Monday, July 18, 2011

Monday Mimisms ~ I Don't Want To Lose Control


So. I'm driving now. How else will I get myself to physical therapy? Or the grocery store? I'm driving slowly. Carefully. Timidly. Like a newbie driver. And avoiding rainy roads at all costs. 

Some days are better than others, but overall I'm feeling better and the headache is going away. I'm trying not to complain and press on.  They said everything looked good on the CT scan of my head last week. I asked if they saw anything else in there. They said, "no." Ha ha ha.

So Miss SmartyPants (that would be moi) decided to take the bypass to the hardware store yesterday to save time. After all, I'm a big girl. I can handle a 4-lane road for 5 minutes. Right? It wasn't raining. I felt confident. Hopeful. Good! I can do this. Right?

It would have behooved me NOT to switch to the left lane. But I was going to exit left and I had no choice. I hate those steel guardrails in medians. I try to stay away from them. All of a sudden I'm surrounded by cars to the right, in back, in front of me.
Cars! On the bypass. Cars! People driving cars! Who knew???!
Obviously they missed this in Radiology....

Before I could say get-off-this-highway-NOW the button above had been pushed and panic ensued. Left lane...left lane..oh yes...NOW I remember. That's when the tumbling started.  I may never drive in the left lane again.  Have you ever hyperventilated in a car? 
Confession: I used to secretly shake my head when people told me they were having a panic attack. I'd think, "WHyyy? How? Can't you just breathe deeply and control it? What is THAT all about?"
I've had to eat crow. 
And carry a paper bag everywhere I go.

 I've never had one in my life until now. My mother was here the other day and I had one in the middle of the kitchen for no good reason at all. In the kitchen??! (well...I WAS attempting to cook but that's beside the point) She led me to the table without a word, patted me on my sore head and brought me a cup of coffee. Apparently everyone understands this but me.
The doctor said, "You are traumatized. Take these pills. You're going to need them." Sure. Great. Thank you, kind Doctor. But how am I supposed to take them and drive??!
THAT's when I need 'em.
**You are correct, My Precious Doggie.**

Do you know how this accident has changed my way of being in a car? And for the better. 
The very first thing I did when I left the car dealership in my nice shiny new car with zero miles was stop and buy a good Bluetooth. Because no way no how am I going to be distracted by a phone while I'm driving. I used to joke on this blog about putting on makeup, changing shoes while I changed lanes and a host of other no-nos in the car. Text while driving or even parked at a light? Me? 
No way. In a split second you can lose control.  I don't even want to take my hands off the wheel to change radio stations. Not anymore.

Let's just get this out of the way. Watch this video, my friends. It's a crash course (no pun intended) in hydroplaning and what to do. This is what happened to me. I don't want it to happen to you.
  Click the picture below.

or click here

I can't stand to watch so I'll just say goodnight to my precious dog, Homer.
I love you, Homer!!


Akelamalu said...

Having watched that video I'm not surprised you have panic attacks. I'm sure it will get easier my friend. In the meantime you know Reiki surrounds you. x

Mark In Mayenne said...

Hey Mims, glad you are on the mend X

Ferd said...

I'm glad you're driving despite the anxiety. I'm sure it will ease in time. Meanwhile, enjoy the new car smell! :-)

Jamie said...

Hope the panic attacks subside as you get out more. In the meantime, I did the award. You can replace rain panic with shark panic.

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu - Reiki Reiki Reiki..yes...thank you, my sweet friend.

Mark - Good to see you. I am!

Ferd - Gotta do it. My independence is too important to me. Thanks for the encouragement.

Jamie- Sharks and water go together. Now I'm skeered.

Anonymous said...

Great video... thanks for sharing. Hope your panic attacks subside and that you feel better soon cause you are really confusing poor Homer...

lime said...

when i got my ct scan after the head on collision i was never so happy to be told i had "an unremarkable brain."

glad you're managing to get out and about even if it's scary as hell....and i know it is. just keep reminding yourself to breathe and one day you won't have to remind yourself anymore.

The Gal Herself said...

Panic attacks suck. I would never diminish your terror. BUT I'm glad that you take driving more seriously. I wish everyone did. I think we all forget that it's a ton of steel there that just regular folks are piloting at high speeds. It's not the time to text or fix your makeup! Your new attitude is not only smarter, it will keep you safer over the long term. Homer and I like that. (I know he can be a smart ass at times, but we've talked about it and Homer really is crazy about you.)

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - He is looking at me so pitifully right now. Wondering how long the love fest will continue....

Mimi Lenox said...

Lime - You are the light at the end of my tunnel. Thank you!
I did better today.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

slow and easy at all times and oyu will lose the panic over driving eventually

lime said...

glad to be of some encouragement. and glad today was better. :)

Misty Dawn said...

I can completely relate. After the tornado, I would freak at even the idea of having to drive if it was even possibly going to storm. I'm still not completely over it, but I've come a long way.

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