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Sunday, October 18, 2009

Monday Mimisms ~ You see, there were these bees....

....and before I knew it, they were a'flittin' and a'flying around the internet dropping ripples like sweet dripping honey on a sweetness starved day.

Where did they come from?
Glad you asked.

Once upon a time in a faraway right here on this blog universe, there was a very tired Queen. Ahem. That would be moi.

She was busy tending to personal matters of an extremely painful kind. Her father was very sick, still is very sick, and the Queen was overwhelmed...with worry and to-do lists and angst and not enough hours in the day to brush her hair much less wage a peace campaign. But that's not what this is about really. And this where the Queen steps out of her third-person-3 dimensional- Internet self and speaks from her heart. That would be now. Ahem.

Has there ever been a time in your life when it was so full of hurricane force winds that the days start to run together? You can't tell day from night? You forget what day it is? My life for the past 22 days has been like that. I've been sitting with my dad at every possible moment as he fights with his liver and his heart in a Palliative Care unit not so far away. He is still very sick and will most likely be moved to a Hospice facility soon. My sister and my mother have also been there. It has been and continues to be one of the most sobering and painful times in my life....watching him slip away and try with all his might to stay.....reversing the roles....his pain, his struggles, learning about end-of-life stages of a disease....and becoming a parent at times to the man who raised me.

This was and is my view from the third floor.

Had it not been for a certain group of blogger friends - and I do mean friends - I'm not sure I'd even be posting this tonight. But I had to take a moment to do so. It would not be like them to want credit, to ask to be named or to seek glory or praise for themselves, in fact, they might just be embarrassed. I am not. I am honored and humbled at the lengths to which they've gone to keep me surrounded with concern, laughter, advice, prayers, offering open safe spaces for venting, phone calls to and from them at all hours of the day and night came my way and continue to.. At one point there were over 300 emails in one day within the group (!) and when it was impossible for me to respond I'd always read what they were saying as I wandered the halls to the cafeteria or sat while Daddy slept, while I tried to keep working and singing and carrying on running on empty and full of adrenaline. They cracked me up. They made me cry. They were - and are - my Vinny and Nancy, Travis and Pam, Julie, Katherine, Starr, Desert Songbird, Anndi and're busted.

My heart and mind has not been on blogging, my posts have been sparse. They knew how much the loss of that connection, especially at this time, would bother me. They started an email thread to make it easier for me to keep in contact with all of them about my dad. This little group, in addition to so many of you who've emailed regularly offering comfort and hugs - literally has become my lifeline.

I will post the details of some of my shenanigans later when things calm down and how some of you played a major role in them at a later date (I'm talking to you, Julie) -like the cute security guard caper in the House of Death or the night I spent in the emergency room downstairs from daddy in the same hospital with a half-crazed man on a stretcher (don't ask) and really, do you want to hear that the Queen cussed in the hospital Chapel?
I didn't think so.

But back to the Bees and me.
I had a Blackberry. I had a laptop.
They had a plan.

Just when I was about to break out in hives - literally - they started a hive.
Literally. Vinny had a brainstorm and it was all a buzz from the get-go.
There is no stopping them, I tell ya. Remember how every year the CAT BLOSOPHERE is a force to be reckoned with? (and still is...I bow to the kitties) Now we have winged bees!

I know they love me and I love them. We've been through a lot of "stuff" together. I also know they love peace globes. Many of them met through the movement way back in 2006 (that's a loooong time ago in blog years) and are fiercely passionate about it. We've grown together as a group of bloggers with a common purpose and some sort of magical thing that gets hold of all of us this time of year. I can't explain it. They can't explain it. But the first week of November is nothing short of inspiring. And that is because of all of YOU.

The globes spin, the world speaks, the tears flow, and every year the posts I read become more powerful. And although the Universe has thrown a huge challenge my way this year, I have a solid inclination in my heart-of-hearts that this year is going to inspire all of us in ways we never expected. For my dad I want whatever form that takes. I am ready for him to be at peace and out of pain. That has taken some internal work - work I couldn't have accomplished without the time I needed to back away from the blog a bit - permission granted by the Worker Bees en force.

They said it was OK for me to let more ways than one.

