating that you have a friend with benefits on the side? Is this correct O Handsome One?"


After a long sigh of exasperation he said, "Yes. That is exactly what I mean. Surely you've heard of this before."

I am not a prude but Mimi does not roll that way.
Now it's been a long five years. And I've been through a few things since. Some good. Some bad. I have been asked this question a couple of times. I always find it interesting that the guy brings it up after you've been sufficiently romanced, wined and dined, usually on the third or fourth date while entangled in a passionate couch kiss. I say again, attraction or no attraction, it ain't happening.

Nevertheless, Rick was my virgin proposal and I was fascinated.
"But I don't understand. What if we get emotionally attached?" I asked.

"I could see myself falling for you," he said.

"So what if we did? What then?"

"We could. And that would be even better!" he said.

"For whom?"

Silence. Looonnng silence.

"We would have an u.n.d.e.r.s.t.a.n.d.i.n.g," he said. "You would know from the beginning that my ultimate goal would be to find a wife. A woman of my faith. A mother for my children. A Jewish wife. You're not Jewish!"

"Your faith is important to you, yes?"

"Very. My faith and my family. I'm very family-oriented. I come from a big close-knit family. Our faith is important."



"And this is morally ok with you?"

"You are making me nuts," he said matter-of-factly. Morals have nothing to do with it. It's an arrangement.....an adult arrangement."

But if it was an adult arrangement, why did it seem so childish to me?

"So let me get this straight. We are having sex. We are romancing. We are rendezvousing. We are having fun because we are adults. You are dating perfect young debutantes for Sunday brunch, sleeping with me on Saturday night, lying to potential Jewish wives and neither the twain shall meet?"

"Yes." (as in DUH MIMI I do not wish to say this again)

"I seee.......I don't know anything about Judaism but would it be OK with you if your bride-to-be and the mother of your children and grandchildren secretly engaged in an adult arrangement with someone else?
Hypothetically speaking, of course."

Ever heard a man cuss in Jewish? It ain't pretty.

I know you may find this hard to believe but I was totally spellbound with disgust and fascination at the same time. I trudge on.

"But what if...."

I could feel his big brown eyes rolling back in his head. ".....what if we get attached. Bam! One day we fall in love. All is right with the world. You want to get married. I want to get married. But lo and behold we cannot because I am not Jewish."

"You have to be Jewish."
Why?"
"Because I am Jewish."
"Uh huh."
"And I am looking for a Jewish wife."

"But your profile does not say you are Jewish neither does it say you want a concubine while you look for a Jewish wife. This is news to me!.....So tell me, which is correct?"

"I want children. I want a family. You are not Jewish!"

"Does that really matter??" said naive and foolish Mimi. "I know plenty of inter-faith couples. That's absurd!"

"But you don't want children!"
"Won't. Can't. Nope. Nada."
"So why are we having this conversation?" he asked in total flustration and disgust.


"Mimi? Why did you let me call you? (because duh you did not tell me you wanted a smutty mistress) It is apparent to me that you have no interest in meeting up with me," he said with some pompousness.
"And I thought we had fantastic chemistry."

Then Scarlett showed up. Damn her.

I batted my Southern eyelashes all the way to his lonely little condo and said,

" I am good enough to bed but not good enough to marry.

I'm just trying to figure out why.."

Long silence. Long loooonnnggg silence. Then he said one of the funniest things a man has ever said to me.

"You are hurting my brain," he said. "Goodnite!!"

Click.

You may be shocked to hear this but Scarlett burst into maniacal laughter. The nerve!! I never heard from him again and chalked it up to experience. Until....

Fast forward to this afternoon. Guess who?
An email. He has moved to my city. He is obviously still not married. I am obviously still not Jewish.

I wonder if he wants another brain injury. 

The Queen's Meme No. 3 ~ The Culinary Meme

Welcome back to the 3rd edition of The Queen's Meme. Each week the type of meme will change; sometimes silly, sometimes serious, but always fun! Enjoy your time in the castle.
And remember, don't end up in the dungeon.

The Cooking Meme (What Is The Meaning of Thyme and Other Deep Questions) Please join us.

