These things keep me up at night. They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep.
Do you mind?
Do you mind?
I have a few things to say. This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.
I'm all for free speech, telling it like it is and tolerating an enlightened and open society (or else I wouldn't be writing this post) but I've gotta tell ya...we've heard some crazy mess spoken in the last few days on Planet Earth.
Back in the day
way way waaaay back in the day my mother would have washed my mouth out with soap for even hearing the things I've heard said lately. But that was before every thought that passeth outeth the braineth of mankindeth was madeth to be uttereth all over the worldeth at the speed of lighteth.
**I think I just channeled Jimmy Swaggart**
You best be hiding those children.
NoMore Kadafi: The people are in control you say? Dodging bombs from the sky makes that a little difficult.
And I really don't think this is your color.
To Rahm Emanuel (who looks just like my friend Vinny's brother - I kid not!) was booted off the ballot and somehow became Mayor of Chicago anyway. Now there's an example of people in control.
To the 14 absentee lawmakers in Wisconsin who are about to lose their parking spaces and other perky perks for not showing up at work. I like it! The protesters now have more sleeping room for tent and merry-making.
you think of that? And you call yourself the Swiss cheese capitol of the world.
To Google: PLEASE don't lose my emails again this week even if you do lose your algorithm. But I just don't see what Al Gore has to do with it anyway. It sounds like a personal problem to me.
THANK you for finding them amongst the tapes in your mysterious storehouse. Maybe Al could use some to patch up the ozone layer. Why don't they ask me these things?
BTW: If Kadafi would pull a Mubarak and Mubarak would fly in the proposed no-fly zone -
all problems solved!
And we wouldn't have to hear anymore crazy talk while they are upgrading their resumes.
I could have saved 'em a lot of time ya know.
On an important side note: I hear the United States government will be in operation for at least two more weeks after all. Whew! And I thought they might close the federally funded nail salons.
Does this make sense to you?
All the teachers in Providence, Rhode Island were given pink slips but Rush Limbaugh still has a job.
To the wacko church members hellbent on picketing military funerals (I'd said this before ya know).... Just 'cause you won a Supreme Court decision today based on the premise of free speech does not mean the price paid for it was free. Your freedom to say it was bought with blood already spilled by the American soldiers you love to hate.
Mexican border mayhem:
Please, for the love of God, stop supplying weapons to Mexican drug dealers from my corner of the globe. I am ashamed.
To the Apple iPhone designers: I just have one word to say about your virtual keypad. F.I.N.G.E.R.N.A.I.L.S
To Mr. Webster! Please! I have seen exactly 23 ways to spell the Libyan leader's name in the last 24 hours. Somebody call it.
To Charlie Sheen:
Go directly to Rehab. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200
We could use a little more duct tape in this country.
And maybe some soap.
And maybe some soap.
Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Photo credit: Public domain and Creative Commons 2.0