Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Mimi In A Minute #13 ~ I Don't Want To Hear It. Yippee.


These things keep me up at night.
They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain
so that I can get some sleep.

Do you mind? I have a few things to say.
This is Mimi unplugged.

Hide your children.

To the Pollyannas reporting on the "good things" that have come out of this recession: "Yippee! We got a super deal on a house. It was a steal!!

Somebody had to lose their home first. I don't want to hear it.

"Yippee! I've been promoted to
Head-Of-Everything-In-Sight. Look at me!!"
Somebody had to lose their job first.
I don't want to hear it.

"Yippee! Our family is bonding over the Scrabble board at night instead of going out."
Pay attention. Your kids are spelling out 4-letter words that start with F and end in K....followed by Y.O.U.

"Yippee! Our grown children came back home to live with us. We are the 21st century Waltons."
You are the 21st century WalNUTS. Somebody had to lose their MIND first.

**which in turn will spark an unprecedented pandemic of multi-generational anti-depressant prescriptions**



"Yippee! I'm taking alternative natural remedies instead of the legal drugs I can't afford."
I hear wild mushroom sales are booming. Want a salad?


"Yippee! I have been
Promoted From Within."
Congratulations. You are doing four jobs for the price of one.
You didn't pass math in school, did ya....


"Yippee! I have expanded my horizons and learned a new trade."
I'll trade my old shrink
ing 401-K for this stinking fast food joint on m
y new horizon.
I hate to think what's over the NEXT horizon.....




"Yippee! I lost my job but found my inner self."
You've been smoking mushrooms again, haven't you....


And finally.....To the United Kingdom's You-Are-Not-Welcome-In-My-Country-List:

You're letting Ann Coulter in but not tattoo Barbie? Where is the logic in that??! And let me tell you another thing: I am not impersonating Queen Elizabeth. SHE is impersonating ME! I promise not to stand anywhere near her if you will take me off the banned travel list.


Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to make a mushroom salad and buy a large yellow hat.
Goodnite John Boy.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.
Sixty seconds flew by. I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.

Image Queen Elizabeth: Public domain

Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved
.

32 comments:

The Gal Herself said...

QE vs. Mimi? Oh, please! She WISHES she could look as good in that hat as you would! And does anyone really want to see HER in a pencil skirt? Just heard that there may be more layoffs here next week, so your post couldn't be more relevant and timely (dammit).

One Wacky Mom said...

Very funny sweetie! But you do that the Queen has my throne too don't you? I am older than you, my brother told me I was the Queen of England when I turned 50...

Remember?

He said, "Ev 50 is the new 40...and you're the Queen of England.

So she's on my throne, but I'll share it with you.

Besides, I'm a tad overwhelmed lately, I'm sure you can tell.

I can only wear my crown once a week. You can have it the other six days!

Hilarious sweetie! I miss you!!!

On my next trip into NYC, I'll try to call...maybe this weekend? I have a long trip to Wooster. I can fill you in.

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - I would loan her my pencil skirt if she would fly a peace globe at Buckingham Palace.
I'm gonna ask her. Can't hurt.

And I'm sorry to hear about this news on the job front. Things are bad all over. Stay strong. From what I've read, it would be extremely difficult to replace you!

Mimi Lenox said...

Ev!!! - I'm gonna say this one time. When you get to NY...C.A.L.L. M.E.

We have some catching up to do, Missy. I miss you!

Mimi Lenox said...

P.S. Ev - And yes, I can tell you are overwhelmed. We only need some girl time to fix that though. I'll set aside some time.

Yippee!!

Mimi Lenox said...

P.S. Ev - And yes, I can tell you are overwhelmed. We only need some girl time to fix that though. I'll set aside some time.

Yippee!!

feefifoto said...

Do you think the flowers on her hat are fresh and get replaced whenever she wears it?

I know that's completely off topic, but it's the kind of question that would have kept me awake all night, so now that I've gotten it off my chest I guess I'll sleep tonight.

