Tuesday, March 27, 2007

American Idol: In The Pocket

It had to be the boots.

I learned a lot from American Idol last night, my first time viewing since the excruciating audition process. Seems this year they're playing a new game. Your performance needs to be "in the pocket" - "da bomb" or just plain "fly." I don't know these terms. I have a classical voice degree. I've never heard "Hey, Yo! Miss Pencil Skirt! Your coloratura was da bomb."
Even when I bombed, I don't think I would have wanted to hear that.
Ask me about fugues, rondos, passaggio, German Lieder and timbre. But please, don't mention my fly.
Pencil Skirts are sensitive about those things.

I've performed everything from pop to Puccini and had my share of onstage "moments" - some good and and some well....memorable. Like the time my friend and I accidentally locked ourselves in the ladies room a pea-second before we had to sing arias during an upscale Opera Dinner. Maybelline made us lose track of time. Thank goodness the socialites of the city that night had enjoyed more than one Chardonnay and (hopefully) didn't notice. Who wants to listen to Mozart's Magic Flute anyway??! We all know they were there to be seen.
Unfortunately, we were there to be heard.

Up until that time none of the female characters had actually died in Magic Flute. We were the first to get death threats in the missing second act.

From the conductor.

I don't think Mozart wanted it that way.

Perhaps if I'd been wearing boots - like Gina and LaKisha -when I finally broke down the door in my evening gown (darn that noisy crinoline), it would have caused less of a stir. It was a moment. 
Although LaKisha wore the "fly boots" in the first number, they just weren't working for her like Gina's who sang "I'll Stand By You." I think LaKisha will soon depart.   

As for Gina, I love the passion in her voice.
Chris - Just strange. Besides the rhythmic disaster there's just no punch in his palette.  Bounce in his curls, maybe, but no palette punch. He not only couldn't find his passaggio (I hate it when that happens) I don't think he has one. Painful.

Sanjaya who sang "Bath Water" earned the funniest comment from mean-mouthed Simon. The child was wearing a rooster comb on his head. "I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight," quipped the pithy judge. If I'd heard that after a performance I would have tucked my crinoline back into the latrine and flushed myself down the toilet. Boots and all.

He forgot the words, NO vocals and he wiggles. I think he'd had too many Dramamine or something. The guy has a beautiful smile and I love his confidence. But I hate the Mohawk.

Haley Scarnato: soft rendition and too controlled. Boring.
But the classy outfit worked for her. It took my attention away from her voice. I didn't like Simon's "sweet but forgettable" comment.
How unkind. I would have withered.
And then she returned to sing Stevie Nicks in my boots.
Every soprano needs a little leather.

Phil Stacey: "Every breath you take," by Police started off like milk toast. Ended like honey.

Melinda Doolittle: She smiles with her eyes when she sings. Love that. She has the strut thing too. No problems with her vocals. She's the girl to watch. It's interesting to see someone surprised at their own talent while listening to compliments. Nice to see her encouraged and growing as a singer.

Blake Lewis - sexy voice. Light husky edge. The in-between magic was missing, I felt. Just OK. After the ladies votes. Paula, "I loved what you did with the song." Flirting?

Jordin Sparks "Hey Baby Hey Baby"......The boots again. Gray boots with red checked gingham. She looked like Dorothy in the red light district. Hey Baby is like that annoying Old MacDonald Had A Farm song and about as interesting as Happy Birthday. But the checks were clever and memorable, even if the melody wasn't.

Chris (the other one, yes, that Chris) sang "Don't Speak."
Christ, don't sing.
"I like your flavor, man." (Randy) Huh? I like your flavor?

Randy needs to get the cotton out of his taste buds. Chris sings like he just ate a rutabaga. I agree with Simon. The other two judges weren't listening.

Chris (the only one, yes, that Chris)Ahh...those were the days.
But I digress.
As for fashion....er...I mean music. (imagine soprano rolling her eyes) I hope Sanjaya doesn't try to put that rooster comb in his pocket.
And for heaven's sakes you-boot-strutting girls, stay out of the ladies room.

Unless you need to kick the door down.


Linda said...

Maybe it's just me but there's just something missing from this season's competition. As Randy might say, "I'm just not feelin' it, dawg."

Last season I didn't want to miss a show because the contestants were just so good and this year, even when I have it on, I'm not really watching it. Though I must say I did see Sanjaya's, er, hairstyle and had one of those "what in the blue hell is that on his head?" moments.

Just watch, he'll still be there after tonight though Lord knows why! He need some boots himself and they need to be made for walking ... off of the show!

jbwritergirl said...

I say just a pair of the high black leather boots for your upcoming tryst and sing all the way into you know who's arms!

Jessie said...

Sanjaya is something. I thought he'd be gone tonight but nope... What a mess this season.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hi mimi, this is about that tv show people are watching now, right?

smiles, bee

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - Good line! Somebody needs to sing Nancy Sinatra.

Mimi Lenox said...

JB - Boots are packed!

Mimi Lenox said...

Jessie - Mess, mess, mess......

Mimi Lenox said...

Bee - Ha ha ha....you slay me.

Anonymous said...

Woo! They've started it again. I ain't knew about it.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

If you take Jacqui's advice let me know. I'd like to warn Hamied...

Michael C said...

It's hard getting into this season's contestants. I heard that the ratings have plateaued too.

Bond said...

MIMI: A solo review... and nicely done... I only have to disagree with the "other Chris"... he never showed any range of talent...everything was the same...

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - You've been warned.

Mimi Lenox said...

Michael - The ratings should be in the proverbial latrine.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond - Yes, a solo. Bud and I are onto other endeavors. Stay tuned.
But we do love Daughtry.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bob - If Simon leaves the show, there will be no show. I think he is spot-on most of the time (albeit rude) but is occasionally musically deaf, in my opinion.

If anyone goes, it should be Seacrest. YUK.

Linda said...

I had heard the same thing that Bob did in regards to Simon leaving and I wouldn't blame him for it would be a total insult to all of those who do have talent to have Sanjaya win. It would take away any credibility the show ever had.

As for Simon, I think he is the only one who tells it like it is and doesn't sugar-coat anything. I agree that he's spot-on and maybe he needs a few lessons in sensitivity but when the guy is right, the guy is right.

And as for Daughtry - love him - just totally and completely love him!

Julie said...

I'm finding myself tuning in mostly to see how badly Sanjaya performs. It's like a train wreck that you can't take your eyes off of! Oh, I hope LaKisha steps it up - I would hate to see her go so early. I was hoping for a power-diva face off in the finals - LaKisha vs. Melanie. Yeah yeah yeah so check it out! Dog! ;-)

Palm Springs Savant said...

nice summary of AmIdol...I mostly agree..I think there others to go before LaKisha tho...I still liked last week's performance of Shirley Bassey's "Diamonds Are Forever"

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