Monday Mimisms ~ Happily Ever Rafter
I needed a place to hang this gown. Circa 1993. The last time this lace saw me.... Puccini and Debussy were involved. She was musty and wrinkled with no one to hear her trills. I had to do something.
It was round two of the infamous Bloggingham renovation. More attic time. More up and down the scary stairs. I moved boxes and threw out 10 more bags of junk.
All I needed was a nail and a hammer.
And being the royal priss that I am, I reached into my pink toolkit (yes, I really have a pink toolkit) and found my pink hammer which matched my handy dandy pink working gloves.
Perfection!
Until I nailed my glove to the rafter.
There I was. Stuck to the attic.
Stop laughing.
Earlier in the day I'd told my friend, Starr, to send handsome firemen with a hose and ladder if she didn't hear from me in 3 hours.
I yelled for her. She did not come.
Some friend she is.
Stop laughing.
Do you know how hard it is to teach yourself to use the other end of a prissy tool with manicured french tips while you're balancing on 2x4 joists, foam insulation, and a Monopoly Game with a missing thimble? I always wanted to be the thimble.
It picked a helluva day to go missing.
My cellphone was in my pocket. Could I reach it? No. Could I dial my friend who lives 3,000 miles away for help? No.
Could I call for Ferd or Princess Gail who might have interrupted their crazy BBQ frolicking long enough to rescue me? No.
Could I bat my Scarlett lashes at the firemen with ladders and hardhats and muscles who would come to my high and mighty rescue while I wailed through the dormers in a squeaky bella voice?
No.
Because I was nailed to the rafter.
Stop laughing.
It never happens like this in the Builder Bob books I read to Baby Boy.
The such is the important part.
Don't miss it.
19 comments:
Not my fault, I was passed out because you brought up ladders :P
For 3 hours????!
Yes I hit my head on the way down. You know I would too. I don't get called Grace for nuthin :P
Listen Grace, let's just face it. I picked the wrong person to call the EMTs. LOL
Pink gloves to match the pink hammer! LOL!!
You are the prissiest Queen I have ever been a loyal subject to! (a total compliment!)
It is SO part of your charm!
If you buy a new hammer... I'll take the pink one. I know just who to give it to!
Ferd - All God's children know I am the ONLY Queen you've ever been a subject. Ha!
But thank you for the compliment.
**currently searching through Amazon for a left pink glove**
Dawn - She so needs one of those! Maybe Santa should see to it....
I wasn't laughing. I wasn't and you can't prove I was.
I'll assume that you managed to wriggle your hand out of the glove, and then pull the nail out to get your glove down.
I've never heard dafter rafter laughter.
I didn't laugh I promise. I was admiring the lace gown - it's beautiful! ;)
Dear God, I believe I may have been possessed by the spirit of Bud Wiser! I was actually trying to craft a three-some joke re: you, Puccini and Debussy. But the lace deserves better than that.
Besides, what joke could be funnier than you nailing yourself to the rafter?
I was a whole lot closer..though it would have taken extra time so I could stop laughing...
Travis - Pull the nail out? Why didn't I think of that?
Cogitator - Now THAT was funny!
Akelamalu - Suuuure you didn't....sure.
(I loved that gown. I wore it for a voice recital.)
Gal - I agree about the lace. It remains one of my favorite dresses.
Trying to picture...oh...never mind....
Bond - Oh Lord, what a day. But you would have brought me some dinner, right?? Right??
Sorry, Friends - The horrid spammers are back as soon as I deactivated the word verification.
Back it goes. I wish they would go the frick frack away and get a real job.
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