I don't know all of what they've planned in that Beehive of theirs (I've been politely told to BUTT OUT and GET SOME REST) but I know that today they're planning to launch a massive meme offensive sometime around midnight Blogosphere Standard Time.
I am quite sure the United Nations missile defense system is not as well-organized, from what I hear through the brapevine.

Don't be surprised if Google goes down today. It could happen.

Sidebar: No, you are not hallucinating. There is an ocean in the hospital...and it makes wavy sounds. Baby Boy loves it!

I have had some downtime and rest today. It's been good to focus on the Facebook peace project and simple household chores for a change. The upcoming week promises to be difficult. I am still tending to my precious dad, making decisions about work and his placement, and feeling the stress of the time crunch of this launch.....but not nearly as much as I did before the bees showed up.

I'm quite sure that tomorrow's thread convo will be back to "Why did they give him this medicine NOW??" and "Why can't I find a decent cup of coffee in the whole hospital??" and "PUHLEASE somebody keep me from having a meltdown right here and now." which I will either receive a "Snap out of it, Mimi! Don't make me come over there" from Starr, a virtual hug from Nancy, a prayerful tune from Songbird, a poem from Travis, an across-the-border Canadian phone call from Anndi, a stern "Drink your water, Dear" from Vinny, marvelous sage advice from Kat, a giggle from Julie or simply "Just checking. You're in my heart and my prayers today" from Dawn, who by the way, climbed a rock in the wilds of Newfoundland to wave at me and take a picture which she won't let me post. .....

To say "thank you" is totally inadequate and besides, I will admit, I still need them and depend on them. And YOU guys, my readers, just to know you are here and praying for my dad and the whole situation with comments and letters and chats to check can I ever repay you? I've had to learn to lean on somebody else - all of you - and trust that it will work out.

I now understand that's OK. That's what they expect. That is what they do. It's in the Worker Bee Manual or something.

I must do my part and let the bees buzz.
Hands off the Beehive.

So if you see this Worker Bee thing buzzing through the sphere, consider offering them a hand if you feel so inclined and know this: It was not borne of minutiae, cuteness, boredom, or trivial fodder ran amok; but of concern for someone who needed help, of friendship, and a commitment to a common passion known as Peace Globes.

When one fell down - that would be moi - a whole hive came to my rescue.

It's not likely I'll ever forget it.


Desert Songbird said...

Dearest Mimi, my part in all of this has been minimal at best, but know that I do what little I can to ease your burden and put peace in your heart.

I stand there with you as you sit vigil with your dad, knowing full well the emotions involved, and hoping that you find comfort in the small giggles we send you.

Peace be with you, my friend.

And drink your water.

Dawn Drover said...

Do you remember "The Field of Dream"?

My favorite quote is...
“If you build it, they will come.”

It's all about faith... November 5th... they will come.

Much love to you my friend.

Julie said...

Eating milkduds and crying doesn't work too well. I am most proud to be a Mimi Bee. Now I just gotta get the badge on my sidebar.

Love you Mimi....BBBZZZZZzzzzz!

Mimi Lenox said...

Songbird - Your part has not been minimal. From the moment you sang "Dona nobis pacem" on a video for peace globes day, some kind of connection grew between us whether you were aware or not. I still get goosebumps listening to you sing.

You have given and continue to give me advice about what I'm facing. You've been through it with both parents. I can't imagine how you managed all that you did.

Love you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - My son and I watched that movie together many times. I've always loved the idea of the seed and the faith it took to do what he did. There were many small and large peaceful resolutions in that film.

There are always peaceful revelations for me on BlogBlast Day.

Love you too.

Cinnamon Girl said...

Mimi dear we are doing nothing more than what you would do for us. I hope you are having a lovely cup of tea and enjoying your globes and RESTING!

Mimi Lenox said...

Julie - I told you about those milkduds. Share. Please?

And by the way, the story WILL come out about the snack machine man and you making me laugh in that awful place. Just sayin'...

Mimi Lenox said...

Starr - Ummm....I am having French Vanilla coffee but don't tell anybody cause I know I'm supposed to be drinking water...I'm a little wired as you know. Julie won't share her milkduds either!

Enjoying my....oh...okay. Will do.

Cinnamon Girl said...