Contrary to popular belief, the Queen has been known to accidentally cook something edible. Although I've given the gift of food poisoning to a boyfriend or two in the past, I actually made the food you see here. Don't ask me how 'cause I could never do it again. I made up the recipe and lived to tell it. Welcome to my Kitchen of Culinary Delights! Dinner is at eight.

1. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you'd like to do?

Only thyme will tell.

2. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown?

I sent mine to the laboratories of Schuster and Scheister for a thorough embryonic cell research analysis. The diagnosis was appalling! They told me that the first six in any dozen are usually crack babies - they, unfortunately, really crack. The others just go to Six-Step Programs
Who knew?!


3. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you?

You were sent by the PETA (People For Equal Treament of Margarine and Oleo Association) weren't you?




4. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters?


**Mimi girl, you really have an overactive imagination. Maybe you should take a pill for that.** Wait wait......My spoons are special. They met on a dating site. Are they little spoons or big spoons? Size matters in the spoon world. Is this a first date? Is the drawer open or closed? Has there been an exchange of phone numbers? Is alcohol involved?! I need more information if I'm going to counsel my virgin spoons on the fine art of mating. We don't just spoon with anyone here ya know.


5. You hear: "Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither." The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing.....but wait, the windows are open.
Why did you close them?

I didn't want the neighbors to see me stir the dumpling.
I'm gonna dump him tomorrow.



6. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? Show us your reckless and wild side in the kitchen. Don't have one? Here's a recipe I made just for you: You will need a spatula, a whisk, a gallon of Chardonnay, a banana and a rump roast. What is the name of your dish?



Her name was Rhonda Rump. She helped me with my recipe called The Queen's Royal Truffle. After gently seasoning the beef with a Chardonnay-dipped spatula and whisking the banana into a smashed frenzy of mush - I drank the rest of the wine and asked Rhonda if I could borrow her shoes. (If I drank it first I'd pass out and never get any cookin' done ya see)

Am I wearing a cute little chef's hat too?



7. After dinner, the dishes are so dirty that the dishwasher refuses to wash them. What did they say to get in hot water?
They cursed the Queen for writing this horrid meme.

8. Is your pot black?
My pots are black. My pans are white. We are an interracial kitchen.

9. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet?

What makes it so?

They're all pretty scandalous but I'm partial to the Virgin Olive Oil. Is that a spice?

I soak my hair in it once a month. Seriously. Want shiny hair? It's fabulous!

10. How much crock is really in your crock pot?

You can never have enough crock when writing a blog.

My crock over-floweth.

See what I mean?

Monday Mimisms ~ Some trophies fell on my head

I have been remiss acknowledging awards lately. I do appreciate each and every one of these and the friendships I've made here in the blogosphere. As I read through comments I am always struck by just how much we actually know about each other, how much we choose to reveal about ourselves also takes a measure of trust, and the encouragement given when one is in joy or pain is really an inspirational thing to watch. In most cases, we've never met the person on the other end of the blog we're visiting, but that doesn't stop folks from forming relationships and camaraderie. Strangers don't seem so strange anymore (well, some of you are pretty strange yeah I'm talking to you Thom...how's the food in the dungeon this week?) and we learn we have more in common than we thought we ever could.
So thanks to the following bloggers for honoring me with these awards. Some are new faces, some are familiar friends and visitors in the castle. If you are a reader or follower of this blog, I pass them on to YOU (yes I'm talking to YOU)

Have a wonderful week and thank you all very much! It truly means a lot.

From Mejis @ Did I Say That Outloud? (She's really fun. Have you read her?) for Mimi Writes and
From Lorielle @Hey Baby! What's Your Card?(Need a reading?) for Dating Profile Of The Day

I must now write 10 little known and honest facts about myself. I've been blogging three years. There is nothing left to tell. Unless.....

1. I have seen a ghost in Bloggingham's trees. Wanna see? Go here.
2. I like grilled onions on everything.
3. I like peanut butter and mustard sandwiches (sans the onions).
4. When I go to the doctor I always have a list of questions in my lap. It's very stressful....for the doctor.
5. I recently stepped on a bird. I had to throw away my shoes. Post forthcoming.
6. I sleep with a night-lite. (Read #1)
7. I have a classical music degree but rarely listen to classical music for enjoyment. I try to analyze it to death and it's no fun. College took the fun out of Beethoven.
8. I collect antique china.
9. I used to do some oil painting and watercolor. I don't have time now. I really should make time.
10. I believe with all my heart that the only good mouse is a dead mouse.

