Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Mimi In A Minute #22 ~ Illegal Moose and Radio Loons

These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep. Do you mind?
I have a few things to say. This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.

To the American Idol producers: I would like a shot at judging. I sent in my resume and portfolio complete with pencil skirt photos. You think I'm not qualified? Think again.

I would like a word with my electric company.
To the customer service employee who told me that my bill had more than doubled in the last 30 days due to HEAT and that I should keep my thermostat set at 78 degrees or above to avoid further increases:If I keep it set at 78 throughout the winter when it's snowing I should get a refund. That IS what you meant, right? It is the law of reprocicicity! (a mimism)

Did you know that it's illegal in Alaska to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting?

Now I know why Sarah Palin writes in her hand

To the little ole' lady hunched into her steering wheel on I-95 going 75 to my 65 in the slow lane looking through the steering wheel (I kid you not) because she was too withered to look OVER it and wandered into my lane unaware:
GET. OFF. the. road.
You nearly gave me an unwanted haircut.

To California lawmakers waffling on the same-sex marriage issue:

Forget the votes.
Vote your conscience. And stick to it.

To Dr. Laura Schlessinger who repeatedly used the N word on her radio show last week:
I choose to believe you were sleep-deprived and Nsane at the time. Seriously, what were you thinking?

Just a thought: Why is it that I am encouraged to DIAL #such-and-such for roadside assistance when it is illegal to use my phone while driving?
To the disgraceful and despicable lot calling themselves "Christians" picketing outside private military funeral services with your hate-filled speech and ignorance:While I believe in my heart of hearts that when free speech is hate speech you should lose your right to speak, I also thank God that I live in a country where I can call a spade a spade or a lot despicable. Double standard? I don't think so.
I am not holding up an AIDS Cures F*gs sign.
When it's your time to go and some sweet someone sings "Amazing Grace" at your funeral, I want every single one of those you stole reverence from in the midst of their grief to show up carrying a sign.
You're gonna need that answer.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.

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Anonymous said...

what would JollyRanchers do???

I don't get it...

as for Dr. Laura Schlessinger, queen of spew, your time is up..move on to your next abomination please...

you're right..i do feel better

Mark In Mayenne said...

God hates gays eh? Hmmmmmm. Complete this well-known phrase or saying: God is .....

Akelamalu said...

Old people driving scare the bejebus out of me!

Anonymous said...

Did you know that it's illegal in Alaska to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting?

NO. But it sounds like a really good law :)

Hmmmm... I know a few people who could use that WWJD sign.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Road side assistance....that is when you are on the side of the road dear one and need assistance!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Over here in Britain, it's the muslims who do the picketing with the soldiera.

Red Shoes said...

My Mom had to drive that way... i.e., look through the steering wheel...

God Bless Her... I miss her so...


Mimi Lenox said...

Coopernicus....JollyRanchers. Oh dear.

Cogitator ~ My thoughts exactly!

Akelamalu - They really need to get off the road after a certain point. I'm serious.

Dawn - You and me both.

Vinny - That would require pulling over....ahh...never mind.

Red - I'm sorry you miss your mom today. I know the feeling so well.

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-Luc - Wow.How sad.

Travis Cody said...

Despicable...a good word in this context.

Best answer to those ignorant protests I ever heard of...when people like these held hateful signs and shouted foul messages outside the courtroom during the trial of one of the men who beat Matthew Shepard to death, one of Matthew's friends organized a group of people to stand silently across the street, dressed in white robes with huge wings attached.

Some say they represented angels. Perhaps. I say, since there is no arguing with hate, they chose to answer it by being present in the peace of silence.

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