Sunday, November 25, 2007

Monday Mimisms with Mimi Queen of Memes ~ Somebody Call The Fire Department
(aka The Case of The Rude Meme)

It's called the "I Think I Caught Something" meme and I have no idea who sneezed first. I saw this at Sandee's wonderful site, Comedy Plus, some time ago. Since I am woefully behind (because of peace globes) in my meme-answering, tagging, and award posts, I thought I'd do it democratically and start way back at the beginning where I got behind in the first place. It is perfect for my whimsical mood and will not cause my brain to cramp.

It's a meme about your house. So welcome to the castle and I hope your stay is pleasant.....
But let me warn you. Something very strange happened at Bloggingham tonight literally halfway through this meme. As I was taking pictures around the house and answering these questions, I nearly burned the castle down! And then realized as I finished it up, just how appropriate the meme really was. It was bizarre!

To preface this I should also tell you that this afternoon I had this VERY strange feeling about my son. You know, one of those odd 'Is everything all right' feelings? I called him. He was fine. And then he said, "Thanks for jinxing me, Mom. You and your weird feelings. Maybe you should be the one watching out for bad luck. I'd be careful if I were you. Bye. Love ya!" And then.....I sat down to do this, minding my own business like a good monarch should. And then.....out of the mouths of babes ...The meme - as it began . My answers are in italics.

1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? Caress Silky Shower Soap. Not that it's any of your business.
I stopped putting soap in the moat for that fresh silky swim.

It was killing the moat ducks.

Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? What kind of a question is that? Only someone who has a watermelon in their refrigerator at all times would ask such a question. Who created this meme??!
And the answer, but I love it and now I wish I had some. I guess the lone box of baking soda will have to do.
What would you change about your living room?I would install a remote control.
Small things amuse me.

Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? My ex-husband blew up our dishwasher. "Don't worry, hon. I'll fix it." All I can remember is fire shooting out and a whole lot of cursing. It was part of the divorce complaint.
Therefore, the answer is....always, always, always dirty. My dishwasher is broken. I hide the dishes in there. Don't you?

White or wheat bread? Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.....
Rye is my first choice. White wheat is my second

What is in your fridge?Let me right back. Go on to the next question. I'll be back. I promise!

(I'm hungry....I think I'll go heat up some chicken while I'm at it.)

What is on top of your refrigerator?A set of green china that I don't use, a flyswatter, and a lot of dust.

Can you describe your flashlight?Missing. It's pink and prissy. Needs batteries. But I forgot where I put it.

What color or design is on your shower curtain?No curtains on my shower. Oooohhhh........scandalous. I'm selling tickets to buy a new dishwasher. So far, my dishes are still dirty and the floor to the bathroom just keeps getting wetter. Nobody wants to see a dirty Queen either. Sigh.

I told you I'd be back. Happy now? Smart Choice no-margarine margarine for cholesterol afflicted Queens, eggs (oh my Gosh, if you look closely you can see the eggs have expired. Don't look.) and a half-empty jar of jelly that's been there for months because I can't open it. I'm waiting for Prince Charming to open it and then we'll have toast and jelly for breakfast - without the eggs though.

How many plants are in your home?A zillion pansies on the deck and two plants in the house.
Is your bed made right now?
Of course, silly. See?

Comet or Soft Scrub?In the bed? Comet is a reindeer. And I've already told you about the soft silky scrub in my shower. Pay attention.

What is taking the chicken so long to cook? I set the timer for two minutes.....

If you must know....
Gosh! You guys are so nosy. I could not live without French Vanilla and the Wheat Germ is for longevity. Really! I sprinkle it on everything. Crunchy. Yum. And the ducks love it too. Long live the moat ducks.

I'm still trying to find that darn flashlight....,.

Is your closet organized?

Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?

Uncorked glass.
Would you please stop staring into my refrigerator?

Can't a Queen have some privacy?
Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
No. I have water made in a pitcher though. I made it myself.

If you have a garage, is it cluttered?

Cluttered does not begin to describe my garage. It is adjacent to the dungeon and I have all kinds of booby-traps in there to keep the meme dodgers from escaping. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I wouldn't post a picture of my garage for a million dollars. Maybe for a flashlight, but not a mil.

What is that smell?Curtains or blinds?Both. I only close the curtains during dates. The neighbors are sooooo nosy.

Ever get the feeling the Universe is trying to tell you something?

How many pillows do you sleep with? first. There's only one left on the bed in the morning.

Do you sleep with any lights on at night?No. I have a flashlight by my bed at all times.

How often do you vacuum?The last time I vacuumed my ponytail got sucked up in the hose. It wasn't a pretty day at the palace.

Standard toothbrush or electric?Both. In the interest of truth decay.

What color is your toothbrush?Pink. It matches my flashlight. Where is my toothbrush anyway?

Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?It says "Welcome To the Castle ~ Home of Mimi Queen of Memes ~ It's right under the sign where the lady sits and takes ticket money for tours.

First stop: My refrigerator. It's fascinating!

What is in your oven right now?Electronic gadgets that make the oven work.
Yum...Those leftover cutlets are going to taste so good. I can almost smell them. Wait a minute. I CAN smell them. By the time I realized what I'd done it was toooooo smelly and it was tooooo late. Two rooms were filled with smoke and the plate and food were charred black. The microwave is now it were.

But by gosh I finished this meme.

And to answer this question - I wish I'd put the chicken in the oven instead!

No dinner for me.

Is there anything under your bed?Books, four pillows, a slat that fell down - and smoke.

Chore you hate doing the most?Microwaving.

