Monday Mimisms: Trainwreck In The Blogosphere

What was I thinking??!

Last week I decided that writing about my mean ole' funk would make me feel better. So I sat down to spill my sorrows on the page and voila (!) it became a meme. Some things I should keep to myself. It became The Funky Meme. I can't help it. I meme everything. And what did I do with the 14 question psychologically exhausting meme? I tagged everybody and his brother.

Not only that, I gave out Dungeon Amnesty Cards to the first ten bloggers to finish the monster and help me get out of my doldrums. And so we all did what good bloggers do. We willy-nilly passed it on to our friends.

What were we thinking??!

Before I knew it, people all over the blogosphere were in a funk.

This is where it gets sad. Those who were already in a funk got worse. Bloggers who'd never had a funk wanted to see what the fuss was all about and decided they needed one too. Others read why their friends were in a funk and started a support group or just started a rumor.

While a few insightful memers had the wisdom to sit this one out, most weren't so lucky. Bloggers discussed past serious funks they'd had over the years and got so depressed they went back in. Some had to go into blerapy (that's blog + therapy for all you non-blog speakers). Others began on a happy note but by the time they'd finished the meme they had relapsed into misery. Some people started answering the questions with the cup half full. Most finished with an empty mug saying "Now that you mention it, I AM in a funk!" While some extolled the virtues of supportive spouses and friends, still others suddenly remembered they were alone in the first place. More funk. A few had been out of a funk for years and after doing this meme, deliberately crawled back in. Recovering alcoholics started drinking again and it was a stellar week for Prozac sales.

Bloggers who were standing on the sidelines watching this disaster drama decided to step in and help. Hugs, cake, Reiki, prayers, rosary beads, voodoo spells and flaming walnuts were thrown out with abandon.

Then the rebellion.

I remember seeing a comment somewhere that said, "What's Mimi trying to do? Kill us??!" (They think I can't hear things but I do.....)

Followed by frolic and mutiny.
It was shameful! Mo refused to funk himself even for the Queen, balking at my meanness memeness. And this blogger had a panic attack in the middle and insisted he'd rather kill himself than finish the meme. He died after question 13. It was a mess!

So I've decided to wave my Queen wand thingy and declare this week FUNK FREE Week! No more whining, sniffling, wallowing and wailing. No more grumpiness and no more castigating. I realize this is going to take some effort on my part, and maybe on yours too, but I think I'm coming to grips with some of the catastrophes I faced last week. And while I certainly had reason to funk (trust me...and I hope to share the details at a later date) I'm really getting tired of having a meltdown every hour. And besides, the prisoners downstairs are lonely. Since Dawn, Sandee, Shannon, Ferd, Asara, Tish and Bud (who called it "your horror meme") are clear of the dungeon forever and ever amen, I kind of wish I hadn't told them they didn't have to do my memes for the rest of their blives. They could have spent some quality time here with the Queen.
I'm gonna miss 'em.

What was I thinking??!!

I'm tired of funking.

If you were one of those kind souls who listened to me babble on in the middle of my roller-coaster nightmare, I sincerely thank you. There is still a lot of work to do but there does appear to be an end in sight. I will keep you posted.

P.S. I still have four Stay-Out-The-Dungeon cards left if you'd like to do the meme.

But don't blame me for your funk.

Or your voluntary commitment.

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