Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Caution: Watch Out For Falling Ornaments (A Randomly Stupid Day)

I'm blaming it on yesterday's bad luck.

I got stuck underneath the Christmas tree last night when I tried to plug it up (stop laughing, Don) and a large pink ornament fell on my pencil head. Luckily, I'm hard-headed.
It started a chain reaction of ridiculous events (told in no particular order. I'm traumatized. I can't be expected to make sense too.)

I discovered exactly 3 pair of heels in my closet that had no match. I just wore them last week! What did I do with my shoes......must have been one of my sleepwalking episodes again. Have any of you seen my shoes? Did I leave them on your blog?

Today I put on my reading glasses upside down in front of 450 people. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I had no choice but to turn them the right way and proceed.
I know I heard giggling.


I got a paper cut on my face. My FACE??!

The light bulb blew in the staircase (way up high where I can't reach it without hiring someone with a ladder) and the washing machine spinner won't spin. I had to channel my pioneer-woman-alter-ego-Laura Ingalls Wilder to wring 'em out before I could dry them!

I literally had to euthanize a spider with the spike of my heel right before I sat down to play a concert this afternoon. Don't look, Trav!
I'm a peaceful woman. I hate murder.
The spider wasn't too enthused either.

And I broke - B.R.O.K.E. - a nail playing the 16th notes on p.6 measure 73.
It went flying somewhere into the audience.
I hope it's happy!!!!

I lost the top of one of Bloggingham's Christmas trees. How could a person lose the top to a Christmas tree?

I had after work dinner plans with a friend. She cancelled at the last minute. Two of my "followers" (yeah. I'm talking to YOU) stopped following me. WHY does this happen on a day I'm feeling so out of sorts? You planned it that way, didn't you.....

I came home exhausted and fell asleep watching Katie Couric (she's just not exciting since she cut her hair) and woke up to find I had rolled over onto a stray green glass ornament (thanks Baby Boy) and squished it into the cushion - and me.

Then......I took a 45 minute shower to wash away the memory of the nasty spider, the truly traumatic nail loss, and to wash out all embedded green fragments from my naturally curly hair.
I nearly fell asleep -I kid you not - in the shower.

I decided to cook.

This is always a bad idea.

I made "cheesy eggs" (no, not an omelette....we all know I can't make omelettes anymore. Stop laughing, Bud).
Scrambled cheesy eggs. Yum. Yes?
How did eggshells get in the eggs?

Hungry and determined not to write a blog post, I sat down to write a blog post about not writing a blog post because of this randomly weird day and ended up writing a blog post.
I'm putting on my jammies.

I want a glass of Chardonnay.
But I can't find the corkscrew.

Copyright © 2006-2008 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.


Ferd said...

Boy, if ever anyone needed a do over, like Bill Murray on Groundhog Day, it's YOU!!! LOL!
You'd have to do it over and over until you got it right!
(I won't be holding my breath. Ha!)

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

You can't even find the chardonnay... ;)

Mimi Lenox said...

Ferd - I watched that movie with commenter #2 as a matter of fact. I never told him that it reminded me of me.

You won't be holding your breath.....funny, funny guy....ha ha ha!

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - How did you know?

Mimi Lenox said...

But things are getting better. I just got follower #99. Yay! Somebody please make it an even 100. Maybe I won't have to drink the wine.
IF I can find it....

Anonymous said...

Just hit the top of the chardonnary bottle on the counter and break it off.

You've met my future husband to be haven't you?! I know from whom to get an introduction. ;)

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Hey its better to get the crap out all in one day therefore your good until the new year. fingers crossed.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Wow, what a bad day indeed. Tomorrow has to be a better day. What could be worse than all this.

I didn't take you out of my reader. So, it wasn't me. Just saying.

TRY to have a better day tomorrow. Big hug and lotsa lovies. :)

Mimi Lenox said...

Fish - Oh surely you don't need a formal introduction.... But if you still have your heart set on Groban, I'll see what I can do.
I saw him around here this morning....

Mimi Lenox said...

Queen - Does that theory really work?

Mimi Lenox said...

Sandee - Ohhhh....there could be lots worse than all this. You've been reading my blog a long time. Surely you know that! Bwaahhhahhhhaa..

Don said...

That's it - I'm coming over, and I'm bringing my corkscrew! Your highness, you sound like you really need it. Well, that and maybe a foot massage... ;-)

Mimi Lenox said...

Don - You have a corkscrew and massage powers! YAY! I'll chill....(the wine)..I have a tree ya know and I'm not afraid to use it.
That didn't sound right, somehow.

