Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Shhhh!! The Queen Is Getting a Reduction..... - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

It's true.
I'm over-inflated. Ballooned. Weighted down.
In fact, it is rumored Mimi Writes is (gulp) "top heavy." Oh the scandal. My blog is over-endowed. Alas, my cups runneth over.

All four of them.
It's time to trim the sidefat and pass the scalpel.
Let's face it. I have a condition known in the medical world as blog hypertrophy - more specifically - with a puberescent lopsided tendency. The left. Unsightly. The cause is generally unknown; except, in this case the presence of spinning globe slides is the likely culprit. How could peace wreak such havoc?
lolcats - Caption a Kitten -

It has come to my attention that my blog is loading VERY slowly. Visitors are getting impatient and leaving the castle before I even have time to let down the drawbridge. People stare and then turn away. Oh the shame. It's embarrassing.
They're throwing their blogcars in reverse and backing out of Bloggingham. - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

That dog is really getting on my nerves.

As I was saying.....My symptoms are so much worse than I've admitted even to my closest friends. I've been suffering in silence, carrying this heavy load of bloglogs and awards, technorati stats and comment columns. It's all too much for me (!) interfering with my routine activities, disrupting my sleep and now I fear I'm developing a blog-denity crisis. Emergency! Emergency! I quickly called Sanni Dr. Anonymous MO Dr. Blogstein a Certified Blogastic Surgeon for a consultation and thorough bloxamination.

His diagnosis....... - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

"The woman needs plastic surgery. "

I was afraid of that. - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

"I plan to create a better proportioned curvature in the left sidebar greatly reducing the amount of unnecessary blissue and repetitive stroking -achieving symmetry and harmony in blogland.....aesthetically speaking, of course. Change of color is optional. Side effects are positively predictable.

Award removal is not advised due to the Queen's oversized and inoperable ego."

Dr. Benjamin Blogamatic ("Dr. Blog")

University Blogosphere, Academy of Blogastic Blurgeons in the Pediablatic Dept. (for blogs 2 years and under)

What are the symptoms?
Do you have the - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more of blog enlargement?

1. Cranky readers

2. Multiple site meter statistics of ZERO seconds on the blog, aka as premature clicking

3. Exponential tagging-for-spite by bloggers who used to be your friends

4. Decline in comment participation or half-baked comments

and the No. 1 tell-tale sign you may need a blog reduction -

5. The boring blog next door is thriving - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more

Don't worry. Blog reduction is a highly successful procedure and you should be very pleased with the results. And if all else fails, there's always general anesthesia and major narcotics to help me my mother us you make it through the operation.
I think I need to lie down now.


Hammer said...

Interesting. I've done reductions before. Uually when someone goes AWOL for for then 2 months I drop them from the blog roll.

Sometimes when having a few adult beverages, I get a little too free wheeling, end up trimming too much and offending someone.

Travis said...

I think I had a minor case the other day when I posted my recap of the recent SYTYCD season. I posted a tad too many videos.


It's good to know that there is hope, just in case it happens again. Dancing With the Stars is on the horizon after all.


Akelamalu said...

I'm glad you're not going to trim down your awards Mimi - because you have another one, please call by to collect it. :)


JaniceNW said...

Funny. The animals pictures are sure to nab readers as well.

Patti said...

Blaughing and smiling a lot. That's me after reading this.

FoxxFyrre said...

Hi Mimi,

Back on-line finally--Yippie!!!!

I swear, a whole week without the net, or access to any decent programs, I swear I thought I was going to come out of my skin.

Congrats on the best writing blog.
I will catch up with everything.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

is this called a blogectomy? cause i was thinking about something. you know what they call the surgery when a girl wants to be a guy? addadicktome...

smiles, bee

Bond said...

Well The Couch will be reupholstered soon and things will appear, things will disappear, things will be pulled down and pulled up and zipped and twisted and...OH no that is me... never mind....

Mimi Lenox said...

Hammer - I have added you to my link list!

Trav - I love the widgets and slides and meezes but they slow down the blog. And people are here to read (hopefully), not watch.

Bob I'ts just hard to decide what goes and what stays. Like cleaning out my shoe closet.

Odat said...

Oh Goody...I'm glad you realized it yourself, rather than me having to tell you...then, of course, you would have not believed me. Good luck with the surgery!!!! I'm sure it will be for the best!


Dr. Blogstein said...

Not since Solei Moon Frye has there been this much need for a reduction!

Sanni said...

The average loading time of "Bloggingham Palace" is 1.9 Seconds - 57% sites are loading slower =)

Please don´t cut away too much, Queen Mimi. I´d miss the globes.

Smalltown RN said...

I just came over from akelamalu place....and well what can I is everything and then your layout...your are funny and witty....and very talented in the way of the blog...cut back, blogectomy? I don't think so....

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu Thanks for the award! I soooo appreciate it and am honored. I love your blog as well.

Patti I don't know what to cut away from Bloggingham without losing my royal blogblood!I'm perplexed!!
P.S. Glad you're "blaughing" though....

Mimi Lenox said...

Janice Thanks! Glad you enjoyed!

Frank - Being without the internet must purgatory! Sorry.

Blogstein HA HA very funny. lol

Mimi Lenox said...

BEE!! - Oh my gosh. You just came out with it, didn't ya?
You crack me up. lol lol

Mimi Lenox said...

And no, Bee....I do not wish to become a King! lol
But I do wish my prince would sail by. Have you seen him?

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond Too funny. It's not polite to zip up and pull down and all that in public ya know....

Odat! I need strength. This is hard to do. I'm having a blog crisis. Help.

Mimi Lenox said...

Sanni - You do have a point. I'm soooo torn. I got your email. 1.9 seconds? Is that all?


Sanni - I got your email and we'll definitely talk. You have some great suggestions. You're right. I do NOT want to get rid of the globe slide. How could I??! It wouldn't be me anymore.

Mimi Lenox said...

smalltownrnSo nice to make your cyber-acquaintance. Do come back. I'll buzz on over to your blog and have a read....

Lizza said...

Your blogs load fast for me.

But good luck with the blog surgery if you decide to go on with it.

crazy working mom said...

It's loading fine for me, Queen. :)

Odat said...

Just for you info..your blog loads fine for me while at work (shh), but it freezes up my computer at home!

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