Saturday, July 19, 2008

Following Doctor's Orders







"Miss Pencil Skirt?"

"Yes Dr. Doom?"

"I have good news and I have bad news."



"Maybe I'd better sit down."



"You are sitting down."

Oh.
"Your cholesterol is slightly moderately ridiculously somewhat (ahem) elevated - did you say you ate a donut for breakfast? - and your potassium is low."

Uh huh. So what's the bad news doctor?He was not amused.
I exercise, I eat right (most of the time)and I have to stay out of high winds for fear of being blown away. I don't get it. Are you suuuurree there's a medical degree on your wall?"It's just in your genes, Miss Skirt. Take these pills, eat a banana everyday and cut out the sugar. I'll see you again in a few weeks. "

"But bananas will make me fat! Do you want me to be fat??! It's a conspiracy I tell you. Whoever heard of a fat Queen in a pencil skirt?"
Can you believe he walked out in the middle of my rant?

In the last three weeks I've eaten approximately 36 bananas counting snacks. I'm so sick of bananas. I think I'm overdoing it. Don't you? Everything in moderation that's what I always say. Maybe I should switch to a different vitamin for awhile.
I choose one of the four basic food groups.

Pizza.
I'm going to have a pizza and go to bed - even though it doesn't look anything like the picture on the box. Pizzas have potassium.
I'm sure of it.


Digg!

Copyright © 2008 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

32 comments:

Desert Songbird said...

I'd rather eat the bananas than take the daggone horse pills (Potassium) that I take - four per day!

Mimi Lenox said...

Desert - Oh no! OK. OK. I'll stop complaining. Do you eat bananas too?? I'm beginning to wish I hadn't eaten that pizza now....

ciara said...

i actually have to stay away from bananas because of my thyroid, but i can never resist a chocolate covered banana. you should try that, mimi...very delicious. :)

Ferd said...

Yes, chocolate covered bananas. Ciara could be my doctor!

I might also suggest banana pizza. Let me know how that works out.

Pixie said...

I will take any bananers you do not want. Thank you.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

take some fish oil, that'll fix anything honey! ha ha ha

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mimi Lenox said...

ciara - YUM. Sounds great!

Ferd - So glad you concur. This could be the beginning of a beautiful diet.

Mimi Lenox said...

Pixie - I will share my bananas with you anyday!

Bee - You're the second person to say that this week. I will!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think you should give bananas the slip.

Mimi Lenox said...

Jean-luc - Ha!

Lee said...

You would get more potassium per serving from foods like raisins, figs, apricots, currents, nuts, etc. Now you just need a good looking Eunuch to feed them to you, oh Royal One. :0)

Mimi Lenox said...

Lee - Eunuch! Did you say eunuch?! Lee! A Eunuch is a castrated man. I think not.

Let's change that word to Sensual Queen Slave and I'll be perfectly happy with the morsels of raisins and figs sans the missing body parts. With a big Cleopatra fan and half-naked bronzed body....grapes...wine...the wheels are turning. Now there's an idea....I feel better already! Thanks!

Julie said...

Shall we call you Her Royal Cholesterolness?

C'mon Mimi....git r down!!! You can do it!

Travis said...

I prescribe daily banana splits. The beauty of this remedy is that when you get bored with the standard banana split recipe, you can choose from bazillions of ice cream flavors and toppings.

I would also suggest a banana split flavored CAKE.

There will be no charge for this advice.

Mimi Lenox said...

Julie - I have done it before and I will do it again.
Her Royal WHAT????!!
Off to the dungeon with ya.

Mimi Lenox said...

Travis - What am I paying the doctor for?

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Yes! Someone who makes sense. Of course Pizza is an important food group. That's why I capitalized it. Also I was recently put on perscription fish oil. I think it works no better, but by paying a dollar a day, I make sure I take it...

Mimi Lenox said...

Bud - 3 votes for fish oil. 0 for bananas. Something is fishy with this doctor. Huh! Why didn't I ask all of you first?!

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Banana's? I take potassium tabs myself. Just saying honey. These things just seem to happen at our ages. Join the crowd honey. Big hug and lotsa lovies. :)

Charles Gramlich said...

I'm singing the high cholesterol blues myself.

Mimi Lenox said...

Charles - Welcome to my world. Have a banana!

Julie said...

But but but you granted me permanent freedom. You said......

**feels a perfectly pedicured foot in her petootie**

Mimi Lenox said...

Julie - You obviously did not read the fine print....bwaahaahaaa

Patti said...

Queens don't eat bananas. It just doesn't look right.

Jean-Luc has a good suggestion. Hardy har.

Ralph said...

Too many bananas can make for grumpy royalty. Quite a challenge: make bananas interesting.

Like Elvis' favorite snack, peanut butter and banana sandwich, fried in margarine.

Your doctor would not be amused with this, either. Who cares what he thinks anyway, he does refer to you as 'Your Royal Highness'...doesn't he??

Deana said...

My high cholestrol showed up when I was only 20 and a size 2. It was my granny's fault apparently...she passed it on. My hubs has far worse and he works out all the time and is very thin. Yet I know overweight people who eat horribly that don't have it...go figure. Luckily my HDL is very high and so I refuse to take any meds. I rarely eat red meats, actually none anymore and try to keep my excercise up to keep the meds at bay. My husband tried Lipitor and it tore his muscles to shreds in less than a month. Those statins are horrible and they don't tell you that. He has gone off them all now and does only red yeast rice and some non-statin drug.

Good luck with yours! And sorry about the bananas!

Mimi Lenox said...

Patti - Soooo undignified. I totally agree.

Ralph - I'm already grumpy! I've thrown 30 people in the dungeon in the last twenty-four hours. I can't take it anymore!!

Deana - Size 2. That was me when I was twenty as well. Now it fluctuates between 4 and 6 petite. You and I are not and will never be heavyweights. My dad is diabetic with heart disease. My sister is younger than I and diabetic. My dad led a healthy lifestyle (thin and athletic) never smoked and still fights this. I started early listening to my body and getting in shape when I saw what was happening. It is an ongoing thing but not unbeatable.

I also take garlic pills and have just started the fish oil again. I want to get OFF the statin. I don't like what it could potentially do to my body but for now I will take it.

Red yeast rice? I will ask my doctor. Thanks!

P.S. The bananas are gettin' old let me tell ya.

JoeyJo said...

One of our favorite treats is diced fried apples, flavored with cinnamon, wrapped in a burrito wrap, fried in olive oil, then,
indulging a bit, dusted with powdered sugar and more cinnamon. Health benefit searches for olive oil, cinnamon and apples results in some pretty amazing stuff. Haven't added powdered sugar or the wrap itself to the search ;)

Chuck said...

Yes, pizza and an icy cold, tasty beverage - with fizz and things that hop. That's what my degree says. Major was communications ~ Did I communicate this theory well enough for your taste? I'm sure of it. *smackies*

Hahn at Home said...

I have that dreaded hereditary kind of high cholesterol which I'm glad they detected before the last artery hardened. The medicine is a miracle drug. I don't care for bananas anymore - but I have to eat them too. Bleck. I'd rather have brussel sprouts any day

Mimi Lenox said...

joeyjo - The apples sound great. I'll do some reseach. Thanks!

Chuck - lol. Communicated perfectly.

Lori - Yes, the meds work well. I just hate the idea of side effects. Yuk. Sorry you're going thru this too.

crazy working mom said...

Oh, Sonic has a banana split blast...it's full of bananas, strawberries, ICE CREAM, chocolate, & whipped cream. This would be perfect for your strict Doctor's Order diet! :)

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