Friday, November 28, 2008

Today Is NOT My Birthday



But if it were....

I'd de-Queen myself for a day and just be a regular peasant. I have bruises on my behind from accidentally sitting on my crown. Delicately, of course. But ouch just the same.

I'd certainly NOT bake myself a cake.

I'd remain 39. It's the new 19 you know. Forty is the new 20. Fifty is the new 30. Which means I'm barely 30...sorta.....ahem......just in case you're NOT wondering. Yippee! What happened to pretend 19? It went by so fast.
But it's OK because I hear single is the new committed.
(I'm soooo committed. I'm not sure if that means I'm hip or insane)

Since going green is the new thing I'd go on a date with a "new thirty-nine" and see if the grass is greener.
I'm always on the cutting edge
(I crack myself up.)


I'd fire Homer and get a real dog.


I'd pretend that someone sent me flowers.

I'd stand in my modified pencil skirt......wind blowing....(which would seriously tickle my legs).....spout forth a sexy pout....give my best Marilyn impersonation and sing Happy Birthday to myself.

But since it's not my birthday I won't do any of those things. I'll just sit around and ponder the state of the world, twiddle my thumbs and look up naughty words in the dictionary. That is soooo unattractive. Perhaps a tattoo? That's a big NO. Maybe pretend to knit and sew black lingerie for "the new twenty-nine" on the off chance he drops by tonight (that's not too young, is it?), maybe smoke a cigar just for the blell of it just in case it might be could be probably is mmmmaybe it's my birthday.

I'll call my mother.
She should know.



personalized greetings





69 comments:

ciara said...

happy non-birthday to you...that video scared me a little lol :)

Akelamalu said...

You're fibbing aren't you? It is your birthday and you just want to play it down. No such luck!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MIMI
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

WAHAY!

ciara said...

p.s. mojo spilled the beans...i signed your bday shoutout over at his place :p~~

Ferd said...

In case it's not your birthday, I'm not wishing you a happy birthday.

I make up for my advanced age with immaturity. Your idea of making up for it with a "new 29" sounds good, too, though. At the very least it would be a good non-birthday present to yourself! : )

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Soooooooo... 60 is the new what?

I think that we should do all those things and celebrate every day as if it is our birthday!

Mojo said...

Well dear, since it's not your birthday you're probably not interested, but I left a little sump'n-sump'n for you around my castle. Err... studio. Err... place.

Babs (Beetle) said...

Humphry bimphry poo nyou
Humphry bimphry poo nyou
Humphry bimphry .... sorry I had a mouth full of cake ;O)

Queen-Size funny bone said...

wishing you lots of green grass...

Hahn at Home said...

I'm so glad it's not your birthday. But, if it were, I'd wish you a year full of good Internet dating profiles - you know unlike the ones - they say they are 5'11 and aren't really 5'8, say they are in the energy business when they are gas pump jockeys, spend all night dissin' the ex they aren't over, and say they are 44 but are 65. Like those.

Mimi Lenox said...

Ciara - The video scared me too. It's so me though. That is exactly how I would bake a cake.
If I could....

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - Me?? Fib? About something so important? It might be my birthday and it might not. But thank you. (smile)

Mimi Lenox said...

Ciara - I've noticed that he is big on birthdays on his blog and has a mind like a steel trap. If you ever discuss birthdays with him, trust me, he'll remember!

I saw it and it was very nice. I've been over to thank him. And thank YOU.

Mimi Lenox said...

Ferd - Although I suspect "the new 29" would be boring, it's a nice fantasy thought.

I make up for my advanced age with immaturity.... cracked me up.
I take comfort in the fact that you are, indeed, older than I am. There are a few people like that. Not many (the rest have died. Ha!) but some still around.

Seriously, thank you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Nick - Sixty is the new fifty. But you knew that. And I love your idea of celebrating every single day.

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - Note to self: NEVER tell a guy with a mind for detail like yours the day of your birth. Can't you see I'm trying to downplay this depressing occasion?

Sigh.

Seriously, thank you. I loved the cake on the globe and the candles. It made me smile.
It seems there are little birdies about everywhere today....

That was very sweet!

Mimi Lenox said...

Queen - LOL. Me too....

Mimi Lenox said...