Last Place Finisher said...

At that point you say, "Hell with the corkscrew, smash the bottle of Chardonnay against the wall, pull out a bottle of bourbon (no corkscrew required) and write dirty limericks (or think about playing Rachmaninoff).

Mimi Lenox said...

LPF - Rachmaninoff would precipitate and encourage the dirty limericks. Great idea! Would take my mind off spiders and losing my shoes.

The bourbon might seriously kill me.

otowi said...

So sorry - I remember days that feel like that - I guess we all have them now and then!

So how DO you wring clothes well enough for the dryer - I've had to do that before and wasn't very good at it!

Anonymous said...

"I hate murder.
The spider wasn't too enthused either."

I scared the cat when I read this and let out a guffaw! Roy Cooper announced this morning he was appointing a special prosecutor to look into your case. (If you don't live in North Carolina, you probably won't know who Roy Cooper is.)

Reading this made me feel grateful that the past several days have been pretty boring. I don't need your kind of activities to liven up my days. Let's hope the remaining days between now and Christmas are a little more mundane.

Shannon H. said...

You need a break after that day Ms. Queen! Too bad there are no eraseies!

Summer said...

Whoa. When it rains it pours. I had that kind of day yesterday too.

Poptart said...

I probably have the matches to your shoes here with me. We should compare pics to make sure. HA!

I can't believe The Queen had to wring out her own stuff. What is this world coming to?!

Hope today is more UNeventful for you, Mimi.

Starrlight said...

Our bizarre weather continues to provide the LOLZ here in Orygon. Oh and Mimi? Butter knives are your friend. I use them all the time when my wine opener goes missing. Damn thing does it a lot too!

Had a paper cut on my face once. Right on the edge of the nose. Ouchies!

Charles Gramlich said...

At this rate, you're sure to find a pea under your mattress when you sleep.

I'm quite curious about the shoes, though. This is a mystery worth persuing.

Anonymous said...

Nope, I checked the calendar & it's not Friday the 13th...sounds like you had a me kinda day. I have that kind more often than not. No day starts out well when you shove yourself into jeans that are now about 2 sizes too small. Muffin top? Ha! Try mushroom cloud. Maybe I should send you my Poor Hubby to cook for you. Even his worst efforts are better than my best. Don't get any ideas, though, Your Highness. It would only be a loan!

Akelamalu said...

That was one bad day! :(

Desert Songbird said...

Lately, I've had more than my share of randomly stupid days.


I feel like an idiot many times these days.

Mimi Lenox said...

Otowi - It's crazy! I hate the washer thing....

Lee - Mundane? And what would I do for a blog post pray tell?

Shannon - I'll ask Santa for one.

Summer - What did you do to survive it? Chardonnay? Meditation? All of the above?

Poptart - Thanks! What size do you wear?

Mimi Lenox said...

Starrlight - But really. How does a wine opener go missing? Do you suppose it's with the missing socks and matching shoes somewhere?
Butter knife. Got it.

I can't find it.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - The shoes are freaking me out. Seriously. I have tennis shoes with the same affliction!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Autumn - The servants will return this weekend and then all will be well. Homer is getting really tired of hearing me complain though.

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu and Desert - Let's all take a deep breath and start over, shall we?

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Lost shoes? I wonder if the heels goblin took them. He has a bunch of my socks and a pair of gloves.
I think we all have days like this Mimi, your post puts everything into perspective though. Once home, and in our own comfort zone, the battles of one's day seem to dissapate.
I think jammies are "magic clothes" ... don't you?
The world always looks brighter with them on!

Thanks for your sweet comment today too. ((smile))

Starrlight said...

Would I seem totally desperate if I also owned up to totally using a screwdriver if the butter knife doesn't work ;)

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric - Jammies...umm.....and Chardonnay or Godiva and a fire and trees twinkling and music playing.
Say....why am I going out today?
I think I'll just stay home and do all of the above. Where are those jammies?....

Mimi Lenox said...

Starr - LOL. That cracked me up. Now where is the screwdriver?

Travis said...

You made me laugh until I started coughing. And then Pam came and asked what was so funny.

(I skipped on past the spider part)

Then she read and started laughing.

Then we were both laughing and coughing.

Mimi Lenox said...

Trav and Pam - Cheers and laughs to both of you! Drink up!

Julie said...

You need to come and live with me. I ALWAYS have a corkscrew!

Julie said...

Or or or can join a corkscrew of the month club?

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