Thursday, January 18, 2007

I've Got the to speak

And I've got it bad.
I went to the doctor. He said there is no cure. I said "Doc, I am speaking in questions."
Doc: How absurd. Never heard of such a thing. What are your symptoms?
"Would you like to tell me 9 weird things about yourself first?" I asked. "See??!"

(It's uncontrollable.)

I tried to tell him that once upon a time a guy from England named
Yaxlich who wears his underpants on his blog crowned me Mimi Queen of Memes cause I'd become addicted to memes and all my friends were doing it and I just didn't see how I could stop running around with this mean crowd and I'd tried to attend Blogaholics but with my royal duties elsewhere never found the time and now I'm in charge of this carnival because the bestest blog asked me to do so and I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of memes which only exacerbates this terrible itching from my annoying crown and I can't even go to the grocery store without somebody asking for a blessing or a pardon or a beheading or an autograph and I don't know what I'm going to do with all these people coming to the castle on Monday to show me their memes.

I took a breath.
He took a Valium.

"Why did you just say that all in one breath without stopping, Miss Lenox?"

"Because every time I take a breath and begin a new sentence it ends in a question mark, don't ya see? Can you understand that people are really getting tired of that?"

"You say you live in a castle?"

"Isn't that what I said?"

"Miss Lenox, why don't take another deep breath and tell me about and your carnival friends."

Queen is losing her patience.

"Well.......actually I feel grateful that I live in such a nice castle,
Frank lives in a cave you know and then there's my boyfriend Bud who lives in a tape radio station and then of course there's Empress Bee of the High Sea Epiphany lives alone well not really but that's what it says on her blog door and SGT will probably bring pictures of desert snow from Afghanistan to the party because Annelisa is bald and lives in the clouds while my friend Starr poses as a beautiful fairy that's sort of like a ladybug-in-waiting in case you're wondering Wendz is bringing baguettes from the south of France Bond sleeps on a very long couch waiting for Sanni's German lattes Turnbaby handles my legal affairs Lizza just lost half her face again Maryam recently fell in love with a magazine while GEM speaks French in Pennsylvania and then there's the stress of trying to erase the apparent hair on my arms that appeared on my official Queen photograph like some sort of royal affliction while manipulating the density of my royal blog so I'm about to lose my mind if I don't get some relief so or someone is going to lose their head and oh I almost forgot about Prometheus.
"What's wrong with him?"
"He only has one finger, is there a cure for that,doctor?"

"I'll be right back Miss Lenox with some medication."

"For Prometheus' fingers?"

"No, for your hair affliction."

"How did you know I'm conflicted about my hair. Do you read my blog?"

He curtsied and left.

"Doctor," I heard the nurse asked, "She's awful fussy. What's wrong with her?"

Must be another one of those American Idol contestants.
She thinks she's a Queen.


Bond said...

bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha great stuff Mimi....

Annelisa said...

You crazy Meme-Queen!! (By the way, you missed one... I put your name down, but you seemed to be busy at the time... ooo, I don't know, travelling from here to there, I think...

Anyway, when you've finished your carnival, you might scratch that itch...10 things that Define you :-)

SGT DUB said...

Why is it that when you write a long sentence as speaking in one breath, I seem to try and read it in one breath? Oh no, was that a quesiton? Yikes, did I do it again? Agh! Did I catch it? I need my snow pictures now! Great post.

Mimi Lenox said...

Thanks, Bond. It will be a busy carnival.

Mimi Lenox said...

Annelisa....what intriguing thing have you done now? I can't wait to read, my friend.

Mimi Lenox said...

SGT - I think you've caught meme-itis. Oh no.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

mimi the mystery is solved!! somehow i logged into ie7 instead of foxfire and never noticed. i just thought the whold world had slowed down and gotten sort of, well, constipated or something. anyway when i switched back, BAM! i can use your links and comment again!!! so there you go, now we know.

now i know you are busy hosting this queenly carnival and all, but are you going to be serving refreshments?? or have a pinata?

smiles, bee

Prometheus said...

Salutations, Queen Mims. Them docs ain't capable of helping us. They view us with suspicion. Long have we suffered. But no more. It is time to reveal ourselves to the Jedi, my liege. Unleash your weapon. We are taking over the world. Their arsenal (or even Chelsea) is nothing compared to our Weapons of Mass Interrogation.

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