Lori - It has to be a better year. I've met all those guys you just mentioned (I'm serious and you know it). Queen has had a few epiphanies about men and dating of late. Did I mention to you that I'm done? Oh. I did.

I will take your wish to heart and hope it comes true.
Thank you for the non-birthday wish.
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Mimi Lenox said...

Babs - I'm glad sooomebody liked my cake! The singing was lovely. Thank you.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Happy non-birthday. Poor Homer looks like his time is up.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Happy birthday, Hon. I'd sing, but you know how ugly that would be...

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-luc - I'm so glad you agree that it is not my birthday. I should have made a decree or something! This was toooo easy.

But Homer is not happy....Nope.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - I saw the lovely shout out on your blog and I so appreciate it. I was hoping that someone would get me the other half of my face for my birthday (very funny post).

Your singing isn't that bad....Thanks, Sweetie.

Shannon H. said...

HAPPY (not your) BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY (not your) BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY (not your) BIRTHDAY DEAR MIMI!
HAPPY (not your) BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

hehe!!! I hope you have a great day my Queen.

Shannon H. said...

PS: Don't fire Homer...he is easy to take care of.

Tammy said...

Happy Not Your Birthday! ;o)

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

If Bud is wishing you a happy birthday, then it's your birthday. Just saying. So...

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Dear Mimi,
Happy Birthday to you.

Have a terrific day my friend. Big hug and lotsa lovies. :)

Mimi Lenox said...

Shannon - Thank you, my friend.

Mimi Lenox said...

P.S. Shannon - Homer is getting on my nerves. I need to dog lessons or something. He actually likes my cooking. Have you ever heard of such?

Mimi Lenox said...

Tammy - You got it right. It is NOT my birthday.

Mimi Lenox said...

Sandee - He totally outed me, didn't he?

Thank you. Hugs to you as well.

Summer said...

Happy Not Your Birthday. I won't sing Happy Birthday since it's not your birthday. Instead it reminded me of this.

A very merry unbirthday
To me
To who?
To me
Oh, you

A very merry unbirthday
To you
Who, me?
To you
Oh, me

Let's all congrulate us with another cup of tea
A very merry unbirthday to you

Now statistics prove
Prove that you've one birthday
Imagine just one birthday every year
Ah, but there are 364 unbirthdays
Precisely why we're gathered here to cheer

A very merry unbirthday
To me?
To you
A very merry unbirthday
For me?
For you
Now blow the candle out, my dear
And make your wish come true

A very merry unbirthday to you

kenju said...

I came to wish you a happy birthday, thinking I had it on good authority that it was, but since you say it isn't, I won't. LOL

tarheelrambler said...

Since it's not your birthday, Your Highness, you don't get the benefits of that extra year of growth. You won't benefit from the wisdom gained in another year of growth. You won't enjoy the new friendships that come with another year of age. You won't get to bask in the adoration of your loyal subjects. It will just be another mundane day.

Please be sure to let us know when it is your birthday so the Royal Proclamation can be read, the banquet hall prepared, the Royal Tribute delivered and the Madrigal Singers called forth. After all, the Queen's Birthday is a Royal Holiday!!

crazy working mom said...

Well, happy non-birthday to you. Too bad it's NOT your birthday 'cause my Shelby is celebrating her 6th today. She's having a skate party later on if you wanna buzz over. I'm sure we could find a red carpet somewhere to roll out for you, dear queen! :)

Lucy said...

i know it's not you birthday, but your post gave me so many smiles I will sing to you Anyways!!
happy b.d. to u
happy b.d to U
happy Birthday sweet funny Mi MI
happy Bithday Toooooo YOuuuuuuu
xoxo
( so happy to learn I am going to only be 30 next year!!woo hooo!!)

RennyBA said...

.... and IF this was your BD, I would send greetings and tons of hugs - all the way from Norway :-)

Mimi Lenox said...

Summer - That was seriously awesome. Thank you!

Mimi Lenox said...

Kenju - I get it..I think. So I'll not thank you? lol

Mimi Lenox said...

Lee - Oh dear. A Royal Holiday. What I've been missing all these years....(smile)

Mimi Lenox said...

Crushed - Bask in your newfound teenagedom.....Go on with your English self.

