Breaking News! See No Caucus. Hear No Caucus

Being the pencil reporter I am with your best interests always near and dear to my skirt, my plan was to live blog the 2012 Iowa Caucus tonight. Here's a screenshot from ABC News of Herman Cain preparing to speak. Wait. Is this the right affair?

But I am nothing if not tenacious, stubborn, and dedicated. I sharpened my pencil and everything. Stopped at the grocery store for red, blue, and neutral snacks, (I want to be fair) decided to mousse my hair with poofy stuff to further enhance brain cells during this mental event, got in my blammies (that's blog + jammies for all you non-blog speakers), turned on both TVs in the house and waited for news from the great state of Illusions...I mean Iowa. Yep. we're in the right place.

**wait maybe this is it!* Two gunman are running through a fake TV forest with semi-automatic weapons and Mark Harmon (my hero because he still has a pretty face) is facing off with the little punk. Please. Mark. Watch the face. 
This IS riveting. **where is CBS?? They promised!**

Scott Pelley announced whilst I was still in the moussing stage that he would report "updates" throughout the evening. I am not amused. I don't want his updates. I want MY updates. In order for that to happen, I would have to actually watch it. But...but...where IS it?

I tried to find my Trailmixer buddy Craig Crawford on CNN tonight with no luck. He's always good for evaluating this mess these things.  He should know. Where is he hiding?!

Eureka! Facebook! They should know the answer. Where IS that live feed?

 Soon enough, my trusty readers tried to help.

This was not helpful.

Funny. But not helpful. 

But really. Who else would have given you the important stuff  like Michelle's wardrobe choice right down to her patriotic pumps? Me. That's who. And who is gonna psychoanalyze Republicans with the Freudian flair that I have? No one. That's who.  Based on the Snowstorm of the Century reporting I did last year, there's no fairer reporter than I.  And WHO, pray tell, will be able to spot liars and posers any better than Yours Truly? No one. That's who.

So far this is what I've seen.

 Riveting, no?

 Did they say anything else?

 

#blog4peace #blogblast4peace