The "I'm A Fan" Award from Debbie at Through Thick 'n Thin in Cape Cod, Massachusetts who writes heartfelt posts that make me think. She is one of the best moms I know.

The Inspirational Blog Award from Dawn @ Twisted Sister who is not in the least bit twisted.

She lives on a rock in Newfoundland, Canada. She makes me laugh. She makes me cry. I'm such a fan of her eclectic writing and style. Dawn has some of the most outstanding photography in the blogosphere. Glaciers....shorelines....tunnels....hillsides....mountains.....family frolics....and all in her beautiful backyard. Do yourself a favor and check her out.

From the awesome Debbie at Through Thick 'n Thin and

From an attorney in the Philippines ~ PinkLady from Sheepish Thoughts for The Queen's Meme

Pink Lady is one of the most creative writers with memes combining funny answers and images that I've ever seen. Here's the proof.

From Bud @ WTIT Tape Radio Station

Need a laugh? Be warned: It's unique, irreverent, and funny. It also chronicles the life of a DJ over forty+ years of spinning labels in the real-world radio industry and recording "tape radio" with friends that go back to high school. Who ever heard of a tape radio station? I told you he was unique.

From Shannon's Moments of Introspection (Her recipes make me want to go off my diet. Her passion for promoting BlogBlast For Peace always makes me smile.)

and the ever witty Mejis who writes "Tales from the redneck hood and other shenanigans". It is a beautifully designed space and she believes in ghosts, snakes and boyfriends ~ from Mejis @ Did I Say That Outloud?

From Speedy Hollydale

Think chickens, suave, and silly with a capital S. But why is he called Speedy? Not sure. But there's a rumor going around that he has multiple personalities. I heard that from Doctor Shoal and Nurse Amanda HuganKiss. And last week? He baked a batch of chocolate oatmeal cookies to get out of the dungeon. Where does he find the time?

From Dawn at Twisted Sister in Newfoundland, Canada

who left a lovely gift of sisterhood and friendship for her female readers. I'd like to send it on to my female readers as well. They are beautiful!

Please forgive me if I left anyone out. I know I'm breaking some rules here but I just can't pick and choose because I always leave someone out I wanted to honor. So please, take them and enjoy the positive vibe. I would love to know ten more facts about all of you when you post the Honest Scrap Award.

See you tomorrow with The Queen's Meme.
Happy Monday!

I'm going to make a peanut butter and mustard sandwich now.

Sunday Stealing: Polka Dot Tops and PigTails

1. Who was your FIRST date?
His name was Steve. He was the preacher's son. You know what they say about preacher's kids...I'm here to tell ya it's true.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
No. He became an alcoholic. See what I mean?

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
Steve (you saw that coming, didn't ya?)

4. What was your FIRST job?
I was fifteen years old and the world's worst waitress in my grandmother's restaurant. I hated every minute of it and so did my customers. Well, the little blue uniform and my hair in pigtails was fun. **I scanned these grainy photos taken the summer of 1976 on a trip to the mountains of Tennessee. This one didn't come out very well but voila - the pigtails. I can't believe I just posted that on my blog off-the-shoulder tops were in if my mother knew I wore that I'd still be grounded** 5. What was your FIRST car?
It was red. Small. Cute. No air. And it matched my top.

6. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
New England

7. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
She moved away to Florida. We wrote real letters for years and years. Then we stopped. Life happens. But I do have some very cool shots of us in bikinis at the lake. Circa 1500 BC. They are in a vault somewhere in the dungeon where - trust me - they will remain.

8. Whose wedding did you attend the FIRST time?
My uncle's wedding in Maryland. Oddly, I remember people crying!

9. Tell us about your FIRST roommate.
Technically, my sister. She hated sharing a room with me. Most people do.


10. If you had one wish, what would it be (other than more wishes)?
That Steve remembers, occasionally, the freckle-faced girl who nearly fell off Blue Ridge.
11. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
How to keep a top the size of a cocktail napkin on your body in strong winds atop mountain. Tops.

12. Did you marry the FIRST person you were in love with?
No. I was too young to know what love was.

And besides, it was 1976. I was long on hair but short on brains.

