Can't you see that post title up there, Homer. It is NOT my birthday!
But you just...
Whatever, Homer. This is no time to be difficult.
I'm having a midlife crisis.
Glad you asked...
I don't have time to wait. I'm getting older by the minute.
The calendar says that today is my day of earthly birth, but I don't feel a day over 10!!! How can this be?
Now that she's gone ....
Wow! You are the bestest imaginary dog in the whole world!!
Did somebody call Cindy Crawford? I want a refund. Her beauty secrets ain't working.
Apparently my dog knows more about the workings of my inner molecules than she does. And I paid $600 for an ounce of grey-hair prevention snake oil. I must have missed a dose that one day when I was under the weather. Good thing I've had my trusty and loyal friend, Homer, all these years.
Thank you, Homer. You really do care about me after all.
I'm grateful for the evil box of Clairol. I'll try to color that one strand tonight and get on with my life.
This was the most traumatic birthday present I ever received.
What did you say, Homer?
That's what I thought you said.
You are the best dog EVER!!
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