Mimi Lenox said...

Tish - Happy birthday to your Shelby. I will visit her. But I can't skate..

Mimi Lenox said...

Lucy - Imagination is a wonderful thing. Enjoy your thirty feeling...

Mimi Lenox said...

Renny - Hugs received. Reciprocal hugs sent back to Norway....Thank you.

Sanni said...

HERZLICHEN GLUECKWUNSCH ZUM GEBURTSTAG!!!

Don't worry, nobody else will realize I wished you a very happy birthday - it's German. You know. I know. Enough said. *grin*

Big ((((HUGS)))) and a royal *kiss*

Jodi said...

Happy (non) Birthday to you Mimi!! May your birthday be blessed!!!

What a nice surprise it is from Bud to get you the other half of your face...very thoughtful that Bud is ;)

Have a beautiful day!

Mimi Lenox said...

Sanni - I do know. You are precious. Thank you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Jodi - He is thoughtful that way. lol
And thank you very much!

Julie said...

I don't think the queen lies very convincingly! Biggie birthday hugs my friend!

Vodka Mom said...

okay. it's official. I love you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Julie - I tried...

Mimi Lenox said...

VM - You crack me up. How's school going? Did you enjoy Thanksgiving break?

Dawn said...

I just stopped by to say hello and now I'm glad I did...
HAPPY UN BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Sorry I didn't have a cake :(
{{{HUGS}}}

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn! - Sooooo glad to see you here. Thank you very much for the un-birthday wishes. I'm still trying to find earrings to match the other side of my face (you-know-how bought the other half)...it's been naked so long! Oh the pressure.

Deana said...

Do we say "Don't have a Happy Birthday" or "Happy NOT Birthday." 40 is great. Jennifer Aniston looks super hot and turns it next month. I didn't notice the difference until this 42 1/2 thing hit. Now I am thinking..no more sugar and super surgery is needed!

Mimi Lenox said...

Deana - You can say anything you wish, my friend. And I've seen your picture. No surgery is needed. Bah! You're right about Aniston. She looks much better now than she did 20 years ago.

And that's our goal....said the Pencil Skirt

Lizza said...

I have the perfect un-birthday card for you, Mims.

Time does go by so fast. But it sure doesn't affect how sweet and gorgeous you are.

Starrlight said...

39 is the new Black ;)
Happy Black Day!

Mimi Lenox said...

Lizza - You are a sweetie pie, my friend. I loved the card and put it in today's post.

Mimi Lenox said...

Starr - I'll take it.

Patti said...

Phew! Wow, you surely got a lot of birthday wishes, Queen Mimi. And deservedly so.

I'm here running a day late. Nothing new. I can't keep up!
But despite being a bit belated, my wish is sincere.

Hope you had a very Happy Birthday!

jennifer said...

Happy late NON Birthday. Love the thought process behind the "new 19". Very funny!

And all I see is a royally glamorous Lady and certainly not a woman of very many ACTUAL birthdays!

bundleocontradictions said...

Your Highness, I hope you had a fantastic regular peasant day. When I was younger (around 23), I swore I wouldn't make a big deal about aging. Hm. Now I'm...25...with hormonal imbalances that make themselves known as acne & silver hairs. It all came too early. You're a beautiful 30...ish. ;)

Linda said...

Oh dear, I am extremely late in coming over here to wish you a happy non-birthday and now it really isn't your birthday so I guess that's one of the good things about not being able to do any sort of blog-reading or commenting because by the time I can, whatever it was that wasn't happening but was really happening is no longer happening anymore.

Does that make any sense? No? Good!

Hope you had a lovely non-birthday and that someone sent you some flowers!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Dearest Princess Patti - I thank you and appreciate the well wishes! How was your Thanksgiving?

Mimi Lenox said...

Jennifer - Awww...I so needed to hear that. Thank you dear.

Mimi Lenox said...

Autumn - Nothing like girlfriends to help me feel better about the "age" thing. I appreciate that. You are awesome. Did I mention that?

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - Thank you so very much. I hope you are getting some rest now.

Travis said...

Well, whether it was or wasn't your birthday, it should have been.

Or not.

Dang...now I'm confused.

Mimi Lenox said...

Trav - If you're confused you came to the right place..

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