American Idol: A Pickle By Any Other Name

Welcome to the first that hopefully is only one of several editions of our new series: The Bud and Mimi Review: American Idol. This is our first joint edition.  Words cannot totally express our excitement, we are forced to begin this venture, nonetheless. We came, we saw, we spoke.

Mimi: Bud! Remind me again......Why are we here?
Bud: Because you are the most beautiful and intelligent woman I've met in 20 years?
(He always says the cutest things) Mimi: No, Bud. I mean about the show.

Bud: The show was neither beautiful nor intelligent. In fact I'd rather watch UCONN lose than watch this show.
Mims: But UCONN's your favorite team!
Bud: Yeah. My dad was captain once upon a time. I still prefer to watch them lose over watching tonight's Idol.
Mims: How would you describe the first round of auditions?
Bud: Painfully. I was had.
Mimi: How so?
Bud: This was so bad we are going to need a filler for this post. Do you think we should just print the words to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow?"
Mimi: Could help?
Bud: On it.

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high

There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue

And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Where troubles melt like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly

Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh why can't I

If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,

why, oh why can't I ?

Mimi: What was the most irritating moment?

Bud: The guy who tried to do Michael Jackson while channeling Marilyn Monroe. The only person who showed the slightest bit of talent was Katherine McPhee's sound--alike. I could see her in the top twelve.

Mimi: Well she was better than the girl who looked like the the Lion King. How about the country singer? She had very perky pipes.

Bud: She reminded me of Kelly Pickle.

Mimi: That's Pickler, Bud.....with an r. You mean the Calamari girl?

Bud: This girl could eat an octopus and it wouldn't make her a better singer. Who was your favorite tonight, Mims?
Mimi: My favorite was the ee-Italian singer.

Bud: I know little about opera but I do know something about staying in tune.

Mimi: When I said I liked ee-talian it had nothing to do with his singing.

Bud: Well, you know.....I liked that European woman who looked like Charo a little better than I admitted.
Mimi: No, Bud. She was from Colombia (men!) Wrong accent. And anyway, she sang 3 notes from 3 different continents are the same time....Well, she did juggle well but what's that have to do with her singing?

Bud: About as much as the Italian guy's success had to do with his singing.
Mimi: I like him because he sang my favorite song!

Bud: What's that, Mims?
Mimi: "When You Say You Lub Me." Don't you know anything about music?

Bud: I wonder if she eats calamari.....
Mimi: Snap out of it. Any predictions?

Bud: The only reason they're still calling this American Idol is because the title LOST is taken. I feel so manipulated. I feel so cheap. I feel so used.

Mimi: I know what you mean. This show is beginning to worry me. I'm so depressed. First, an old cowboy with an oversized hat murdered the Folsom Prison Blues and then we had the pleasure of watching Jessica have a nervous breakdown in the first fifteen minutes. Could it get any worse?

Bud: Yeah. We could be doing Pay-Per-Post.

That, our friends, is the final say on tonight's American Idol. We are glad that we have a week to recover. Those of strong will and little taste please join us again next week for "The Bud and Mimi Review: American Idol".

Same time. Maybe. Different blogs.