Ferd said...

Yeah! I'm with you, Mimi! Those darn optimists bug me! ; )

I have a new job this year, but I'm glad no one had to lose theirs for it to happen.

Will be buying a new house soon, and will be getting a deal, just like the deal someone will get on the house I'm selling. I'm not particularly happy with that. We have all lost a lot during this recession.

Good post, Mims. Pass the mushrooms, please!
: )

Dawn (Twisted Sister) said...

Glad you are feeling better... that was a load off now wasn't it?
Goodnight Mary Ellen :)

Mimi Lenox said...

Fee - I'm glad you feel better. Yes, I suppose the Queen should get fresh flowers whenever she dons a hat. It's appropriate...

Mimi Lenox said...

Ferd - You are the ultimate optimist. Ha ha ha......

(I do not share my mushrooms)

Mimi Lenox said...

Dawn - Goodnite Elizabeth.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

I just wish people understood why this economic down-turn happened. The causes of the housing bubble and the banking industries destructive ties to Fanny and Freddie are being repeated again and again. We cannot fix the countries problems by repeating them ... and at a higher cost every time.Margggg

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Hey Mimi, would you like to play Scrabble with old Speedy???

He hee :-)

Hahn at Home said...

Hi Mimi - I'm buying a house and getting a real deal. It's the only way I'd ever own my own home again. After four rounds of layoffs where I somehow found myself still standing, I felt somewhat safe in doing so. The house was lived in by renters. They were standup sweethearts. Kept it clean, paid on time, loved the place. Their investor-owner however didn't fix anything, used the equity to invest elsewhere (and lost it all) and ripped them off for their deposit. I can't do much, but I'm selling all the appliances he left and giving them the money. Won't be what they lost, but I'd hate for them to think that everyone was an asshole.

Those people who purposely screwed people over will get their comeuppance. Somewhere along the line.

katherine. said...

your highness...with all due respect….I have tagged you. I don‘t tag very often…it really is a compliment…

Charles Gramlich said...

Surely you are not old enough to remember the "WAltons?"

John said...

Mimi was in a bad mood on Wednesday. Hope she feels better on Thursday. : )

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Well, if that isn't just raining on everyone's proverbial parade?

Ha!!!!!!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Sorry, Mimi...us british do some idiotic things at time. I'm sure clever British girls will sneak tattoo Barbie across to here.

Love the b&W girdle pic!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Great post. Pass the 'shrooms...

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric - We are in a mess for sure. Ya wanna play Scrabble eh??....

Mimi Lenox said...

Hahn - I am happy for you! I've been reading about your house hunting episodes. It sounds like the perfect place for you.

What a wonderful thing to do for those people. Shame on the investor!

Mimi Lenox said...

Katherine - ....is tagging??! What is the world coming to?

I'll be right over. Thank you! I love getting tagged and believe it or not, nobody ever tags me!

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - Surely I am.

Mimi Lenox said...

John - Bad mood? ME??!

(maybe just a little.....but that is what I do on Wednesdays ya know.)

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-Luc - I found that vintage b/w pic on public domain and I loved it too.

Tattoo Barbie will survive. I'm not sure about Queen Elizabeth or Michael Savage but Barbie (my hero) will survive.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - On rare steak and a Smirnoff on the rocks.....I'm on it.

Autumn said...

It's been way too long since I've had a Mimi-inspired laugh. Thank you!

Travis said...

You look way better in a pencil skirt than QE. And she doesn't have nearly the same level of excitement that your capers provide.

Ricardo said...

I am reading that this recession may be a jobless recovery which scares me.

There will indeed be people doing 4 jobs for the rice of one with no perks, raises or 401k matching. Companies will love this I bet and keep things that way even when we're back to the booming economy.

Julie said...

You've done it now Queen Mimi....I am depressed as i glance at my 'in progress' game of Scrabble. Jeff's opening word was "want"....i suppose that describes our economic situation.

I "want" some wine...it's only 9AM.

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