These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep.Do you mind?
I have a few things to say. This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.
To Elizabeth Taylor: I forgot to say goodbye. You fascinated me my whole life. You were all girl. All the time. Thank you for your glamorous and giving ways.
who the hell is Snooki?
Polygamists Unite! Research reports: In five years it will take 3.5 people to actually support one household. Don't they have that backwards? It already takes 5 people to support 3.5 people. Think about it...
To all the Birthers out there:
I want to see the Ten Commandments written on the original stone tablets too. In triplicate signed by God.
Fat chance on both counts.
Dear FAA: I like to take naps. I hear you have some openings.
To any Birthers still out there:
Do you think that is Snooki's real name on her birth certificate?
Have you checked?
Did you know there's a phone app that captures pictures that OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU are snapping at the same time? We need to stop taking our phones into public restrooms.
To the gas price gougers: $5.00 a gallon in California? Pretty soon I won't be able to afford to drive to work. But if I stay home maybe I can afford to support half myself.
Kate's weight: It is our business WHY?
Last call for any and all Birthers left out there. I need your help:
Who the hell is Snooki?!!
and last but not leastIf Donald Trump had Sarah Palin's hair, I would vote for him. That is my deep political opinion on the matter.
Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.