Mimi In A Minute ~ Call 1-800-TOYOTA

These things keep me up at night.
They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain
so that I can get some sleep.
Do you mind? I have a few things to say.
This is Mimi unplugged.

Hide your children.

To Toyota: As I recall, a Recall is when you take it back to the store or manufacturer for a replacement or repair. I don't think a metal "shim" is going to work for me. I would like a blue Spyder Convertible this time (to match peace globes) and a better CD player.
I'll wait. I know you're busy.

Remember! When you get my car back, do this: But not to worry. It only fails in rare circumstances.
In which case you should....

Not to worry. This only fails in rare circumstances.
Now that you have lost the ability to steer the vehicle

Not to worry. This only fails in rare and fatal circumstances
But don't call me
I'll be on a sunny beach in my new blue Spyder. Call your friendly neighborhood Toyota dealership.
They'll fix you right up with another one.

To Fox News on the hiring of Sarah Palin:

Please. I am begging you.

Shift her into neutral.
Turn off the microphone.

It's called premature recall.

But seriously, Toyota... When there are recalls on baby beds because the slats are too narrow for our baby's precious heads, we do not hear "If your baby's head gets stuck in the slats, apply 3 seconds of Vaseline oil first, shift into a new diaper immediately and if that doesn't work call the manufacturer."

I think not.

But not to worry - it only sticks in rare circumstances


Pffft! Toyota listen.....
Some people change lanes.
I change shoes.
I just thought my gas pedal was sticking because I got the leopard print 3-inch stuck behind the floor mat. My vehicle did not come with instructions on how to safely disrobe on the exit ramp. And NOW you tell me I've got a real problem here.



Meanwhile, in other joyous news: Attention Match dot com!

Jennifer Aniston has reportedly signed up for a dating service.
There is no hope for any brunette anywhere in the known world.
I might as well cancel my subscription.

And really. I drive like a bat out of hell.
You expect me to shift while I am screaming??!

Do you see this child? This is my sweet Baby Boy.
Does he look happy to you?
He is sitting in the backseat of my Toyota.
We are trying to discuss chocolate milkshakes and trains.
Forgive me if I misspeak but there is no amount of bulls**t cover-your-butt emergency instructions and trip-over-yourself press conferences I've heard YET that has reassured me of his safety.

He deserves a car with brakes.

Something in blue?

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.