Monday, February 3, 2014

Monday Mimisms ~ My Apologies To The Denver Broncos

I'll admit. I do not have a favorite team. I did not plan to watch Superbowl 2014 at all. I wanted to listen to the incredible lyric soprano, Renee Fleming, sing the Star-Spangled Banner and go shopping as soon as she broke through the stratosphere with the last note ringing through the clouds like I knew she would. On that count, I was not disappointed. Somehow the shopping was derailed and I decided to focus on the game instead - trying one more time to understand the game of football. I think I finally get it.

Things I Learned About Football (and me) During  Super Bowl 2014

 1. I can choose my favorite team based solely on how they run (or gallop) onto the field. 
A horse rides out and I'm all in.
Broncos! All the way!

2. When Joe Namath - who was also wearing an animal totem -  was introduced to throw the coin toss (THROW a toss?) it hit me how really old errr vintage uhhhh historically preserved I really am. I remember him playing in the Super Bowl.  Now there's a football player. And he's cute. 

What is a first down?


3. Renee Fleming. 
Opera rules.
Enough said.
4. I loved the reading of The Constitution. Do you think we could do that at every football game? 

5. I finally understand the rules of this game. Unequivocally.  Pay attention.
Men (and apparently some animal totems) chase an odd-shaped brown object known as a football, presumably for kicking purposes. But there is very little kicking. Said men are only interested in knocking the custard out of each other to get their hands on the silly brown ball, which obviouslllllyyyy does not fit any of their hands. It flies all over the place! So they spend their time throwing their entire bodies down on top of it like the secret service protecting the POTUS. Then they curl themselves into a fetal position while all manner of hell breaks loose on top of them while everybody including mascots and striped uniform men pummel them to pieces scratching for the brown ball which somehow remains inflated.
I can't believe anybody on top of that ball makes it out of there alive.

6. I am superstitious. This game was full of scary things. I believe in peace doves being released into the world. I believe in wise owls and bluejays of happiness. Animal totems should be positive and friendly. But when I saw a ornery live seahawk sitting on someone's head on the field, I ran out of the room screaming! Just another reason for me to root for the Doomed From Denver. So I did.  It was a bad omen! Hawk! Balk! Balk! (apparently, not for the Seattle Seahawks...)

7.  What is a first down? After all this time, I still do not know. 

But I do believe in curses. I offer my sincere apologies to the Denver Broncos. I wasn't even going to watch the game (because I honestly don't watch football) until I noticed a horse galloping onto the field. That's the moment I decided to cheer for you. And look what happened! I must have jinxed you. Please consider this an official apology note from me to you.
 You should know it wasn't your fault. 

Signed Sincerely,
Mimi Lenox, Queen of Bloggingham

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Red Shoes said...

I really do love your take on Life and Football, dear...


speedyrabbit said...

oh well there is always next year for the super bowl, xx Rachel

bazza said...

American football (and Rugby Football for that matter) is a game played by men with odd-shaped balls.
That's all I know!
CLICK HERE for Bazza’s Blog ‘To Discover Ice’

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