Monday, January 5, 2009

Halleblujah, The Church Of Blog


I was minding my own business the other day just viciously hunting down with radar and a pitchfork following up on the bloggers who'd completed my meme request on Monday when I read a post by Shannon who bemoaned the fact that she intended to convert to a new religion but had not followed through. I replied, "Never fear. We all belong to the Church of Blog." Eureka! A post came to me in a vision....

Angels angelled. Choirs sang.

If you're like me, you spend more time in front of the computer than you ever spent in a church - at least lately. Why do we flock to the block and blog anyway? I wondered as I wandered until all the words got tangled up like fifteen verses of Just As I Am on a guilty hypnotic Sunday morning altar call in the south.
I had to slap myself and stop.

Don't go there, Mimi.

Not So Ridiculous Reasons Why I Post In The Church of Blog

1. We have better seats and nobody's hat is in the way.

2. Nobody knows your name.

3. Our hymnals never match. We all sing our own tune. Oh, how I love the sound of that harmony.

4. We have an uncanny resemblance to angels at times and heathens at others.
Nobody seems to mind.

5. If we want to go to confessional, we open a private blog.

6. Everybody preaches. Sermons are loud. Raucous. Docile. Penetrating. Visceral. Lustful. Lovely. Lame. Lyrical.

7. Laughter is meted, virtual hugs are greeted, and sometimes tears are needed.

8.We hug trees instead of pews.

9. Nobody cares what we wear or IF we're dressed. (Watch out for possessed web cams. Sometimes they accidentally come on when you're wearing your jammies.... or less.)
I plead the 5th.

10. We mix blurch and politics a LOT. But it's OK. (That's blog + church for all you non-blog speakers)

I have a funny communion pun (something to do with Smirnoff grape juice) but I can't do it. I just can't. Damn Baptist upbringing.

11. We can speak in tongues from many tribes and Babel Fish knows how to interpret. (You won't understand that unless you went to the pencil-brain-washing scary hollering hand-raisin' pew jumpin hallelujah church in the south.

12.The Devil always makes us do it. No exorcism requested.

13. Blogdultery is often commited. Nobody cares and nobody tells.

......and because all blogs eventually go to that Great Cache in The Sky, we all get saved! (I crack myself up)

Now if I could only figure out how to get a tax deduction.



oão Zeferino da Costa - Moisés recebendo as tábuas da lei - 1868 (public domain)
Copyright © 2008 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

43 comments:

Linda said...

Amen, Sister Mimi, Amen!

You forgot to add that no one passes a collection plate! That's always a plus in my pauper book!

Shannon H. said...

LOL You did it Mimi! and rather quickly. You know...as a non-profit organization we can get a few tax breaks.

Finding Pam said...

By golly, I think you hit the nail on the head with this post. I know I have thought some of these very things you mentioned. Being a christian does not mean you have to go to church.

As of late, I have not been and I have not wanted to go to church. That bothers me a lot. I have felt so bad with this stupid RA. With the move and leaving my friends, I am bummed out. I think it is easier to not go than have to say good-bye.

Sorry for the long post. It's late and I am cleaning my house for the realtor to show our home tomorrow.

I would rather be in front of the computer than cleaning. Ugh!

Take care...

Starrlight said...

Oh Honey, Blogdultery is damn near the sacrement of the Church of Blog and you know it ;)

Charles Gramlich said...

And Here I thought I wasn't very religious. Now I know differently. ;)

Mimi Lenox said...

Linda - I didn't forget about the collection plate....I just couldn't make it funny.

Mimi Lenox said...

Shannon - We're non-profit? I never knew!

Mimi Lenox said...

Pam - I didn't intend this to mean people should stop going to church (!) .... but rather a pun at myself for how much time I actually spend here.

We are a congregation of sorts.
For sure.

Mimi Lenox said...

Starrlight - Oh but it's usually a discovered sin.....like it or not. I'll have to more careful about that.

Or not.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - Ha!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

What a riot. And a lot of truth!

Mimi Lenox said...

P.S. Starr - I did "modify" your man cleanse statement so that qualifies as "blogdultery".

I guess I should repent.

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - Welcome to the Church of Blog.

Anonymous said...

I have to correct Duchess Linda...I'm always passing the collection plate. It just always comes back empty. :0(

Great post, Your Highness, and very timely as well. Just when I'm having a crisis of faith, you remind me where I get my spiritual nourishment! Thank you.

Tarheel Rambler said...