What retro items are in your home?Two dozen pencil skirts, one groovy bell-bottomed polyester jumpsuit that I still love and an expired carton of eggs from 1962.
And a very old microwave that just died.

Do you have a separate room that you use as an office? 

Yes. I'm sitting by the fire now in my office.Why does my make-believe fireplace smell like Italian cutlets? I should have roasted marshmallows instead. I hate this ambience!
How many mirrors are in your home?Ten. Seriously.

Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?Is emergency money different than real money? I really need to know because if anybody on the planet needs an emergency plan, it's me.

What color are your walls?That is quite possibly the lamest meme question I've ever encountered.

At the moment, they're a smokey blue. And you, Mr. Meme, are very rude.

Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?
A fire extinguisher would have come in handy just a few minutes ago.

What does your home smell like right now?Ha! Burnt chicken. That is so cool! The meme mirrors real life.

Kinda spooky.

Favorite candle scent?Charred jasmine.
What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?I think I saw a jar of pink pickles. You looked. Did you see any?

What color is your favorite Bible?
Favorite Bible? We've gone from candles to pickles to Bibles. Back up. If I had a protective weapon in this house I'd shoot this meme. My Gospel is brown thank you very much. The one I read is brown. It's brown. I read it. But it's not my "favorite." ???? OK??!
Ever been on your roof?Only when I can find my flashlight. Stay tuned for the sequel to Mimi On a Hot Tin Roof later this evening. Film at 11.

Do you own a stereo?No. But I used to own a microwave. Now the dishwasher and the microwave are a matching pair.

How many TVs do you have?Two

How many house phones?Four

Do you have a housekeeper?
Do you have a brain? What kind of question is that for a Queen? I have gardeners and cooks and housekeepers and cooks and gardeners and did I mention cooks? Where was she when the microwave was smoking?

What style do you decorate in?Mimi Eclectic
It usually involves paisley.

Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?I think I'm going to steal Sandee's answers as well. At this point in the meme she began to talk seriously about having a drink. I think that's an excellent idea.
Cheers, Sandee!

Is there a smoke detector in your home?  Smart aleck, meme.
How did you know, Mr. Meme, that I would need one so soon?

Now that you mention it, it didn't go off!! NOW I remember what I did with the smoke alarm batteries. I borrowed them to use in the pink flashlight the night I lost my tiara in the dark. (now THAT was a night let me tell ya...) If I could remember what I did with the flashlight I could have saved the microwave!

In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip?
You're kidding. Right?

Has anybody seen my flashlight?

P.S. I think it would be bad meme karma to tag anyone with this sizzling sensation, so I'll pass. You can thank me later. But if anybody would like to join in on the weird vibration, feel free. Just don't call me when your house burns down.


katherine. said...

a matching set of prissy flashlights....niiiiiiice.

Can we please see a picture of the groovy bellbottomed polyester jumpsuit...pretty please...

barbara said...

Hi Mimi,
I have done a few memes, but that has to be the most personal one that I've seen yet :)
Thank you for the guided tour of the castle...
I can relate; domestic help no longer being as it uded to be, I also have a cluttered closet and don't ask about the garage, either.
I would rather call it a "disposal unit"...

Hoping that you have a great day in your kingdom ;)
See you soon.

Bond said...

Waves to the Queen.... HI MIMI....
Ummm... you are burning stuff? What did you set the microwave for...200 minutes? HOW DO YOU BURN..OH NEVER MIND....

Excellent take on this meme... thanks for the tour....

Damn stubbed my toe...where is the flashlight?

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

you are a meme a minute mimi! say that three times!

smiles, bee

Odat said...

Chore you hate doing: Microwaving....ahahahahahaha!

Dixie said...

I believe that you left your flashlight in the 'frig... that was the last place I saw it.. ;-)

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

What Dixie said. I've seen that flashlight twice at least and always in the fridge. Very well done Mimi and your witty answers are great. There really were a lot of dumb questions and you made this funny. Have a great day. :)

Travis said...

We're having an incurable giggle fit. Seriously, we can't stop laughing. Someone please call 911.

Julie said...

Hey Dixie! At least her flashlight wasn't next to bob!

Bwahahaha!!! Great meme Mimi!!

Trav told me about their gigglefit and I'm so glad I came over!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Brilliant! Hilarious! Inimitable! Exceptional!

The best meme responses I have every read!

Jeff B said...

That was some fun reading.

We've got to get you enrolled in that cooking class PRONTO!

Mimi Lenox said...

Katherine - I will show you - and you alone - a picture of the bellbottoms. But I was in them in 1975. Warning: It's rathet amusing.

Barbara - You should do this meme. It's really a lot of fun once you get past the ridiculous questions.

Bond - 200 minutes, 300 minutes, what did it matter? The chicken is dead. And so is the microwave. Please tell Santa I need one.

Bee - I couldn't say that without Chardonnay either.

Odat - It's all the microwaves fault. I hate that microwave. May it rest in pieces.

Dixie - Thanks! I'll go look in the fridge right now. Was it pink?

Sandee - Thanks for doing it first. If not for you, I probably wouldn't have seen this and I wouldn't have lost my pink flashlight and I wouldn't have burned the chicken and I wouldn't have smoked up the house and.....thanks a LOT SANDEE!!

Travis - Is Mr. Tucker laughing too? Excellent!

Julie - Bob? Who is Bob?
And it's always nice to pass the giggles around the blogosphere.

Nick - Wow. What a review! Thank you! Glad you enjoyed.

Akelamalu said...

You're so funny Mimi! :) I can't believe you passed on tagging anyone for a meme! I'd do it but I'm so busy hospital visiting at the moment I barely have time to sneeze! :(

Link Within

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...