American Idol: In The Pocket

It had to be the boots.

I learned a lot from American Idol last night, my first time viewing since the excruciating audition process. Seems this year they're playing a new game. Your performance needs to be "in the pocket" - "da bomb" or just plain "fly." I don't know these terms. I have a classical voice degree. I've never heard "Hey, Yo! Miss Pencil Skirt! Your coloratura was da bomb."

Even when I bombed, I don't think I would have wanted to hear that.

Ask me about fugues, rondos, passaggio, German Lieder and timbre. But please, don't mention my fly.

Pencil Skirts are sensitive about those things.

I've performed everything from pop to Puccini and had my share of onstage "moments" - some good and and some well....memorable. Like the time my friend and I accidentally locked ourselves in the ladies room a pea-second before we had to sing arias during an upscale Opera Dinner. Maybelline made us lose track of time. Thank goodness the socialites of the city that night had enjoyed more than one Chardonnay and (hopefully) didn't notice. Who wants to listen to Mozart's Magic Flute anyway??! We all know they were there to be seen.
Unfortunately, we were there to be heard.

Up until that time none of the female characters had actually died in Magic Flute. We were the first to get death threats in the missing second act.

From the conductor.

I don't think Mozart wanted it that way.

Perhaps if I'd been wearing boots - like Gina and LaKisha -when I finally broke down the door in my evening gown (darn that noisy crinoline), it would have caused less of a stir. It was a moment. 
Although LaKisha wore the "fly boots" in the first number, they just weren't working for her like Gina's who sang "I'll Stand By You." I think LaKisha will soon depart.   

As for Gina, I love the passion in her voice.
Chris - Just strange. Besides the rhythmic disaster there's just no punch in his palette.  Bounce in his curls, maybe, but no palette punch. He not only couldn't find his passaggio (I hate it when that happens) I don't think he has one. Painful.


Sanjaya who sang "Bath Water" earned the funniest comment from mean-mouthed Simon. The child was wearing a rooster comb on his head. "I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight," quipped the pithy judge. If I'd heard that after a performance I would have tucked my crinoline back into the latrine and flushed myself down the toilet. Boots and all.

He forgot the words, NO vocals and he wiggles. I think he'd had too many Dramamine or something. The guy has a beautiful smile and I love his confidence. But I hate the Mohawk.


Haley Scarnato: soft rendition and too controlled. Boring.
But the classy outfit worked for her. It took my attention away from her voice. I didn't like Simon's "sweet but forgettable" comment.
How unkind. I would have withered.
And then she returned to sing Stevie Nicks in my boots.
Every soprano needs a little leather.


Phil Stacey: "Every breath you take," by Police started off like milk toast. Ended like honey.

Melinda Doolittle: She smiles with her eyes when she sings. Love that. She has the strut thing too. No problems with her vocals. She's the girl to watch. It's interesting to see someone surprised at their own talent while listening to compliments. Nice to see her encouraged and growing as a singer.

Blake Lewis - sexy voice. Light husky edge. The in-between magic was missing, I felt. Just OK. After the ladies votes. Paula, "I loved what you did with the song." Flirting?

Jordin Sparks "Hey Baby Hey Baby"......The boots again. Gray boots with red checked gingham. She looked like Dorothy in the red light district. Hey Baby is like that annoying Old MacDonald Had A Farm song and about as interesting as Happy Birthday. But the checks were clever and memorable, even if the melody wasn't.

Chris (the other one, yes, that Chris) sang "Don't Speak."
Christ, don't sing.
"I like your flavor, man." (Randy) Huh? I like your flavor?

Randy needs to get the cotton out of his taste buds. Chris sings like he just ate a rutabaga. I agree with Simon. The other two judges weren't listening.

Chris (the only one, yes, that Chris)Ahh...those were the days.
But I digress.
As for fashion....er...I mean music. (imagine soprano rolling her eyes) I hope Sanjaya doesn't try to put that rooster comb in his pocket.
And for heaven's sakes you-boot-strutting girls, stay out of the ladies room.

Unless you need to kick the door down.