I have to correct Duchess Linda...I'm always passing the collection plate. It just always comes back empty. :0(

Great post, Your Highness, and very timely as well. Just when I'm having a crisis of faith, you remind me where I get my spiritual nourishment! Thank you.

Mimi Lenox said...

Anonymous Lee - I have enough trouble keeping up with peace globes, dating profiles and funnies....I don't think I'm ready to give out spiritual nourishment all by myself...but as a group, we're awesome.

Bond said...

And sing the praises of the holy roller blogger - say AMEN!

And sing the praises of those with the talent to tell us we are religious - say AMEN

And sing the praises of small puppies who hold signs up and tell the world their story - say AMEN

Mimi Lenox said...

Bond -
Who you callin' a holy roller??!!!
(But thanks for the praises my friend)

I'll try not to be irreverent tomorrow.

bundleocontradictions said...

What a beautiful thought #3 is!
An angel? Me? What an interesting idea...
Your blog is one of the best for #7.
I have to disagree w/ Homer’s last statement. I thought it was hilarious!
Forgive me, Your Highness, I have sinned. I have a broken home 'Puter & have done nothing to fix it. What's my penance? lol

Akelamalu said...

It's the best church I've ever attended! :)

The Gal Herself said...

I didn't think anything could be funnier than yesterday's post, but here you go, proving me wrong. I guess this makes you like Queen Elizabeth, who is not only royal but the titular head of The Church of England. (Tee hee. I said "titular.")

meleah rebeccah said...

AMEN!!

I absolutely LOVE that...

"We all belong to the Church of Blog."

And what clever reasons you gave!
xoxox

Mimi Lenox said...

Autumn - Sometimes Homer talks behind my back. Have you noticed?

Mimi Lenox said...

Akelamalu _ Did you hear the music? Wasn't it lovely?

Mimi Lenox said...

Gal - Thank you.
Do you realize you just cussed in a church? Just sayin......Is titular a cuss word? I'll have Homer look it up.

Mimi Lenox said...

Meleah - What a clever bunch we are.

Amazing Gracie said...

Asara reminded me that I hadn't
"memed" in a long time, so I copied
her post today and did the un-named meme. Hope you enjoy my extremely introspective, intelligent and illuminating answers.
~~~Blessings~~~

Through Thick and Thin said...

Love it Mimi - Come on by my blog for a special award for you!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Are you starting a new church movement, Mimi?

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Blogging tax deduction??

... add a paid click and incorporate your new on line business. Then, on the 1020 tz extension form (internet and international revenue form) itemized deductions should include your own salary and some made up stuff. everyone does it

Your year end expendature should overide income, thus a net loss and earned income credit!!

BTW ... remember to "hide" the pay clicks, so people don't think you are befriending them for money ;-)

I think blog jammize could be a meme. Just sayin`

Mimi Lenox said...

Gracie - I'm sure I will enjoy it immensely! Thanks for visiting. I've missed your smiling face.

Mimi Lenox said...

Debbie - I have captured that butterfly and placed it in a draft post. Thank you so much. I will pass it on!

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-Luc - Just the church of the peace globes....that's all I can handle. Oh! But are we talking pass the collection plate? Then maybe yes.

Mimi Lenox said...

Eric - I have a few questions about that. Email me! I'm glad someone knows what to do. I need details my friend.

jennifer said...

Sorry, but Homer is WRONG. You are THAT funny! Great post.

Julie said...

Shortly after the Soul Patrol formed we had a "Church of the Holy Onion". We were VERY bad! But it was SO god! Dana of Dana's Random Batherings was the "preacher". You should share thoughts!

Don said...

I thought there was a collection plate - you just pass around memes and responses...

Desert Songbird said...

Is it a sin to belong to two or more churches?

Mojo said...

This blog operated by Mimi Pencil Skirt, Inc. A 501-C certified charitable organization.

There. That oughta do it.

Oh. I forgot about the $250 application fee. My bad.

Don said...

I could see Mimi as a Queen and an ordained minister... But all those titles you're accumulating will take forever to write! Introducing you at the ball would take a considerable amount of time...

Patti said...

Great post, Your Majesty, and after reading the comments I can't think of anything else to say..they all said it already!

I do go to church, but I hope I am a member of the Church of Blog as well. There aren't any membership fees, are there? Dues? Pledges?

If so, then no can do.

Travis said...

Now that's comedy!

Michelle said...

Clever! ;-)

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