13. What were the first lessons you ever took and why?
The top you save may be your own.

14. What is the first thing you do when you get home?
Take off ...things...and kick my shoes into the closet.

I'd better go to bed now. I'm bloggin' awful brave tonight.....

I'll probably be back in 20 minutes to remove the photos.

I think I might be sleep-blogging.

This is Pocahontas.
Signing off.

Saturday 9: Slow Dance In A Fast Car

1. What’s the furthest trip you’ve taken by automobile?

We were alone. In the car wash.

He said he wanted to smooch but I knew he had other desperately tawdry ideas.

Ergo, I went.

This is Mimi in an actual car wash. Exciting stuff today, huh?

2. What’s the worst pick up line you've ever received?

I can Drive Forward Slowly. Your car could use a wash.

Your suds or mine?

3. What’s the best pick up line you’ve gotten?
I'll wash your windshield if you'll wash mine. Gotta another quarter?

4. What was the last gift that you received?

A quarter.
It was so worth it.

5. What was the last gift that you gave someone?

We were alone. In the car wash....oh, I said that.

6. Tell us about the last time you cried.

A tender moment. Just after the second rinse.

If only I'd waxed.

7. Tell us about the last time you laughed uncontrollably.

I am laughing now.

8. Do you suffer road rage? What are your thoughts on it?
We were only in there three hours. There was no need for the horn-honking behind us. And besides, we broke no laws.

I only go 50 in the car wash but he was 30 so it all evens out. Doesn't it?

9. What’s one of your favorite movie song quotes?

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain.

I really should have left the windows up.

A little fog never hurt anyone.

Do You See What I See?

It was a beautifully clear night. I came home late after a coffee meeting stupid first date I got dressed up for nothing I'll post the funnies later sigh sat in the driveway and snapped pictures of the moon after dark. These are straight out of the camera - impressionistic and cool, eh?
THEN I snapped a few whimsicals in the rear view before I went in from this ridiculously boring evening. The date bombed but I got more than I bargained for with these pictures. I want to see if anyone else sees it before I tell you the rest of the story.
Do you see what I see in the picture below?

Update: Speedcat Hollydale thinks he has figured it out. Go here for his investigative report.

Speaking Truth To Power ~ Walter Cronkite

Before his astonishing on air critique and assessment of the Vietnam war in 1968, Walter Cronkite wrote in his reporter's notebook.. "Is it worth this many deaths? Is it worth this many deaths? Is it worth this many deaths?" over and over and over accompanied with source notes, meticulously analyzing the horrors of what he saw on the ground as a reporter in Vietnam, balancing his responsibility to just report the news with his own conscience, until he came to the conclusion that led him to offer his groundbreaking personal opinion from the news desk.

I admired him.

Walter Cronkite was a staple in our evening household. I've often said that nobody breathed during Carolina basketball games in my house. It was much the same with the evening news. You could not talk while daddy watched the news. The joke in our home was that because my dad shared the same first name as Walter Cronkite we would often say as kids, "Shhhh...be quiet! Daddy's on the news!" As my dad grew older he sported a grey moustache. He really does, to this day, resemble him quite a lot.

Whether you agreed with his controversial diversion from the news that night or not, I admired him for the courage to speak his mind. His voice, his calm, his composure.....will always be a part of the American journalism landscape. And I suspect, like the Walter who lived in my own house, a true hero to many.

Rest in peace.
You've lived an extraordinary life.


Images: Public domain

This Is Your Brain On Dwayne ~ An Actual Conversation

I've had it.
I can't open my email, my Facebook account, my Blogger dashboard or my snail mail without seeing these ads. They're everywhere! Can someone say disgusting? (I would post the actual ones here but then I wouldn't be able to look at my own blog) I'd rather watch erectile dysfunction love stories on TV than be inundated with bad hygiene every time I click my mouse. I'm so squeamish when it comes to close-ups of the human body that I don't even look at my own dental x-rays. I seriously don't.

While in the dreaded chair which is now once a month while I finish up a few dental details, my routine goes like this: Anxiety meds a half hour BEFORE (even for cleanings), my favorite CD turned up loud loud in the headphones to drown out whatever the heck they're doing, my eyes are closed before I even sit in the chair, and my foot heavy and often on the nitrous oxide pedal. It's a win-win. I have to pay extra for the nitrous because I so love it and my dentist has a reason to take drugs himself that day just to survive my visit for which he gets paid a lot of money to torture me. But I digress.

