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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Ill-gotten Diapers

Welcome to The Queen's Meme
7 Royal Questions on Tuesday

This week we are going on a very short trip inside a very small space. In fact, we are going to make several stops along the way. Ding! Step inside the elevator. You will visit seven floors. Be prepared to face the question and/or situation when the door opens on...
The Elevator Meme
Going UP! 
Oh, one more thing. You must answer the questions in the order given.  The reason will become clear on the last question.
Psst! I hope none of you are claustrophobic.

1st Floor:  When the door opens you are faced with a crowd of people staring at you wiggling and jiggling around trying to make room for you to fit inside with them. But you must have the elevator all to yourself to finish this meme (by order of The Queen!)
Make up a story that will make them all leave.

 I simply tell them that the first person who makes it to the elevator down the hall wins a million dollars.

2nd. Floor:  Now that you are alone and laughing at your lying wicked ways, choose your elevator ambiance and music. What does your Party Elevator look like?

My elevator is plastered with money money money. I had already been to the million dollar giveaway and taken all the loot. Since I sent them on a wild goose chance I am drinking Grey Goose vodka and singing Ding Dong The Wicked Witch Is Rich.

3rd Floor:  You decide to push the CLOSE button repeatedly because you want more time inside to yourself and's fun (!) and you're in charge of your Elevator Universe.  Finally, you realize you must open the door.   You are faced with a pregnant woman about to give birth and a very angry man pushing her wheelchair.  Do you let them on or do you shut the door and leave them stranded once again?

I give the pregnant woman the liquor and shut the door on the man. The last thing we need in that elevator with us is an angry man while we're birthin' babies.

4th Floor: An obviously wealthy woman shares your space to the next floor. She is rude, condescending and reeks of expensive perfume. Her over-sized wide brimmed hat keeps smacking you in the face. As she steps out, a $100 bill accidentally falls from her purse. Do you keep it or do you return it? 

I keep it. We need diapers for the baby.

5th Floor:  Ding! Oh joy! In steps the last person who broke your heart or someone you seriously dislike. The elevator gets stuck for 30 minutes. It is going to be a very long ride. What do you say or do?

Have you ever been stuck in an elevator with a crying newborn? What was I thinking? I am in serious dislike of the baby.  I'm sorry....but I had to dump them in the maternity unit and say adios.

6th Floor:  No one gets on the elevator. You are alone again.  You decide to make a prank phone call to one person. Why not? No one can see or hear you. Who do you call and what do you say?
I tell him I won the lottery and bought a new dog. 

7th Floor: Just before you arrive on the 7th floor you notice that there is a hidden camera on the elevator that has been videotaping your every word and deed since the 1st floor lie began. The door opens and there stands a police officer. Which one of the people in the previous questions do you stop and pick up on your way back down who would vouch for your good character? (You may not go back and change your answers to any of the questions. Whatever you did, you're stuck. So to speak.)

Even the baby is wearing ill-gotten diapers. I'm sunk. I'd better call Homer and apologize before he testifies against me too.  At least I'll have my trusty hound dog to take care of Bloggingham while I'm in jail.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well if the Wicked Witch Is Rich.... send me some money!

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