Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Boolicious Edition

I hate Halloween. In fact, I'm a Halloween scrooge. I know that's unAmerican. I just don't enjoy the holiday. I don't dress up. I don't go out.

I don't answer the door.

The last time I participated in the sport I was really scared. Ding Dong! I cheerfully go to the front door dressed in my pencil skirt and a bowl of candy. Well.....you know what I mean. Prepared to look down at a cute little pumpkin face, I found myself staring at a 6 feet tall "child" dressed as The Grim Reaper.

I may be a tad ditzy at times - most people who know me well would testify to that in court - but this time, the caramel apple did not fall far from the tree. I looked up at this obviously grown person and said,

"I don't believe you should be trick or treating. How old are you? Thirty-five??!"
Ten Reasons Not To Answer The Door On Halloween
1. It might be
one of the bachelors on my Dating Site.

2. It might be the taxman.

3. You ate all the candy corn for dinner.

4. You could get scared.

5. It's difficult to disguise the screams heard from the dungeon.

6. Karma. One year for Halloween my mother dressed me as a paperbag.

7. You won't have to explain to everyone why "Dona nobis pacem" is carved into the pumpkin on your porch.

8. Nobody wants a meme in their goody bag.

9. At least five people usually drown in the moat before they get to the door.

That's so messy.

10. The skeletons in the closet are starting to talk.

Here. Don't go away hungry. Have a carrot stick!

Reason 11.... Sigh.



Tammy said...

I love number 8!!!!

craig andrew said...

You actually eat candy corn? I thought that stuff was just for looks,... you know, like plastic fruit. C;)

FoxxFyrre said...

A moat, a dungeon, a castle, a skeleton, are you sure somewhere deep down there's not a Halloween'er just waiting to bust out?

I think you could just brew up a tasty Hallow-meme for us tricksters.

I've always loved Halloween, not so much as a child, but as an adult designing nightclub bashes, dressing up the clubs, and judging costumes of all the party-goers has always been so much fun for me. Well, except for the year I did the Bar Witch Project--that one turned out even a little spooky for me.

Bond said...

i lurves halloween....


and I was only 32 when i came to your door that halloween...


Akelamalu said...

Loved #8 LOL

Sanni said...

*leaving some treats in front of Queen Mimi´s door*

I´ll take a MEME and you´ll have a look at this one, okay?

Happy Halloween =)

katherine. said...

oh c'mon....open the door...puleeeezzz

Travis said...

We didn't have a single trick or treater tonight. Maybe I should have turned on the porch light and decorated.


I'm not really a Halloween scrooge. But the constant ringing and knocking on the door bothers Mr Tucker. So I don't advertise for kids to come to the door anymore.

Amy said...

I love 3 and 9 -- very funny!!!

Mauigirl said...

Our totally friendly pit bull terrier, Diva, dressed up for the occasion with a special purple frou-frou fluffy collar with black cats and bats sticking out of it. When she runs to the door barking (her way of saying "Come in! Pat me!") she scares the heck out of the little kids! The problem is her teeth show when she barks and she looks scary.

Last night a bunch of them all screeched and ran like crazy when they saw and heard her at the storm door, dropping candy all around them. I had to go out and entice them back with my bowl of candy.

Patti said...

All Hail Halloween Hater, Mimi Queen of Memes
sorry to hear you don't like the holiday ~ although you have no problem with dungeons and moats and skeletons. Complex, you are

Mimi Lenox said...

Tammy - Memes can be very scary indeed.

Craig - Of course I eat candy corn. Don't you? It's great with a Cobb salad and a nice steak.

Frank - The Bar Witch Project? Never mind. I don't want to know.

Bond - I knew that was you. You offered me lasagna.

Akelamalu - Thank you! I love memes.

Sanni - I found the treat and they were indeed yummy. They were the subject of my next post. Did you see?

Katherine - I'm really not answering the door because my hair is in curlers. It's not pretty.

Travis - Yes....no lights and no decorations tends to send the Scrooge signal. But at least Mr. Tucker was happy.

Amy - Thank you. I'm still dealing with the drownings today. Identifying people and all. Sigh.
Living in a castle has its pressures.

MauiGirl - A pit bull terrier with frou frou? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?? Very funny picture you painted there!

Patti - Complicated. Guilty as charged.

Anndi said...

Travis does that just so he doesn't have to share some cake...

I have an excuse... I'm out trick-or-treating with The Chicklet...

plus, ummm.. the dogs ate all the Tootsie Rolls...

What does candy corn come out looking like? Is it like real corn? Can your digestive tract pierce through the hard exterior?

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