One day recently I was blogging with a bowl of pasta in my lap trying to eating lunch when I encounter THIS

opening my Yahoo email.

I blurred it so that I could look at my own blog.

No lunch for Mimi.
Time for action.
This is the actual conversation I had with Yahoo's live customer service rep.
I apologize, sir, for reprinting it here but you really need to understand that one day someone somewhere is gonna throw you off your little script.
Today you met your challenge.

Yahoo Help. Live Chat function. Customer Service. Blinking lights. "We have a live representative waiting to help you. State your concern."

Mimi Lenox: "ACCKKK! YUKKK! I have an issue with the teeth ads in my email. Can you make them go away? I want them to go away."

Chat Information: You are now chatting with Dwayne

Mimi Lenox: Hi Dwayne

Mimi Lenox: are you there?

Dwayne: Hi! Welcome to our Yahoo! Mail Live Chat service. I'm glad you've joined us.
Dwayne: Thank you for providing us the details of your issue.


Dwayne: As you've mentioned, you have an issue about "Teeth Ads?" is this correct?

Mimi Lenox: yes

Mimi Lenox: this is correcxt

Mimi Lenox: correct

Dwayne: I understand the importance of addressing your concern. Rest assured that I will do my best to help you with your issue.

Mimi Lenox: Seriously......everyday at the top of my mail page there is a series of DISGUSTING pictures of teeth that are just gross

**Silence**

Mimi Lenox: I'm being serious here

Mimi Lenox: I don't even want to open my mail

**Silence**

Mimi Lenox: I'm sure I"m not the only person who feels this way!

Mimi Lenox: I just want to get off the page as soon as possible - it's totally disgusting

Dwayne: I see what you mean, I am so sorry for the inconvenience this is causing you.

Dwayne: Yahoo! Mail provides its services and support to you free only because of the support of our advertisers. These are the ones that you see from the top and side of your Yahoo! Mail page.

Mimi Lenox: I know! But they are sickening to look at

Dwayne: Let us try changing your mail version to see if this ad will go away.


Mimi Lenox: Your customers are having to look at this mess every time they open the mail

Mimi Lenox: I don't like the new version

Mimi Lenox: i like the old format

Dwayne: I understand. We are just going to switch to the New mail version and switch right back to the Old Mail version. Sound good?

Mimi Lenox: as long as I get to keep the old version

Dwayne: Understood.

Mimi Lenox: thank you

Dwayne: Is your account open?

Mimi Lenox: yes

Dwayne: You are welcome.

Dwayne: Let us now switch back to the Old Mail Version.

Mimi Lenox: ok

Dwayne: At the upper right-hand corner click on Options then choose "Switch to Yahoo! Mail Classic."

Mimi Lenox: done
**waiting for the page to refresh and the horror to disappear** tapping foot**eyeing cold noodles**wondering if Dwayne is single**

Mimi Lenox: YUK!! they did not go away

Mimi Lenox: and I am eating lumcj

Mimi Lenox: lunch

Mimi Lenox: yuk

Mimi Lenox: yuk

Mimi Lenox: yuk

Dwayne: I am really sorry about that, Mimi.

Dwayne: Yahoo! Mail Plus account does not have advertisements displayed in the account. Let me provide you a link for more information about Yahoo! Mail Plus. Here it is.

Mimi Lenox: thank you

Mimi Lenox: so I have to pay for no yuk

Dwayne: You are most welcome.

Dwayne: That is really up to you that is only a suggestion. Just keep doing the troubleshooting steps I gave you. I hope that it will correct the issue that you are having.

Dwayne: Would there be anything else I can assist you with?

Mimi Lenox: I will keep switching and see if it helps. Otherwise, I'll just read my mail with one eye shut (just a little humor there) Thank you!

**noting that Dwayne has no sense of humor**

Dwayne: You are most welcome. Again, I apologize that you have to go through with it every time you read your messages.

Dwayne: Thank you for using Yahoo! Mail. If you have any other questions, please feel free to come back and chat with us at any time.

Dwayne: Thanks a lot for chatting. Have a great day!

Next time I'm calling Mr. Ed.