Friday, April 15, 2011

Mimi In A Minute #28 ~ Snooki Birthers and other Mysteries

These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep. 
Do you mind?
I have a few things to say. This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.

To Elizabeth Taylor: I forgot to say goodbye. You fascinated me my whole life. You were all girl. All the time. Thank you for your glamorous and giving ways.

Cocaine at NASA Space Center: That's not the kind of high we want.

who the hell is Snooki?

Polygamists Unite! Research reports: In five years it will take 3.5 people to actually support one household. Don't they have that backwards? It already takes 5 people to support 3.5 people. Think about it...

To all the Birthers out there:
I want to see the Ten Commandments written on the original stone tablets too. In triplicate signed by God.
Fat chance on both counts.

Dear FAA: I like to take naps. I hear you have some openings.

To any Birthers still out there:
  Do you think that is Snooki's real name on her birth certificate?
Have you checked?

Did you know there's a phone app that captures pictures that OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU are snapping at the same time?  We need to stop taking our phones into public restrooms.

   To the gas price gougers: $5.00 a gallon in California? Pretty soon I won't be able to afford to drive to work. But if I stay home maybe I can afford to support half  myself.


Kate's weight: It is our business WHY?

Last call for any and all Birthers left out there. I need your help:
Who the hell is Snooki?!!

and last but not least
If Donald Trump had Sarah Palin's hair, I would vote for him. That is my deep political opinion on the matter.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.


The Gal Herself said...

I can see you and La Liz hanging out in Bloggingham Castle.

My own note to Birthers: Even Michelle Bachman and Pat Buchanan think "the Birther issue" has been settled. When those two sound mainstream in comparison, y'all have wandered too far off the reservation.

The Absence of Alternatives said...

I love how you wrote so many letters to the birthers. They must not be getting many of those since I wonder how many of them can actually read...

p.s. If Obama's mother is a U.S. citizen, WHY on earth do we need to see his birth certificate? If you're born to a US citizen, you are considered to be a US citizen I believe.

Durward Discussion said...

Okay. Giggled my way through that one. I've seen pictures of Snookie in passing, but I know I don't care.

Birthers are either the densest people on the planet who do not deserve to live on an overpopulated globe or are lying political power grubbers who do not deserve to live on an overpopulated globe. Either way BEGONE!!

Travis Cody said...

Mimi, you're upsetting the ignorant people with your insistence on using facts and evidence again. Remember, they don't want the truth, they just want to be afraid of something.

Anonymous said...

As a long standing citizen of the garden state of NJ...i can safely report that nobody outside of teenage waitresses at pizza parlors gives a rat's patootie about snooki's...
parents (if any)
opinions (about anything)
bra size
shoe size
dress size
or which of the ten single digits represents her IQ.

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