I'm having Irish coffee so I can't say much :P

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Mimi with all you have accomplished and all you had on you plate; it only made sense that the Globes would still fly.
Funny thing this internet- how those you have never met can spread their wings and beat them fast enough to hold a family member aloft.
It was what you would have done.

Desert Songbird said...

Well, Mimi, when I lost my parents I didn't have the wide net that you have. My only net was my sisters who were all going through the ordeal with me. You are blessed. Truth be told, I went nuts for a while, because there is more the story that I may or may not have revealed.

Keep a song in your heart, Mimi. You'll find peace there.

Mimi Lenox said...

Starr - We are both coffee freaks for sure. It's my only vice...yeah right, Mimi.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - I never doubted the globes would still fly. I have infinite faith in peace bloggers you see....I did have doubts as to whether I would fly in the middle of all this turmoil.

My friends gave me a net and I let go. I know it's there now.

Thank you and smooch.

Mimi Lenox said...

Songbird - I know your story is full of pain, as all such stories are. I also know how strong you are and how much faith you have. The song is never far away. I have found myself missing the comfort of my piano though.
There is one downstairs in the cancer unit. I've thought about trying it out on occasion.
Thanks for the reminder.

Charles Gramlich said...

Sometimes life is just overwhelming. I've been worried about my mom lately, who has been in the hospital with pneumonia. But she was released today so that is a good thing. Hang in there. I pray things will get better for you in all ways soon.

j said...

You reap what you sow Mimi. You are blessed with loving friends because they are responding to the love that you've shown them. It's a beautiful thing to behold!

Continued prayers and warm thoughts for you and your family.

Michelle said...

(((hug))) Mimi - For having so much on your plate that is nasty at the moment.

I've got my own hospital stories. Some good, some bad. I haven't yet cussed in a chapel, but I did end up in a nose-to-nose word fight with a selfish petty relative. They say tragedy bring out the best in people... truth is it brings out the real you. The "real" petty relative was an experience similar to your crazy man - not worth repeating!

But the good "real" people do shine their brightest in dark times. I can see you glowing from here, Mimi, and all those litle bee helpers are like fireflies. XXX

bobbie said...

So happy that you have so much support at this time. My thoughts are there with you too. I've known scenes like this too many times myself. All too familiar.

Anndi said...

Ah geez... it's because I love you.

I know what it's like to be torn in many directions when this sad and difficult time comes... so whenever you feel a little squeeze, it's a little bee coming to leave you some honey.

Drink your water.

Durward Discussion said...


All those bees were there for you now because you sent beauty into the blogosphere a long time ago. It is just returning home now when you need it.

OBLadyBug said...

Dear Mimi,

I hope today brings you peace and joy amongst all the chaos. I'm honored to be part of the worker bees and humbled by your sweet post today.


Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

HEY - It is my job to tell her to drink the water!


Travis Cody said...

Awww shucks darlin'. We just follow your lead. And every once in awhile, we add a little personal touch.

That's the ripple effect.

Carver said...

Mimi I'm so glad you're letting go somewhat. You are as ever in my heart and thoughts.

The Gal Herself said...

I admit I'm one of your more selfish subjects in that I miss my Queen and run amok without her. But you're where you have to be and you're doing what you have to do and nothing matters more than that. You have started a revolution, there's no going back now. I believe that what you began has its own momentum and you will be pleased, proud, and so heartened by what you see on November 5.

Akelamalu said...

You have already seen my previous comment Mimi, so it's a little late for me to delete it I know but I had to.

What I meant to say was

"I'm sending oodles of Reiki to your dear Daddy".

Forgive me?

Know I'm thinking of you. xxxx

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Bees are always so busy working hard.

Mojo said...

I dunno abotu bees, but I believe I remember telling you "Other people can keep the peace globes spinning. Other people cannot do this."

You have to pick your battles my dear. And while your fortitude is never in question, there is only so much one person can do. Even when that person is a Queen.

Those who "get it" will understand why you must delegate a lot of this BlogBlast to others. Those who don't get it, probably never will. But at the end of the day, you have to assign your priorities in a way that you can live with. Now and hereafter.

The bees will buzz, the world will turn, and the peace globes will fly. And in the end, you will have learned a valuable lesson.

That you don't have to do it all.

mielikki said...

ask one of the nicer nurses where the coffee is. Especially the night shift nurses. They ALWAYS know where the coffee is.
Do take care of yourself.
Sending good positive thoughts to you and yours

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - I'm sorry your mother has been ill. I'm glad she is doing better now. Thanks very much for your thoughts.

Mimi Lenox said...

Jennifer - You are one of the most sincere and loving people I know. That meant so much. I am blessed with incredible friends.

Mimi Lenox said...

Michelle - They DO shine like fireflies. Perfect analogy.

Your video is stunning and I've seen it displayed in quite a few places. I'm going to continue to post it on FB and do a blog post too.

You are a true peace blogger at heart and always have been. I very much look forward to your post on November 5th and all that will occur between now and then.
You are right.
There is something very special about this launch.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bobbie - Thank you very much. It's amazing just how many folks have been through the exact same thing and offered just the advice I needed at JUST the right time.

Mimi Lenox said...

Anndi - Your squeezes are here ya know. Love you too.

Mimi Lenox said...

Jamie - Awwww... what a lovely thought about the goodness of people. Thank you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Nancy - I can't wait to meet you in Atlanta and give you a real hug. Thanks for honoring me with a comment.

Tell me you're a hugger! Right?

Finding Pam said...

Since I can't help as a worker bee because I know not what I do, I will be a praying bee.

I am keeping you in my prayers. We all understand where you are right now, and that is where you should be...with your Dad and family.

I love you my friend.

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - Ripples are flowing...bees are buzzing...
I know I'm the official "leader" but I've always said I'm following all of you. Peace bloggers make the ripples turn into waves.

I can't wait to see what the bees buzz up!

Mimi Lenox said...

Carver - It is a process, isn't it? Thanks for the prayers. I am drawing such strength.

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - I'm already heartened and at peace about it. I have to remind myself that it's OK to lean on others. And these guys?

Precious and priceless they are...

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - We discussed this, dear one. There is no need to apologize. It was just a typo!

You know how much I love you!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-Luc - Do they ever get tired? I wonder.

Mimi Lenox said...

Mojo - And I took what you said to heart. You were right.

Mimi Lenox said...

Mielikki - Thank you. He was moved to a Hospice care facility tonight. He seems to be adjusting very well. A new search for coffee begins...Thank you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Pam - THAT is what I'm talking about. A praying bee. Yes!
No words, my friend, no words....


I'm having one right now for you and your dad. So here's to prayers and peace...may the abundance of one lead to an overflow of the other.

Ferd said...

How wonderful! What a great support network at this difficult time! I have long believed that eFriends are for real!
You know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Mimi!

jmb said...

My dearest Mimi, I had no idea about this sad part of your life. I came to get my peace globe for the third year and read this.

May your father pass peacefully and may your family find comfort in the wonderful memories of your shared lives.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Mimi, and your loving family.

Julia Phillips Smith said...

My security scramble word is 'laterb' - ha! ha!

Your worker bees feel honored to serve Blog Blast for Peace, Mimi. And to have met such a wonderful network of friends.

((hugs)) to you, Mimi.

katherine. said...

thanks for letting me BEEEEEEEEE part of the swarm.

I continue to cover you and yours in prayer.

Cheffie-Mom said...

I came over from Carver's blog. I'm sending positive thoughts and peace your way. Blessings and hugs.

Marilyn said...

Some awesome bees you have there! (((Hugs)))

Please take care of yourself. The world needs you.

Tarheel Rambler said...

I haven't been part of the worker bee population, but know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers often. You know how well I can relate to your experiences.

I stopped by to thank you for you expressions of sympathy for the loss of my mother. Yes, everyone, the Queen never forgets her faithful subjects. With all she's been going through she still takes the time to offer words of support.

Your expression of support means more than I can tell you. Know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Annelisa said...

I'm so sorry to read now what you went through with your dad, Mims. I had such a similar experience with my mum Jan-August 2008.

"watching him slip away and try with all his might to stay.....reversing the roles....his pain, his struggles, learning about end-of-life stages of a disease....and becoming a parent at times to the man who raised me."
- that really got me...that could've been my mum and I you were talking about! :-(

Glad you had so many good friends to stand by you. I'm sure it made all the difference...

((((((hugs)))))) XX

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